A man walks into a bar carrying a duffle bag and places it on the bar. He says "My son just turned 21 and I would like to buy him a drink!" The bartender looks around and asks "Where's the birthday boy?" The man unzips the duffle bag and pulls the head of a 21 year old man out of it. The bartender g...
I walked into my local bank, they asked me to remove my mask..
I said there was no way I was going risk my life or theirs by exposing us to an unprotected face.
Then I gave them 1 minute to fill the duffle bag.
The New Secretary
Mr Robinson hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning she noticed that Mr Robinson's fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said "Mr Robinson, your barracks door is open." He was puzzled by her remark but later in the day noticed that his zipper...
A Priest, Pastor & Rabbi
Three holy men find a duffle bag full of money and try and decide what to do with it.
They decide to split it three ways but know they have to give some to the church too.
They Priest decides to draw a circle on the ground and says " I will throw my share up in the air and what falls...
The husband came home from work Friday afternoon and told his wife he'll be going fishing for the weekend with his friends from work. The suspicious wife ever so kindly offered to pack for him. She went unto their closet and threw a duffle bag full of clothes and toiletries together. Having loaded u...
Old joke from former Eastern Germany: An archeology team was having trouble determining the age of human remains that they found deep in a cave, so they called in the best forensics teams from the CIA, KGB and the Stasi....
The CIA team goes in first with all their equipment and comes out about 4 hours later.
"As far as we can determine, the remains are about 500,000 years old."
Not to be outdone by the CIA, the KGB goes in and comes out about 8 hours later.
"The remains are approximately 515,550 y...
A man is stranded on a desert island
As he is walking along the beach, bemoaning his current situation, he kicks something in the sand. It's a magic lamp! He rubs it and a genie appears.
"I will grant you three wishes." Says the genie.
The man thinks for a moment and says, "For my first wish, I'd like a boat with a full t...