My father and I were leaving our hotel in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.

I said, "Don't forget your Baghdad".

(Hopefully it isn't a repost)

I just told my suitcases we aren't going on vacation this year

Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage

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A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. (NSFW)

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

He asks, “What are you doing?”

She answers, “I’m moving to London. I heard prostitutes there get paid £400 for doing what I do for you for free.”

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom ...

I called Animal control Welfare today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods with a fox and four cubs."

"That's terrible," the woman on the phone replied. "Are they moving?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."

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I made a suitcase out of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

It's jam packed.

What's the difference between a suitcase and an elephant?

You can pack a suitcase, but you can't pachyderm

The electron asked the photon, “Have you packed a suitcase?”

The photon said, “No, I’m travelling light.”

A man asks that he be buried with a suitcase of gold

An old man asks his family that, when he dies, they take all his savings, convert them into gold bars, put them into a suitcase, and bury the suitcase with him.

The family obliges and, upon his death, buries the suitcase with him.

The man arrives at the gates of heaven with his suitcas...

A man is walking in the woods when he finds a suitcase.

He opens the suitcase and inside are three foxes.
So he calles emergency services and says

"I just found three foxes in a suitcase. What should I do?"

"Well," the operator said, "Are they moving?"

"I don't know," he said, "But that would explain the suitcase."

A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up.

"You've been on for five miles--that'll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase." The Scotsman responds, "I ha'not, I want a ha'penny fare, just got on this vera moment."

They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more and more enraged, and finally, as the bus is passing over Lon...

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Wife: "OMG I JUST WON THE LOTTERY! Quick pack your suitcase!"

Husband: "What?! That awesome! Holy shit...uh... should I pack for the beach? The mountains? DISNEY???!!!"

Wife: "I don't care just get the fuck out!"

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A man comes home from work

Where he finds his wife loading suitcases into a taxi cab. Confused, he asks her what she is doing. She tells him, "I'm leaving you and moving to Las Vegas." Even more confused he asks, "Why? What's in Las Vegas?". His wife responds and says, "I heard I can make $300 for a blowjob there."

The...

A man is wandering the dessert, having lost his way, when he comes across a friendly looking salesman with a suitcase.

'Good day to you, good sir', the salesman greets him.
'Water, please!' is all the man manages to say through his sore throat.

'Oh, I'm afraid I don't have any water on me. But I can offer you one of these stylish ties.' With that he opens his suitcase and presents a collection of colored t...

Back when the pandemic first hit, I had to tell my suitcase that my travel plans were cancelled.

Since then, I've constantly had to deal with emotional baggage.

So a pimpled man goes to the doctor...

He comes in, but refuses to sit down. The nurse asks if there is anything she could help him with.

He waves her away politely, and holds his suitcase in the air, bumps the top of it and an entire stool comes folding out. He places the stool on the ground and tries to small talk with the nurse...

A poor Jewish tailor has a son...

So he goes to see the mohel and tells him, "My son must be circumcised, but I have no money to pay you."
After thinking for a moment, the mohel gets a huge jar from his shelf and gives it to the tailor. "For all my years as a mohel, I haven't known what to do with all the foreskins, so I put the...

Why don’t photons carry suitcases on vacation?

They travel light.

A passenger at an airport in New York was at the counter

-I'm going California for business, I want to go to Los Angeles, I want to send the big suitcase in my right hand to San Francisco and the smaller suitcase on ground to San Diego.

-Excuse me sir, but I'm afraid that's not possible, we can't do that.

-Great then, because that's what you...

A guy walks up to a musician...

"You ok?" He asks?
"Yeah." The musician responds, "Just thirsty."
"There's a vending machine with some water over there if you need it."
"Yeah I tried it... It only accepts ones."
The musician opens a suitcase next to him, revealing a saxophone.

"I only got a tenor on me."

I reported to the police that some thieves had stolen my suitcase. The matter got taken to court. Long story short...

I lost the case.

A man tried smuggling sausage and vodka out of Europe and his suitcase caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.

The whole event was pretty terrible.

It was the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.

