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Dolls Jokes

Why don’t they have pregnant Barbie dolls?

Because Ken came in a separate box.

Russian dolls.

They are so full of themselves.

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People who buy sex dolls...

....are fucking dummies.

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The madam tell her girls ' Just give those guys blow-up dolls.'

'They're so wasted they'll never know the difference'

After when they're walking home the first guy says 'I think mine was dead; She never moved or made a sound the whole time'

The second says 'I think Mine was a witch'

First: 'really whys that?'

Second: ''cause when i bi...

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There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom.

There was a little girl who really loved dolls. She had a big collection of them in her bedroom. One day, while she was browsing through a shop on her own, she spotted a really beautiful doll. It would make a perfect addition to her collection. She only hoped she had enough money to buy it.

“...

I lost $5 million dollars investing in a bogus company that claimed to be planning to produce life like/sized Henry Winkler dolls.

It was a Fonzie scheme.

It turns out Alanis Morisette has a huge collection of Pennywise dolls

Who would have thought?
IT figures

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These three drunk guys decide to go to the brothel. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms

These three drunk guys decide to go to the brothel. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn the lights out. The guys are so drunk the won't know the difference.

30 minutes later the fellas are back out on the street. The first dru...

I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are?

and he replied, “Aisle B, back."

Elsa dolls outsell Anna dolls in every country in the world, except Italy

because when Italians ask their kids which doll they want, they say “You wanta Anna or Elsa!”

(real-life joke) My 5-year-old daughter and I were playing with her dolls...

Having a great time cooking a great meal in imagination-land (toy room) when things got real.

Daughter - "Hey Dad, Let's throw the old food in the field to feed the animals."

Me - "Good idea, that would be nice so they get some food too."

Daughter - *throws a few pieces of fake...

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Two drunk men walked in to a brothels m (NSFW)

Two piss-drunk men visited a brothel. The madam takes a look at them and tells her manager: Go and put inflatable dolls in their bedrooms. These guys are too drunk to notice.

After finishing their act, on their way back.........
1st drunk: I think my girl was dead as she never made a noi...

Three crocheted dolls

Herb was tidying up the attic when he came across a box that he didn’t recognise.

He opened it up and found three crocheted dolls in it, lying on what looks like several hundred dollars of cash in small bills.

He takes the box down and asks Ruby, his wife of 47 years, whether she knows...

I work in a toy factory where dracula dolls are produced...

I only have one colleague at the production line so I have to make every second count.

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Blow-up dolls

I went to my local sex shop last night to get a new blow-up doll. As I was looking at them the clerk came up to me and asked if I needed help? 


I said yes and he asked if I wanted a male or female? 


I said a female and he asked blonde or brunette? 


I said blonde. The...

Heard this at a wedding

A woman and her husband had been married for 60 years and had remained faithful and loving this entire time. However, the woman did have one secret; a shoebox in her closet. The shoebox itself was not a secret, but the wife had told the husband that he was never to open or ask about the box, so the...

Guy was giving away free marionette dolls.

No strings attached.

Why aren’t Barbie dolls made of plastic anymore

Because the Kardashian’s took it all

What do you call a guy who gets turned on by Pinocchio dolls?

A Gepettophile.

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Two little girls play in a park with their dolls.

Two little girls play in a park with their dolls. One of the two little girls says to her friend: "Where did you buy your doll?"
The friend replies: "At Walmart, mom got it for 200 dollars; and you?"
The first responds: "Mum got it for 300 dollars at Target".
They then see a lady pass by wi...

It's fairly normal if you talk to your dolls and toys.

It's totally not if they talk back.

Did you hear the joke about the Russian Dolls?

You probably won't get it. It's an inside joke.

Lady GaGa and the GooGoo Dolls are coming out with a children's album.

It's called GooGooGaGa

What do you call a dog that manipulates dolls?

A puppyteer

Used one of the kids dolls to play snooker

It's now a Barbie-cue

Sure, they're popular, but I don't like Russian dolls.

They're always so full of themselves, which I think is a pretty unattractive trait.

Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women...

For example, I found out Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.

Why do barbie dolls have purple nips?

Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...

What do you call a line up of dolls?

A Barbie Queue

Why do blow up dolls cost so damn much?

Inflation.

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Did you hear about the plan to use sex dolls to defeat ISIS?

They blow themselves up.

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I hear that Tiger Woods carries two sex dolls with him on a golf course...

...just in case he gets a hole in one.

It was going great with my girlfriend until she started putting her Sylvester Stallone dolls in the middle of the bed.

Things have been a little Rocky between us ever since.

Why all Tickle me Elmo dolls are male.

They all get two test tickles before they leave the factory.

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My doctor gave me 6 months, so I shot him.

## The judge gave me 60 years!


 

 

 


### My (other) favorite one liners:

1. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

1. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.

1. French tanks have five rever...

What did the Matryoshka dolls say to the bottle of Vodka when it gave it a kiss?

I feel like we are Russian things.

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