I was watching a show about Ancient Egypt, and they mentioned that there were Seven Sacred Oils that they used to anoint the dead with.
I thought that sounded interesting, so I decided to Google "Seven Sacred Oils of Egypt" and the entire front page of results is about where I can buy the essential oils the Egyptians used, you know mlm shit.
I cannot stress enough how this is not what I was looking for, but in hindsight I p...
Ancient Egypt must have been super progressive
I mean, all their daddies ended up turning into mummies.
My kid's doing his masters' thesis on ancient Egypt plumbing design
He's a Pharaoh faucet major
Who ate all the noodles in ancient egypt?
Back in ancient Egypt, the standardized units of measurements were based off the length of the current pharoah's body parts. The pointer finger would be one unit of measurement, the forearm another, and so on.
It could be noted, the pharoah was the ruler.
Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt
People write on walls, use emojis, and worship cats.
'One day, in ancient Egypt, Bastet went to her temple for a meal, but found that her priests were late.'
'She was quite annoyed, but they had served her well for many years, so when one of her priests arrived, she gave him the opportunity to explain himself.
'"Oh, great Bastet, please show mercy on us, your humble servants! A stranger with a strange god has come and is making demands of the Pha...
Why did the financial system collapse in ancient Egypt?
My friend Victor is a historian
He invited me to a party at his house and started introducing me to all his colleagues. “This is Victor, he’s a historian of the renaissance. The guy next to him is Victor Jr, he’s a historian of ancient Egypt. And those two guys over there are Victor and Victor, they are doing great work on Mes...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Little Tut is having a Hieroglyphics class in Ancient Egypt.
The teacher dictates: "Our Pharaoh, King of the Kings, Son of Ra, strong as a crocodile and manly as.." And Tut, from the back of the class, asks: -How many balls is "manly" spelled with?
A scientist has made the greatest breakthrough in human history by discovering how to time travel...
..and after global fame and months of planning how to communicate, how to introduce his people and what to bring he and his assistant time travel back to Ancient Egypt as an ambassador to a famous queen. His visit is able to be broadcasted live to the present in front of billions and Egyptians from ...
What was old is new
A man living in ancient Egypt had a great idea for a business: he would pay couriers to deliver messages professionally inscribed on stone slabs to people all over the kingdom. For a small fee, people could have an important message written down and sent anywhere on the Nile. It swiftly took off a...
CUT TO THE PAST
Ian is a barber and one day after servicing a haircut, a customer instead of money, gives him a crystal sphere and Ian, not wanting to argue and liking the sphere, accepts it.
He presses the Sphere and to his bewilderment, he's transported to ancient Egypt with all the scissor and blades. ...
A new discovery is made pertaining to the ethnicity of Ancient Egyptian Kings
Archaeologists have discovered that the kings of Ancient Egypt were in fact black. Upon unwrapping the gold sarcophagus they found the body of a dark chocolate skinned man. The legendary Pharaoh Rocher.
Mike Tyson in Egypt
So mike Tyson is vacation in Egypt. He is having a great time but slowly begins to run out of things to do. A few days go by and he even grows tired of gawking at the pyramids. He’s searching for something to do! He heads to his local marketplace. There he finds a book on ancient Egyptian hieroglyph...