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A man walks into a bar with a suitcase..

..and orders a drink. Bored, he opens his suitcase and takes out a piano and sets it on the table. Then he reaches back into the suitcase and takes out a tiny man in a tuxedo. The tiny man immediately starts playing the piano.

The bartender is impressed. He says, " Wow! Thats amazing! Where ...

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The incredible trainer

It was a busy day at the bar. A lot of costumers were enjoying their breakfast. Until the door slammed open.
A shady trench coat with an almost as shady wearer appeared in the doorframe, a big bulge in both pockets. He approached the counter, as silent as the entire bar, exchanging glares with ...

Two Beggars in London. (NSFW)

Two beggars in London

Ali and Habib are beggars.
They beg in different areas of London ...

Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot ...

If you could bring a suitcase to heaven

An old rich man is nearing the end of his life. He has started many charity organizations and has always been generous to the poor, but he never really felt like he found any purpose to his life, so he decides to attend a Christian congregation one Sunday. The minister gave a lesson entitled, 'If yo...

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Soon after 9/11, an Arab leaves behind a suitcase at a train station

Standing nearby is a blond-haired blue-eyed white man who immediately notices this. He walks up to the suitcase and the zipper's not completely closed, so he takes a peek inside.

He sees electronic gizmos, what looks like a timer, and a huge pile of cash. He grabs the suitcase and chases down...

A Man Comes Home From Work...

... to find his wife sitting on the porch with all of her bags packed and sitting around her. He gets out of the car and makes his way to the porch.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm going to Vegas where I can make $100 for what I give you for free!"

He thinks a second, nods h...

A nervous-looking man walks into a Swiss bank, clutching a suitcase

He walks up to one of the tellers, his face damp, and says, in a low whisper:

"Hello, I'd like to deposit one million dollars... in cash."

The teller leans forward and smiles in a friendly way, and replies, in a normal tone of voice:

"You don't need to whisper here. In Switzerla...

People gave me strange looks when they saw me stuffing Shakur into my suitcase.

I don't know what the big deal is, I just wanted Tupac Shakur.

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Said to my wife “Pack your suitcases I’ve won the lottery!”

She said pack for hot weather or cold weather?

I replied “I don’t give a fuck just get out!”

At a European airport I saw a guy with a really long and very thin suitcase.......

I went up to him and asked: “Tell me, are you a Pole Vaulter?”
He replied: “Nein, I am German but how did you know my name was Walter?”

Did you hear about the person who was murdered and put into a suitcase?

It was an open and shut case.

A man run homes excitedly, burst open the front door and yells to his wife "Honey! I won the lottery, pack your bags!" The wife excitedly jumps up hand grabs her suitcase and begins throwing clothes in it. She says "Ohmygod, that's amazing! Where should I pack for?"

The man replies " I don't care! Just get out!"

I called the ASPCA hotline to tell them I'd just found six Badgers in a suitcase by the side of the road

"Are they moving?" asked the operator

"Not sure" I replied "But that would explain the suitcase"

A vulture and his wife are going on vacation to the Bahamas.

With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.

"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.

"No, sorry, that's our carrion"

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You can't take it with you

A wealthy man is on his deathbed. He tells his wife he thinks he has found a way to take his money with him when he dies. He asks her to put some money in a large suitcase and place it in the attic. When his soul leaves his body he'll grab the suitcase on his way to heaven. The wife obliges and does...

On my first day working for TSA we searched a neat, sandwich shaped suitcase.

It was jam packed.

My mate bought a new suitcase

My mate bought a new suitcase advertised as 'indestructible!', with a lifetime guarantee.

One week later one of the wheels broke clean off and the case would fall over when being used.

He tried to return his broken suitcase but the company refused to deal with him.

'Im going to ...

I was driving along and saw a suitcase on the side of the road, so I pulled over to investigate.

When I opened it up I saw a family of badgers.

I immediately pulled my phone out and rang the Animal Rescue number.

"Hi, I've just found a family of badgers in a suitcase."

“Are they alive?"

"No idea, I'm not a vet."

"Well are they moving?"

"Oh yeah, good po...

