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Matzo Jokes

Tax time at the Synagogue...

The Internal Revenue sends their auditor to audit a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes," answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.
"A good question...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park..

He sat down on a bench and began eating.

After a few minutes, a blind man came by and sat down next to him.

Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man.

The blind man ran his fingers over the matzo for a few seconds, looked puzzled, and finally ...

Three construction workers take their lunch break together on the high steel

The first guy is Italian. He opens up his lunch box and says "Momma mia, spaghetti and meatballs again. If I get this one more time, I'm gonna jump off."
The second guy is Jewish. He opens up his lunchbox and says "Oy vay, matzo ball soup again. If I get one this more time, I'm gonna jump off.” ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If someone can make good matzo don’t mess with them.

They’re an expert at Jew dough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a scientist had a brilliant idea

He thought to himself, "People are so preoccupied with talking animals, why don't i make the first ever talking food!". This was a momentous idea that he just had, and he thought it best to experiment on his favourite food item: Matzo balls.

The scientist made a matzo ball, and after much tri...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Jew with a pH lower than 7?

....hasidic

I'll let myself out now. I know that was matzo good...

A man is an aircraft engineer for the army.

However, he is having some trouble with planes. Whenever a plane flies too high or too fast in the sky, the wings will break of the plane. One day, the Engineer decides to go to the park. He sits down on a bench with a rabbi. He tells the rabbi about how his planes’ wings always fall off. The rabbi ...

A priest and a rabbi are friends . . .

And the priest is always talking to the rabbi about how great ham sandwiches are, and how he's totally missing out by not being able to eat them. Every time they have lunch together, he orders a ham sandwich, and spends the entire meal raving about how salty and savory and delicious it is. Any time...

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