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Boxes Jokes

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I'm sexually attracted to metal boxes with locking systems.

But don't worry. It's safe sex.

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Black Boxes in pickups

About 8 years ago, when the trend towards really large pickup trucks began, there was a major increase in accidents with pickups. At the urging of insurance companies, the three major car makers started adding a "black box" to each truck. It would record the last 60 seconds, showing speed, accelerat...

If two Homeless people are hitting each other with a cardboard boxes...

Is it a pillow fight?

When my friends talk about the 80s they think of boom boxes..i had to stop them.

That's just a stereo type

My local movie theater was robbed of almost $10,000

The thieves got away with three boxes of popcorn, two large sodas, three boxes of candy and a hotdog.

An elderly woman is going through some old boxes of clothes.

She picks out an item, turns to her husband of forty years and says “Look dear, I wore this when we first started dating and i can’t believe it still fits.”

The husband replies “Yes honey, you’ve always liked that scarf.”

I remember seeing Bruce Jenner on Wheaties boxes as a kid and wanting to be him.

Apparently he looked at Wheaties boxes and wanted to be Mary Lou Retton

Back in my day I went to the store with only $1 and came back with 2 bags of chips, 1 carton of milk, and 3 boxes of chocolate

Now they have cameras

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An astronomy teacher prepared two boxes filled with joke cards. The first box was filled with asteroids and the second one with comets. He then let one of this students pick a box...

The student picked the one with asteroids. He pick one card and read the joke out loud to the class. The class, however, didn't find the joke funny. Seeing this, the professor made the student pick another card out of the same box. Same thing happened. The confused student looked at his teacher and ...

What does a beatboxer do when he's extremely angry at some boxes?

He realizes he has anger issues.

Did you hear the one about Schroedingers failed early experiments with ice boxes?

He titled his paper “Ice Ice Maybe”.

A guy walking down the road ,comes across a farmer. This farmer has boxes upon upon boxes of peaches, in the middle of nowhere mind you.

The guy, buys a few peaches and asks the farmer, “what do you do with this massive amount of peaches”

The farmer replies ‘well we sell what we can, and what we can’t we can.’

A keen hunter takes his wife deer hunting for the first time in her life.

He first explains the basics to his wife, and then says: "One thing is super important: Whenever you shoot something, you must claim it right away. Or else if someone else gets to the kill, they might claim it. So if you want deer meat in the fridge, make sure you're quick to claim it."

Of ...

A new Navy recruit has his first day on the submarine...

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.

"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your post ...

Tragic news from the Nestle factory today as a worker was crushed to death under hundreds of boxes of chocolates.

He tried in vain to get help but every time he shouted, "The milky bars are on me!!" --his fellow workmates just cheered

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Mr. S is talking to Mr.B

First time telling a joke here. A bit dry but I find it funny

Mr. S is talking to Mr.B
Mr.B your bathroom is the same exact size like my bathroom. I need to buy tiles, how many boxes did you get when you did yours?

Mr.B: 20 boxes of tiles!

A week later

Mr.S tells Mr....

My wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whiskey and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting guests?" I asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why did you buy so much bread?"

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5 boxes for a dollar...

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in the corner with a sign on them saying, "5 boxes for a dollar."

Well, the woman just can't believe this price so she asks the clerk if it was correct.

He replies, "Oh yes, 5 for a dollar...

What happens when you put a bunch of cardboard boxes in your house during a full moon?

You make it a warehouse

Boxes of previously uncounted ballots have been found in Florida

Associated Press is now declaring the State of Florida for Al Gore

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Black people love boom boxes ..

I hate to generalize, but it's their stereotype ;-)

The largest condom factory in the States burned down.

President Trump was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of ...

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Three sailors are discussing their cargo

They are used to transporting goods and make a good living doing so, this time however they've been tasked with taking 300 boxes of penis shaped potatoes across the channel and they all think it's a joke.

"We'll be a laughing stock" says the first sailor.

"I'll never be able to live ...

I’m part of a local community group, and recently people have been asking for leftover moving boxes

Each time I want to say the boxes that hold still are more practical

I'm currently moving house. Has anyone got some spare cardboard boxes?

My ex won't let me live with her.

Crazy ex-girlfriends are like boxes of chocolates..

they'll kill your dog.

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