I asked the clerk at the store if a body would fit in this suitcase

I'm just kidding, i'm going to cut it up.

My suitcase started crying when I picked it up.

I was carrying emotional baggage.

An Irishman, an American, a Mexican and an Arab board a plane with two suitcases each

Halfway through the flight, the pilot announces that the plane is rapidly losing altitude and that they must throw a suitcase each to lose weight.

The Irishman opens his suitcases: one has bombs and old IRA memorabilia inside, the other is filled with cans of Guinness for the trip. "There's t...

A rabbi had worked for many years as a mohel performing circumcisions...

He collected all the foreskins he had cut over his career and brought them to a leather maker after he retired.

He brings the foreskins to the best leather maker in town and says “Make me whatever you can with these.” Surprised but undaunted, the leather maker says “Okay, come back in a week ...

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A customs agent stopped Sam, an elderly Jewish man who had just immigrated to Israel and asked him to open his two suitcases.

In the first suitcase, the agent found over 1 million pounds in £10 notes. "Excuse me, sir" he asked Sam, "where did you get all this money?"
"Vell, I'll tell you," Sam began, "I love Israel. For many years I travelled all around the world and stopped off at all of the public toilets in all the ...

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A librarian was organizing her books when a man in a dark suit walked up.

"Hey, I'm Steven. I'll pay you $20000 if you show me your nipples tomorrow."

The librarian was shocked. $20000 was a solid 6 months of work. Dumbfounded, she nodded her head. Steven then left without a word of acknowledgement.

That night, the librarian had a lot trouble falling asleep...

A man is checking in for a flight from Russia to America.

Airport staff check his suitcase and see that he only has a bottle of vodka and a knife.

They ask him: is this all your luggage?

He replies: if I had something else, I would not go to America.

A bumblebee suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat, realizing he has overslept and is about to miss his connecting flight home after a successful overseas business trip.

He makes a mad rush to the airport, suitcase in one hand, passport and airline ticket in the other. His tie flaps loose in the breeze, his shirt wrinkled and untucked, with his face covered in bushy bumblebee beard stubble.

He recklessly flies into the main entrance, nearly knocking over a fa...

A doctor is retiring, he mostly performed circumcisions his whole career...

...and he collected the remainders in a large glass jar. He brings the jar to a leather tanner and explains that it’s all he has to remember 50 years of service to his community - please make something, anything, nice from it.

The leather tanner says no problem; to come back in a week.
...

I could never date a suitcase

Just too much baggage for me I guess

What did the son say to his father when he lost his suitcase in the airport on their trip to the middle east?

"Where's baghdad?"

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When ...

I climbed on a tree with a suitcase.

My aim is to become a branch manager.

A man has two things in his suitcase

A man had two things in his suitcase. One of them is a smiley face and the other one was a revolver.

"What are those for?"
"Ohh, one is for when I get sad and the other is for when I get really sad"

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A man walks into a bar and opens his suitcase revealing a million dollars in cash.

"I'll give this million dollars to the first person who can sing "Auld Lang Syne" and give me head at the same time."

Immediately people started a stampede, men, women and children all alike, towards the mans crotch. They whipped his dick out and started battling over who gets to do the "perf...

When I get home from work, I like to pack myself into really small suitcases.

I can hardly contain myself.

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A man comes home to find his girlfriend packing her suitcase.

"What's going on baby?"

"I'm leaving you!"

"Why?"

"I just found out you're a pedophile!"

"A pedophile??? Well that's an awfully big word for a fourteen year old."

As soon as they had finished making love, Susie jumped up from the bed and started packing her suitcase

"What on earth are you doing?" asked her puzzled husband.

"In Las Vegas I could get two hundred dollars for what I just gave you for free," she pointed out, "so I'm moving to Las Vegas."

This was enough to provoke her husband to jump up and begin packing *his* bags.

"What are yo...

Retiring Dr.

A doctor who delivered thousands of babies over his career is finally retiring. He had an odd habit but whenever he circumcised a baby boy he would throw the foreskin in a large gallon jar of formaldehyde. As he is cleaning out his office there sits this large Jar and he begins to think "What can I...

