What does Barbie do on Halloween?

Pumpken

Why did Barbie smell like fish?

Because Australians like throwing shrimp on her.

Did you hear there’s a new Divorce Barbie?

It comes with all of Ken’s accessories.

Barbies promote unrealistic expectations of women’s bodies.

Women’s heads are much harder to put back on in real life.

What do you call Barbie underwater?

Doll Fin.

A little girl was in a store to buy a Barbie doll for her birthday.

The shop owner said to her as a special treat you can choose another doll as well, Little girl says, can I have a GI Joe, shop owner says I thought Barbie came with Ken?, Little girl says no she comes with GI Joe, she fakes it with Ken.

Why does Barbie never get pregnant?

Why does Barbie never get pregnant?

Because Ken ‘comes’ in another box.

Does Barbie come with Ken?

No, she fakes it with Ken. Barbie only comes with GI Joe.

What do you get when you cross Barbie with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A doll with a yeast infection.

What do you call it when a barbie toy is in a line for a grill?

A barbie-que

The only conspiracy theory I believe in is the one about Barbie's boyfriend disappearing in the woods

Kentrails

Why aren’t Barbie dolls made of plastic anymore

Because the Kardashian’s took it all

What do you call...

...a lineup of dolls waiting to take turns being grilled over an open fire?



a Barbie queue

See the new "recently divorced" Barbie doll you can now get?

She comes with Ken's Corvette.

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Because Ken came in another box.

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father on his way home suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the salesperson, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shoppi...

Why do barbie dolls have purple nips?

Because GI Joes have kung fu grips ...

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?

In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks...

John was returning from work when he remembered that today was his daughter's birthday...

There was still time so he decided to quickly drive and buy a gift for her.
He went to the local supermarket and headed straight to the toys section in search of a toy his daughter would cherish.

He found employee there and asked his advise on which Barbie doll would make the best gift. ...

When Barbie call Ken his bro

Ken was broken.

I was surprised to find that "Trailer Park Barbie" doesn't come with bruising on her body

Then I realized battery not included

What kind of a cue would Barbie use if she played pool?

A barbeque.

Did you know they make a divorcee Barbie now?

She comes with all of Ken's stuff.

What do you call a Barbie on fire?

A Barbecue!







Be gentle. First post. And I remember making this up on a long car ride when I was just 4:)

911 - A Parody Of Jingle Bells

Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis


Over the hills we go, crashing into trees!


The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead,


I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh!


9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead!


...

Question: What are doldrums ?

Answer: Barbie's bongos

Have you heard of divorced barbie? Her set costs $450.

...mostly because it comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and one of Ken's friends.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Barbie is cancelled.

In light of the recent events in Korea, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag fact...

Whats a line of Barbies called?

A barbiequeue

In a progressive move, Mattel is making a new boyfriend for Barbie who's a homeless man from New Jersey

Hobo Ken.

Why does Barbie like Halloween?

It's pump-ken time

What does Barbie like to do on hallowe'en?

Pump ken

I chucked out my daughter's Barbies because I was bored of her playing with them all the time.

Now there's never a doll moment.

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line?

A barbie queue (BBQ)!
Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad.
http://imgur.com/gallery/he4epJo/

I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.

Mattel released a Muslim Barbie...

It's a blow-up doll.

The test

Students in a design school were doing the final test. The assingment was to design some piece of furniture. They started. Someone was designing a couch, someone a bed, but one student was drawing a bunch of dolls in a strait line. The proffesor was surprised and he asked the student if he knew what...

What do cannibals call it when they are roasting a blonde for dinner?

A Barbie Q.

Did you hear about the 3 new types of Barbie dolls?

There's tall, short, and great personality

(Since bad pickup lines seem to be the trend right now) Do you want to play barbies?

I'll be Ken, and you be the box he came in

Barbie and G.I. Joe. [NSFW]

A little girl sits on Santa's lap. In a jolly manner, Santa asks "What would you like for Christmas?"

The girl replies without hesitation:"I would like a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa sits for a moment, thinking about the request. Caught off guard, he says "But little girl, Barbie come...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a lot of pressure for guys to have elaborate ways to ask their date to prom. One boy recently dressed up like Barbie's boyfriend Ken...

His girlfriend said why did you cut your dick off.

A man goes to a toy store

A man goes to a toy store to buy a barbie doll for his daughter and asks the clerk what do barbies cost.

The clerk answers that the shopper barbie is 24,90, beach barbie 24,90, space barbie 29,90 and the divorce barbie is 199,90.

The confused man asks the clerk why the divorce barbie i...

My sister and her husband just split up, so I got my 8 year old niece the new "Divorce Barbie"

She comes with half of Ken's stuff.

In the interest of of trying to make the classic doll more realistic, and easier for children to identify with, a new version is about to be released called "Divorced Barbie"

She comes with all of Ken's stuff too.

If there was a hooker named Barbie ...

And she was really good at her job, would the line outside her apartment be called the Barbie queue?

What does Barbie say when the drought finally ends?

It's raining Ken, hallelujah....

_

A dutch joke. Don't know if other languages know this one as well.

Jantje was at school. The teacher asked the class "i want you all to think how you think you can put an elephant in the fridge"

Jantje thinks by himself "but that's impossible to do. Lets ask my family if they know a so...

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