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Tote Jokes

I have a GREAT new bag. I filled it halfway. Next day, I filled half the remaining volume. Next day, half the remaining volume... at this rate, it'll never fill up!

I just love my Asymp tote bag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Working in a forestry camp with my buddy Mike

My buddy Mike and I were working in a forestry camp, clearing brush, planting trees, trimming branches, and a hundred other chores.


The foreman, Silan, made us work hard. It seems like we rarely got a break. We would catch our breath, and then it’d be back to work. It was hard work, bac...

What’s the difference between a teenage girl and the Popes luggage?

One is totes blessed and the other is blessed totes.

What do you use to carry potatoes?

A tater tote

Cashier: Hey man, do you have enough bags for your groceries?

Me: Totes

A woman was checking out at the grocery store. . .

A woman was at the store with her kid, just about to check out. When she got to the cash register, all she had was a backpack. The clerk asked her why she wanted the backpack since her kid was still very small. She responded, "I'm going to stuff my kid in the backpack and carry him around." The peop...

I went to a maths convention...

... and on a table near the entrance were some bags filled with maths related items.

There was Pi pie

Hypotenuse mouse

And many others

So I thought to myself, "I really want one of those bags," and I went to the table to grab one. However, no matter how hard I tried I ...

I was victim of mugging once

I had walked down to the grocery store to get a few ingredients for pot roast. I already had the meat in the fridge at home so I really just needed the vegetables. I picked out some onions, carrots, and some potatoes. After paying, I started walking back to my apartment. Some mean looking guy po...

Red Neck Computer Dictionary

* LOG ON: Makin’ a woodstove hot.
* LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.
* MONITOR: Keepin’ an eye on the wood stove.
* DOWNLOAD: Gittin’ the farwood off the truck.
* MEGA HERTZ: When you’re not keerfull gittin’ the farwood.
* FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much far...

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