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A doctor has been doing circumcisions for 30 years, and he's collected all the foreskins. (NSFW)

He has them all in a box, and decides he should do something with them. He takes them to a taxidermist and asks him to make something out of them.

A few weeks later, he returns to the taxidermist, who pulls out a small box and sets it on the counter. The doctor opens the box and there is a wa...

Covid Vaccine?

Just been up town and there’s a bloke near Oxford Circus with a suitcase selling COVID 19 vaccines. £2 each or three for a Pfizer.

A man finds a rhumba of rattlesnakes inside a suitcase

So he calls 911 and tells the operator about the matter at hand. The operator is shocked to hear this and asks whether the snakes are moving. The man says "I don't know, but that might explain the suitcase."

A joke my dad told me. With my twist.

A Jewish circumcision doctor once had a jar full of the skin he had circumcised over the last few hours. He went to a new leatherworker he had heard about that could use the leftover skin. So the Jewish doctor thought he would try and reuse, reduce, and recycle.

The doctor met with the leathe...

Irish Divorce

The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.

“What happened?? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an e-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fi...

No peeking

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, Mom forgot until the last minute.

So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nighty. She bought it and t...

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Three colleagues are having a talk about how dumb their girlfriends are

The first one says: "My grilfriend is so dumb, she just spent $20.000 on a new kitchen, but she doesn't even know how to cook!"

The second one says: "My grilfriend is even dumber, she just spent $50.000 on a new car, but she doesn't even has a license!"

"Well," the third one says: "My ...

A man and his wife are exploring the woods

They stumble upon a suitcase. The man opens the suitcase to discover two mice inside that don’t appear to be alive.


“Oh my gosh, are they moving?” exclaims the man’s wife.


The man replies “I don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”

What do you call it when a business man gets murdered by luggage

A suitcase

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An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, is preparing to jump off a bridge...

As he's about to step into the void, a hand grabs him from behind.


He turns back annoyed and sees that the hand belongs to an old bearded overweight guy.


"Why did you stop me you old fool?"


"Have you gone mad my son? You were about to kill yourself!" The old ma...

A Russian, an American and a Vietnamese were on a private plane together.

At 10,000 feet, the plane started encountering some problems and the pilot announced: "Gentlemen, I'm afraid we are running out of fuel, we will need to throw our baggage away to reduce the weight if we wish to land safely!"

He then opened the door and asked the passengers to begin letting go...

A rabbi is planning on retiring.

A rabbi is planning on retiring. Over the years he's saved up all the foreskins from all the circumcisions he's taken part in and he decides to take them to the local leatherworker. The rabbi explains that he'd like to have a retirement gift made out of the foreskins and the leatherworker agrees a...

For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $1,80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Litt...

A Rabbi is thinking to himself one day...

"What do I do with all of these foreskins?"

As a Rabbi, he had accumulated at least a thousand foreskins and was stumped at what to do with them. Finally, he decides to take all of these foreskins to a leather worker to see if the leather worker could make something out of them.

The ...

There once was a rich man who was near death.

He was very much aggrieved because he had worked very hard for his money, and he wanted to be able to take it with him to Heaven.

So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth.

An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth ...

pancakes

Psychiatrist: What brought you here?
Patient: My wife sent me here because I like pancakes.
Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that, I like pancakes, too.
Patient: Excellent! Come to my place, I have seven suitcases full of them!

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A man gets in the hotel elevator

He hears a voice say "going up" and looks around, weirded out that he can't see anyone nearby who would have said that. But when he chooses his floor, the voice says "door closing" and he realizes it was the elevator talking.

So, after his vacation has ended, he gets into the elevator with h...

Another Parrot Joke

A young couple bought a parrot, but quickly discovered that he could cause them a lot of embarrassment. Every time someone came to the house, he would tell them what the couple had been up to, particularly what went on in the evenings on the sofa.

“That’s it, I’ve had enough,” said the man, “...

My neighbour has a fetish for holidays

I thought he was just jealous when he asked "Can I come in your suitcase?"

