I started a job making plastic Dracula figurines but there’s only two of us in the production line.

I have to make every second Count.

I make wooden figurines for a living, which has proved to be a very good business.

I get a lot of requests to make animals, as they can be used to decorate at all times of the year. I’ve recently been working on a variety of birds for the spring season, because it’s never too early to start working ahead.
I often make a few mistakes when making animals because of the long hour...

What do you call a murder over a set of porcelain figurines in the middle of a rice field?

A knick-knack-paddy-wack

(100% stolen from somewhere, I still think it's funny)

If I buy a Prius, I’ll make sure to put a bobblehead Yoda figurine on the dash

Then I’ll have a toy Yoda in my Toyota.

When I told my ex girlfriend that I wanted to break up, she tried gifting me a mini plastic figurine of myself in an attempt to salvage our relationship.

I screamed, "Lego of me!"

I started a figurine company that specializes in miniature Muhammad statues

We make a small prophet.

I saw an advert for a Michael Jackson figurine, and at the end of the advert it said...

...not suitable for children, colours may vary.

A father had a very rowdy son

He would never listen to his father, always disobeying rules, and being rebellious at every chance. The father often told the boy, "You should be more respectful of others", to no avail as his words fell on deaf ears. His pranks were, quite frankly, annoying to the neighbours, but what did the son c...

I can't stop making figurines of Frodo

It's hobbit forming.

'The victim was beaten with a porcelain angel figurine, suspect confirmed to be an Irishman'

'I guess you could say he was Knick-Knack Paddy Whacked.'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I'm dyslexic, and I just watched The Hobbit.

I loved the movie so much, I decided to start collecting plastic figurines of all the characters, after many months, I only needed Bilbo, so I ordered him online. There wasn't a picture, but it was a really good price. I think it was so cheap because it said used. But I didn't mind.

So, basi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A frog walks into a bank to apply for a loan

He addresses the teller by the name on her name badge and says "excuse me, Ms. Whack. I need a loan."

She says "Holy shit, a talking frog!"

"Actually my name is Kermit. And I need a loan."

"You're Kermit the frog?"

"No but I was named after him. My dad is Mick Jagger. He...

A frog walks into a bank.

The frog hops up on the counter of the nearest available teller and says "I want a loan."

Confused, the teller asks for the frog's name.

"My name is Kermit Jagger, son of Rolling Stone's legend Mick Jagger, and I want a loan" he says. "And what is **YOUR** name?"

"My name is Pat...

A guy passes a store selling cheap trinkets from around the world

A small figurine in the window catches his eye. It's a little rabbit with a mallet getting ready to hit some mochi. The man recognises this as the rabbit in the moon from the story and decides he really likes it. He goes inside and asks the sales clerk about the price.

Upon hearing the price,...

Do you want to know how i got these Scars?

Joker asked Batman as he showed him his Lion king figurine collection.

Police were called to the scene of a murder

A man escaped a mental hospital and stole some porcelain figurines. Later that night he snuck into a farmers field and used them to beat a cow to death with them.

It was the first documented case of a nic-nac patty wack

A Frog Walks Into A Bank

and approaches the teller who's name is John Paddywack.

"I would like to take out a loan for $100,000" the frog declares.

Mr. Paddywack looks at the frog and says "Since you don't have any credit with this bank you'll need a cosigner."

"No Problem" says the frog "My father is ...

Kermit Jagger needs a loan.

Kermit Jagger needed to take out a large loan, so he went to his bank and met with a banker named Patricia Wack.

Patricia asked, "Do you have something you can offer as collateral?" Kermit responded by placing a little porcelain figurine on the desk. Patricia was not impressed, but she went ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A frog walks into a bank

A frog is looking to open up a new business, so he stops by his local bank to see about financing. His loan officer, Mrs. Paddywhack, is going through his financials.
"Do you have any collateral?" she asks. "We can't give you any money without something to secure the loan."
The frog pulls ...

So there's this boy who loves tractors

He lived on a farm, and watched the tractors drive by all day. He subscribed to tractor magazines, collected tractor figurines, had loads of tractor posters on his wall and even had some DVDs of tractor documentaries. He lived his whole childhood loving tractors.
On his 17th birthday, his dad sa...

Police are investigating a murder...

Local police have launched a murder investigation after a body was found in a rice field yesterday. It appears that the victim was killed at that location with a small stone figurine. Police are not yet releasing the victim's name, but they say this seems to be the county's first ever case of a knic...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.