UPJOKE
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Disagreed Jokes

I was told I didn't need to narrate every time I make gravy and I disagreed.

The plot thickens.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite Norm Macdonald joke

(I’m paraphrasing a bit)

Someone told me that the worst thing about the whole Cosby thing was the hypocrisy. I disagreed.

I thought it was the raping.


—————-
RIP you magnificent bastard.

(Edit: formatting)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex-wife tried to humiliate me by telling all her friends that I had a micro dick...

She was in for a shock, when they all disagreed.

My co-worker disagreed when I said Median is the best average

He's a mean person!

I ate something that disagreed with me...

But I married her anyway.

I wanted to name my soon to be born son Lance. My wife disagreed. She said Lance is too dated a name. I replied that since medieval times people have being called

Lance a lot.

My teacher told me a current carrying conductor produces a magmetic field. I disagreed.

Teacher said, "I am the teacher."

I said, "I don't give a flux."

My friend said I was bad at spelling. I disagreed, so he challenged me to a spelling bee.

I excepted.

My ex gf wanted to embarrass me, and attempted to do so by loudly proclaiming in front of her friends how bad I was in bed.

You should have seen the look on her face when they all disagreed.

Why did the Cannibal logician get a stomach ache?

Someone he ate disagreed with him.

Austrian humor

*One time back in the 1980s when I was living in Austria, a bunch of us went out for a beer. During the chit-chat, an American friend of mine named Margie insisted that Austrian jokes weren't funny. Her (Austrian) boyfriend Werner disagreed. Margie said, "Well, tell that mouse joke of yours." Werner...

Amber Heard just fired her interior decorator...

They disagreed about the color and placement of the stool in the bedroom.

A pair of hunters went moose hunting and chartered a small plane to carry them.

At the end of the day, they had bagged six moose and were abou to load them in the plane.

The pilot disagreed with them, saying the plane could only take four safely.

The hunters argued, saying that last year, the pilot had allowed them to carry all six onboard on the same plane.
...

I had a heated discussion with an art historian yesterday

We disagreed on whether I ordered curly fries or mozzarella sticks with my burger

My wife and I had a huge argument when she said Jim Morrison was overrated

I disagreed and she stormed out, I hate it when she slams the doors

My Friend Told Me Twelve is a Significant Number.

I disagreed. I said it dozen't matter.

I always believed that we all have the habit of licking knifes clean after we are done with them

My surgeon friends disagreed

An man goes to the ER after swallowing a large magnet.

When asked why, he said, “Well, last night my wife said she just wasn’t attracted to me anymore. I was planning a big surprise tonight when her belly piercing disagreed with her.”

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