Rich man tries to take his money with him.

A wealthy man decided he was going to try to take all of his money with him when he died. He got a large suitcase, filled it with cash, and put it in the attic. He was hoping to grab it on his way up to heaven. After he died, his family went up into the attic and saw that all his money was still sit...

$400a night

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
‘Just where the heck do you think you’re going!’, said the man.
‘I’m going to Las Vegas’, said the wife, ‘I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!
‘The man said, ‘Wait a ...

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Did you hear about George Clooney?

George Clooney called 14 of his closest friends and said “Hey, mark Sept 27th, 2013, on your calendar. Everyone’s going to come to my house for dinner.”

The 14 friends belonged to varying economic backgrounds. One of them was married to Cindy Crawford while another was riding his bicycle on h...

Husband: The kids haven’t eaten their sandwiches

Wife: ok just throw them out

[Later]
Husband: *helping the kids pack a suitcase* look I'm as surprised as you are

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A guy woke up one morning..

and heard a voice inside his head that said, "Quit your job... sell your house... take all your money and go to Las Vegas." He ignored it, but later that day he heard it again, more insistent. "Quit your job... sell your house... take all your money and go to Las Vegas!" The harder he tried, the mor...

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Had this really irritating flat mate

When I was at uni I had this really irritating flat mate called Callum. Always leaving his shit lying around and not tidying up. Drinking my milk out of the fridge, eating the last slice of bread. Pissing on the toilet seat. You know the sort of guy, the one who’s stirring your pint with his cock wh...

The company sent my department on a work trip

The last night before heading back home, we decided to play a prank to one of our colleges - we put a pack of condoms in his suitcase. When he got home, his wife started unpacking his stuff, and found our "gift". Without skipping a beat, he explained: "We were all given pack of condoms when we arriv...

an American, an Arabian and a Vietnamese in a helicopter

Gasoline was low, the pilot tells them to get rid of unnecessary things to lower the weight.

The American throw a suitcase full of money and said: That just 10 million dollars, There's so many of them in my bank.

The Arabian throw a suitcase full of gold and said: That just 20 kilogram...

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A traveller enters a mysterious looking hotel and is greeted by a rather attractive girl sitting behind the check in desk.

She smiles at him, exposing slightly crooked teeth and endearing dimples. "You can have me, right here, right now." She gestures to a door he hadn't noticed before and continues, "Or, you can carry on to success."

The traveller is a little nonplussed, a little flattered about being propositio...

Flummoxed, I asked my wife, "Honey, the kids don't want to eat their vegetables. What do you want me to do?" She shouted back from the other room, "That's fine. Just throw them out, dear!"

Later, I told them, "Look, I'm just as surprised as you are!" as I helped them pack their suitcases...

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Oh, Little Johnny.....at it again

One day, about a week prior to his birthday, Little Johnny’s dad asks, “Johnny, I know your birthday is coming up, and your mother and I really want it to be a good one, but with your mother losing her job recently, and the fact that we have a $280,000 mortgage, we may not be able to spend too much....

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Redneck Wedding

After the ceremony the new couple arrive at their honeymoon suite at the Motel 6 and the new bride says ‘you will be careful won’t you?’

The young hubby is a bit confused and asks ‘Why?’

She explains that she is still a virgin

He throws his stuff back into his suitcase and storm...

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Too expensive!

A French farmer takes his wife to travel to Paris. While his wife rented a hotel and put suitcase, he went for a walk. A prostitute approached: - Honey, will you come with me? - How much? - One hundred euros! - Too expensive! - If you like cheap then go find others, the prostitute said and left. ...

A devout Christian man living in New Orleans refuses to leave his home after hearing news of an imminent hurricane and flood.

A richly devout Christian man lives alone in New Orleans. He keeps to himself mostly, isolating himself in prayer and self-reflection with little care for the outside world.


One day, the man notices it growing dark outside earlier than normal. He steps outside and feels the wind has pick...

My girlfriend dumped me because I'm unorganised.

So she packed my suitcase and I left.

Always check the name

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about r...

My wife told me she's leaving me over my only fools and horses obsession.

