What did Captain Picard say to the quilting machine repairman?

Make it sew.

Did you hear about the guy that quit his job at a quilt filling factory?

He said he was fed up of feeling down...

I want to say comforters are superior to quilts

But I don’t like to make blanket statements.

My friend told me he holds a world record in quilt making

I suspect his whole story is fabricated.

Have you ever heard of the lady who was accused of being the infamous Quilted Killer?

She's innocent until proven quilty.

For my teacher who used to tell this one....

Two traveling salesmen were riding together across West Texas when their car began to sputter and cough. Soon, it died completely and they were stranded on the side of a state highway with little traffic.

Fortunately, a pick up truck pulled over to help. The driver was a comely middle aged wo...

Who Came First

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on it's face.

The egg, looking very hacked off, grabs the quilt, rolls over and says, "Well, we finally answered THAT question!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fresh off the boat Indian immigrant goes to Wallmart to buy some toilet paper

Arriving to the store, he walks to an employee and tells him "Hello sir, I have recently arrived in America with just the shirt on my back and not so much money. I need to buy toilet paper but I can't afford luxuries".

The employee replies "Well listen here friend, I have this ExtraSoft for $...

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