I went to a dance with one girl and came home with another- and there’s still resentment all these years later...

I said- “C’mon, Honey, there’ll be other, Daddy/Daughter dances!”

A couple are having marital difficulties,

...and the wife suggests they see a marriage counsellor.

At their first session the counsellor asks the couple to explain to each other how they feel about their marriage.

The wife says: “We are at a crossroads. To the left is bitterness, resentment, divorce and a life of unha...

I really resent gravity

It's held me down my whole life.

My teenage son told me I am a resentful has-been. We had a good, hearty laugh together about that.

Then i changed the WIFI password

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wins the lottery

He goes to the bank to open a bank account so he can keep his money safe. He sees this lovely cashier lady, approaches her and says: "I fucking want to open a shitty account in this lame ass bank."

Cashier lady resents that and pretends that she didn't understand what he was saying and asks h...

A long time ago, on the Island of Tridia,

A group of peculiar people dwelled in peace. They were a small, peace-loving group of individuals. They were peculiar for several reasons: they were all extremely short, the tallest of them coming to a whopping meter in height; they were zealously religious, but they had no particular religion; and ...

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A guy walks into a bar, gets a drink and yells: lawyers are assholes!

A guy down the bar says, hey I heard that and I resent it. The first guy says, are you a lawyer? And the second guy says
No, I'm an asshole!

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The Amazing non-Antisemitic Joke About the Rich Jew

This is a long joke.

There were two Jew friends: one of them was rich, and he lived in the city; the other one was poor, and he lived in a village. At one point, the poor Jew happened to visit the rich Jew in the city.

The rich Jew invited the poor Jew to the opera, to theaters, and to...

Let me introduce the little known tale of Curtis Remond.

Curtis was born in the small town of New York, the only child of a rich and famous banking family. Curtis’ father was a banker. Curtis’ grandfather was a banker. The banking linage runs as far back in the family as time can remember, ever since Gerald Redmond had emigrated from Killarney back in the...

A kid doesn’t finish his dinner, so his father takes away his Xbox as punishment.

Throughout the next day, the kid stomps around the house, obviously angry with his father. Eventually, the mother starts casting resentful looks at her husband. He asks, “What’s up with you?” She replies:

“Will you please just give him his Xbox back? The kid’s inconsolable.”

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The Thumb King

Once upon a time, there was a Land of Fingers. Everyone who lived in the Land of Fingers was, appropriately enough, a Finger. All the Fingers, from mighty Index to cute little Pinky lived together in peace and harmony. Then one day came Thumb. Thumb was like the Fingers, but different. Shorter, stur...

A king, a businessman and a network admin in hell.

A king, a businessman and a network admin meet the devil at the gates to hell.
- You can make one phone call, but you'd have to pay for it, - says the devil.
The king makes his call, asks who's the new ruler of the kingdom, was quickly assured that everything is fine, hangs the phone with ...

Let me know what you think of my 2nd attempt!

A young boy decided that he wanted to become a beekeeper when he grew up. When he told his parents this they decided it would be a great chance to teach him responsibility and give him a chance to earn his own spending money. So they bought him a small colony of bees and the tools he would need to t...

I was taught to forgive but never forget

So now I walk around full of resentment and suspicion but don't remember why.





I think I'm doing it wrong.

Confession booth

A man sat in the confession booth in church and said : “Forgive me, my Father, for I have sinned !”
“What have you done my son ?” The priest asked.
“I had a Promiscuous dream !! I dreamt that I the touched the breast of Kim...”
Silence prevailed for a moment, followed by the noise of the pr...

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A cocky young fellow walks into a quiet neighborhood pub on a rainy night...

and takes a seat next to an old man at the bar, who's by himself. "How's the field in here, grandpa?" he says, half joking.

"Sonnn, yerr waaastin' yerr time if ya think yyerrr goin' home with one'a these gooooody two-shoes!" the old man replies. He's getting drunk by the looks of it. ...

Santa was working

And year after year, his workshop got expensive, so he started phasing out the elves with trolls. The trolls were larger and not quite as smart, but they were way cheaper and about 75% as effective. Santa didn't fire any elves, but as they got old and retired, he replaced them with trolls. Over the ...

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Tommy goes to the doctor complaining about increased appetite and insatiable hunger.

The doctor asks for the symptoms and diagnoses that he has tapeworms. The doctor prescribes medication and asks to meet him in a week. Tommy comes back and says that it was ineffective and that he still feels hungry all the time.

The doctor prescribes new stronger medicine but even then T...

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A frustrated man who's being sued goes to the bar...

He walks in, and amidst his frustration, he exclaims, "Lawyers are such assholes!"

Another person shouts out, "Hey! I resent that statement!"

The man responds, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

The guy says, "No! I'm an asshole!"

The Fruit Revolution

So humanity progresses enough in technology to create super genetically modified fruit. These fruit are ten times larger than their natural counterparts and contain fifty times the nutrition. Obviously, this becomes a great success and scientists continue to make and improve the genetically modified...

Lot's Wife

We've all heard the story. No one can blame her if she felt any resentment. Some say, after all these years, she's still pretty salty about it.

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