I said I'll get my suitcase from the van.

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A young sailor about to on his first ever around the world cruise" visits his grandfather, a retired Admiral.

"Gramps, I'm so excited to go on my first cruise," he says.



"Well, son, let me see your pack so I can make sure you're taking everything you need," says the grandfather.



The sailor goes and grabs his suitcase. He opens it for his grandfather to inspect, only to get smac...

An Indian scientist was collaborating with an American called Robert

Both of them being genetic researchers, they had reached a breakthrough in rice where a gene introduced would help it grow in the most adverse of conditions. They called it Victory gene, or V gene for short.

But Robert decided to steal the credit for himself, so he stole the v gene, and escap...

Karen served wild mushrooms to the church group.

A group of country friends from the Wildwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Tom and Karen to be the hosts, Karen wanted to outdo all the others. Karen decided to have mushroom-sm...

The Genie and the Demon

Three men are out walking in the woods one day, when they stumble upon an old bronze lamp. Naturally, having spent much of their lives reading internet jokes, their first inclination is to rub the lamp and excitedly greet the genie that emerges.

"You have freed me from my near-eternal captivi...

A man walked into a bar. The bartender asked him "so, why the long face?"

The man said, "Well, my grandpa died. We had the funeral yesterday".

"Oh, I'm so sorry", said the bartender. "Here, have this one on the house".



"Well thanks, but that's not all," said the man. "You see, today morning, his will was read. I used to think that I was his favorite,...

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A bad, bad day

After walking into the bar with a very disturbed look on his face,a guy orders 4 tequila shots. He then proceeds to down all four of them immediately...

Bartender: "Wow, any man who drinks like that has a problem."

Guy: "You could definitely say that. I came home from work early today...

I don't know how anyone can take Putin critics seriously, with how stupid they are.

Keep in mind that these are the same people who habitually trip and fall backwards onto bullets and lock themselves in suitcases.

My wife was leaving me because I made too many Legend of Zelda references

My wife was leaving me because I made too many Legend of Zelda references. She packed up her suitcase, and she walked out. As soon as she walked out of the door, I noticed that she had left her suitcase here. We live in a bad neighborhood, so she packed some pepper spray in it just in case. I quickl...

You know what I love doing more than anything?

Trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.


I can hardly contain myself.

A orthodox priest, a catholic priest and a rabbi ..

Walking in the dessert and find a suitcase with 3 mil $.

They talk and decide to split the money evenly,but then the catholic priest says:

" Wait, god gave us this money by his will, so i think we should give something back to him for his mercy."

They all agree but each has a di...

There are 3 men in a plane going over a city( a little bit long )

The first man is a football player and in the middle of the flight he throws his football out the window and says I won’t need this anymore.
The second guy is a businessman and a few minutes after the first man he throws his suitcase out the window and says I won’t need this anymore.
The thi...

A woman gets a call from her husband while he’s at work.

“Darling,” he says, “I just got invited by my boss to go on a weekend company fishing trip. We’re leaving right after work so would you mind packing some things for me? I’ll need my blue silk pajamas, two days worth of clothes, toiletries, my fishing pole, and my tackle box. Oh, and don’t forget my ...

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For three years, the young attorney

had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper’s daughter.

Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! <...

What did the camelid say when I said we were going on vacation?

Alpaca my suitcase

A short moving story

A man is walking through the woods when he comes across a suitcase. Inside the suitcase he finds a fox and her cubs. He dials animal control to report his discovery. The woman on the other end exclaims, "That's horrible... are they moving? The man responds, "I don't know but that would explain the s...

Walked into the house, with winning scratch off ticket in hand..

Me: Honey! It finally happened! We won the lottery!

Wife: Great I'll take my half and pack my bags.

Me: Your $8 is on the suitcase.

BIG FIGHT

Me and the wife had a big fight,she told me to leave the house. To spite her I went upstairs and packed my bags.
As I was walking down the stairs, a suitcase in each hand, I see she's waiting for me at the foot of the stairs. When we're at eye level, she says to me. 'I hope you die a slow and...

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