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Mannequin Jokes

I took my mannequin to the shop to have some parts replaced...

They charged me an arm and a leg!

I just bumped into a mannequin and said sorry. Then I said "Oh I thought you were a person".

Then I realized I was still talking to a mannequin...

My wife is a one-legged mannequin

I just can't stand her.

[StarWars] What Do You Get When You Cross a Jedi and a Mannequin?

**Manakin Skywalker**

I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend.

Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.

What do you call naked mannequin falling out of a window?

An obscene clone fall.

I used to go into shopping centres and rotate the body parts of the mannequins...

I don't think everyone noticed, but I certainly turned a few heads.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where do the Japanese store defective mannequin feet?

In bent-toe boxes.

A cargo ship carrying a shipment of mannequins sunk to the ocean floor

It was one thousand legs under the sea.

A uniform company sent President Trump a dressed mannequin with no legs.

They heard Trump had issues with people taking the knees.

I was working for my local Veterans museum the other day...

They hired us to move a bunch of heavy cabinets filled with old war memorabilia from one building to another. Letter/postcards from soldiers, antique tools/weapons, mannequins in uniforms, etc.

We were just about done, with one cabinet left: a large, glass display case, filled with mannequin...

Do you ever look at a mannequin and think,

Her head looks a bit off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the store manager say to the mannequin that had one leg shorter than the other?

"I can't fucking stand you."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] What's the difference between a sex doll and a store mannequin?

Persistence.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) My wife was doing the mannequin challenge way before it got popular.

She only does it when we have sex though.

They put a model of young Darth Vader in the wax museum…

…actually it was Mannequin Skywalker.

A journalist was tasked to interview the best costume maker in the world...

So the journalist asked for an appointment with the costume maker, and luckily, he accepted.

Now this costume maker might be famous, but no one but himself and a few people know his real name. His identity was shrouded in mystery. The name he goes by is Mr. D.D., which are his initials. The j...

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A kid goes to the shops with his mum...

A kid goes to the shops with his mum.  He has always wondered about the female anatomy,  so he peers under the skirt of a mannequin. But unfortunately,  his mum sees him doing it.  


Whack! She smacks him over the head.  


"What are you doing,  you dirty little boy? There's nothi...

If Darth Vader said "Nothing's gonna stop us now" instead of "There will be no one to stop us this time..."

Would that make him Mannequin Skywalker?

Hey, did you hear about the blonde girl who choked on a piece of plastic?

She said that mannequin was one smooth talker.

What does a Russian fashion designer call people from the United States?

A mannequin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was walking through the mall...

I was walking through the mall, when I noticed this mannequin giving me a filthy look. I went over and decked the cunt and said "Fucking poser"

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A little boy goes shopping with his mom and is waiting outside the changing room for her to come out.

While waiting, the little boy gets bored and as his mom comes out sees him sliding his hand up a mannequins skirt. "Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?"

The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn't ge...

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Destination Pittsburgh

Three priests were heading to Pittsburgh. The youngest priest, knowing he was most connected to the secular world, offered to get the tickets.

Upon arriving at the counter, the noticed the cashier was wearing a low low top and a short short skirt. His heart fluttered a moment...

“Yes ...

The people of Pompeii...

Mannequin challenge champions since 79 AD.

A rookie comedian asks an experienced comedian how he manages to cater his jokes toward his audience.

The comedian gives the newcomer a slip of paper with a website url. “This is a forum for comedians where they trade jokes. It’s perfect to find the right joke for the right occasion.”

So just before his first gig at a tailors convention, he looks up “jokes for tailors” on the forum. He manage...

Elon Musk takes out a loan

The year is 2020.


Elon musk walks into a bank in London and asks for the loan officer. He says says he is going to space on a business trip for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.

The loans officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so Elon Musk ...

One of my favorites

A little boy and his mother are in a department store shopping one afternoon. The mother decides to try some clothes on and tells her son to wait outside the changing room for her. A few minutes later she walks out to find her son has his hand up the dress of a mannequin in the store. She quickly...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am truly perplexed that so many people are against mosques being built.

I think it should be the goal of every Western Society to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus mosques should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from w...

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