A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have avocados, get six.”

A short time later, the husband returns with six cartons of milk.

“Why did you buy six cartons of milk?” the wife asks.

He replies, “They had avocados.”

Stuttering Bible Salesman

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who wo...

[OC] Why cant milk cartons walk?

Because they lactose.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men go on a long expedition into the mountains

Both of them happen to be smokers and while one was prepared and brought extra cartons, the other guy had only brought just one. Not long into their journey the second guy has ran out and starts pestering the first guy for a pack of cigarettes, but the first guy isn't budging, he brought just enough...

They stopped putting pictures of missing kids on milk cartons, and started posting them on r/jokes

They get much wider coverage. No one reposts more than r/jokes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got to the factory this morning ready for my usual day of boxing up milk cartons, when...

my boss walked up to me and said, "I'm afraid there was a problem last night. Some idiot on a forklift dropped the sugar in to the milk condenser."

"Oh, shit", I said, "how much was contaminated?"

"I'm not gonna lie," he said, "... all of it... I'm afraid that for the rest of the day, ...

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar.

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who is a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” One of the yogurt cartons says to him, “Why not? We’re cultured individuals.”

A Scotsman, an Irishman, and an Englishman...

A Scotsman, an Irishman, and an Englishman are each sentenced to a year in solitary confinement; before being locked away, each is to be granted a year's supply of whatever he wants to help him get through the long, long spell alone.

The Scotsman asks for a year's supply of whiskey; it's give...

The blonde was heading out to the grocery store...

...when her roommate said, "Hey, buy a quart of orange juice. And if they have eggs, get a dozen."

Half an hour later the blonde came in the door carrying four cartons of juice. "There's eight more in the car," she said.

"Why in the world did you buy 12 quarts??" asked her roommate.<...

It always irked my single mother that her grocery store didn’t carry eggs in packages of six—just by the dozen.

Then one day, her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six. “I was so excited,” she told us later, “that I bought two!”

A man and woman are having lunch....

The woman goes, "hey could you please go to the store to get 1 litre of milk? And if they have avocado's, bring 6.

*10 mins later*

Man comes back with 6 cartons of milk," hey honey, they had avocados".

A man told his wife he was going to the supermarket.

Man: I'm going to get get a carton of milk.

Wife: Okay, if you see bananas, get 6.

The man comes home with 6 cartons of milk.

Wife: What the hell!!! Why did you bring 6 cartons of milk!

Man: I saw bananas at the supermarket.

This will give 1 or 2% a chuckle...

Two milk cartons and a bottle of creamer were discussing an issue:

Whole: I think we’ve covered the Whole thing.

Skim: Really? We just Skimmed over it.

Creamer: I would normally side with Whole on this point, but I’m actually Half and Half.

I heard that milk helps babies grow but I don't think it's true

I've poured three cartons over mine and all it's done so far is cry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cake day

Every morning, at precisely 7:00 AM, my neighbor knocks upon my door, looking to borrow some milk. And every morning, I cheerfully greet him and oblige. At the end of the week my neighbor brings me a new bottle of milk to replace the milk he has consumed. Then for the next week, I give him milk f...

And old man..

..watched his grandson go to the store with a dollar and come back with only a bottle of water and shook his head. He said, "Back in my day, my mother would send me to the store with a dollar and I'd come back with half a dozen eggs, two cartons of milk, a pack of cigs, and a bag of flour. You can't...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was getting ready for a dinner-date with a stunning blonde.

He looked at the mirror and thought: "I should get some color! I know a safe place to get a tan on my roof."


It was blazing hot that day; he went to the roof, undressed, and decided to tan for 30 minutes.


Unfortunately, he fell asleep; and when he woke up, he was badly burned ...

A guy's working as a cashier at Best Buy

He finds his job a little dull, but from where he's stationed he can see out to store entrance to the parking lot (and more importantly, the sky) outside. He spends a lot of time looking out the store entrance and daydreaming, but one day he notices a blond woman walk up to the store with a bunch of...

I saw a man at the grocery store flinging slices of American cheese into the air.

He then started chugging cartons of milk right off the shelf.

After that he started smashing containers of yogurt open on his forehead.

It was shocking. All I could think was “how dare he!”

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