I hate guys who are too overconfident..

I really do.

Edit: Thanks for the silver!

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

Edit: Thanks for the platinum!

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint

You have to say

Leroy, please paint that wall

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do blind people hate skydiving?

Because it scares the shit out of their dogs.

What drink does the Joker hate?


I hate it when people don't know the difference between your and you're.

There so stupid

I was asked if I would accept $100,000 if it meant that the person I hated the most got $200,000.

I said "Sure. Why wouldn't I want $300,000?"

I hate Russian dolls

They’re so full of themselves

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do I hate going to church?

I hate all the sitting kneeling and standing. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me

I hate people who take drugs!

For example : Airport Security.

My friend told me he hated blue cheese because it's literally just cheese with bacteria.

I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.

I heard that a good way to let go of anger is to write letters to people you hate and then to burn them.

It really helps a lot. Now I just need to figure out what to do with all these letters.

I hate being cooked alive.

It makes my blood boil.

I hate how people make jokes about 9/11 my dad died

He was a good pilot

Why did the archaeologist hate his life?

His career was in ruins.

I hate spiders when they eat flies

They are such buzz kills

Why did the guy hate his job at the can crushing factory?

It was soda pressing.

My wife hates it when our next door neighbor sunbathes topless in her yard.

Personally I’m on the fence.

There are only 3 things I hate:

1. Irony
2. Unfinished lists

I hate when people ask me where I see myself next year

I don't have 2020 vision


Say it with me!


I hate when revolving doors move too fast

It's a pane in the ass

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be "saved" or else you'll "burn"

Stupid Firemen

My wife really hates that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed my things and right.

They say Hillary Clinton is a criminal, a sore loser, and a traitor who hates America

Guess that means she deserves an extra big statue.

Why do people hate repost on this site?

Cause they’ve already reddit!

I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am

I'm not really a mourning person.

I hate these double standards

if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate the myth that men will fuck anything with a heartbeat...

I've fucked inanimate objects too!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Does anyone else hate it when a girl pulls the “I have a boyfriend” line on you when you aren’t even remotely interested in her?

...My wife really acts fucking strange sometimes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate shower sex...

This drain hurts my dick I need a girlfriend

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and it settles on their land.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate gays

They are never straightforward

I don't get all this hate and sarcasm against the cybertruck.

Slap a minigun on its back, and it's Halo irl.

Why do Jehovah Witness’s hate Halloween?

They don’t like random people knocking on their door.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist told me to write letters to people I hate, then burn them

Ok, done with the writing and the burning. Wtf am I supposed to do with the bunch of letters, though?

Y'all probably will hate me for this. Spoiler alert for Frozen II.

In the first movie Anna was Frozen

Now in the second movie Elsa is frozen too (Frozen 2)

I'm sorry I shall take my leave

Q.What to do when people hate you for no reason?

Ans: punch them in the face.....now they will hate you for a reason.........better right?

I absolutely hate screening films for the Grasshopper Film Festival

Everybody's a cricket.

Why do thieves hate rastas?

They dread locks

My mother hates every girlfriend that I’ve ever brought home. So I brought home a girl that looks like my mother, acts like my mother, even sounds like my mom

Now my father hates her.

I hate to say this about cone earthers...

but they have a point.

I hate giving money to Charity

It's bad enough I lost half my stuff, but paying her alimony aswell is ridiculous.

I hate it when someone doesn’t know difference between to and too

Its just two annoying.

Man I hate comic books

They have too many issues

I hate it when you sincerely compliment someone's moustache

And then suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

I don't hate my wife's relatives.

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives.
I replied, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.”

I was talking to this guy about how I hate geometry. You know what he said to me.

You just have to look at it from a different angle.

I hate when people say I can’t multitask.

I always have to stop what i’m doing to get angry.

As a child I hated going to weddings.

All the old aunts would grab my cheek and whisper in a conspiring voice "You're next."

They only stopped saying it when I began doing the same to them at funerals.

Wife : I hate that beggar.

Wife: I hate that beggar

Husband: Why?

Wife: I brought that rascal some food yesterday. Today, he gave me a book

Husband: What's wrong with that?

Wife: It was "Cooking for Dummies"

P.S - I Edit this joke. Thanks to Pewp_taco to execute the joke perfectly.

I hate when people make fun of my Tourette syndrome

It really ticks me off

I hate redundancy

Unnecessary repetition really gets on my nerves

I hate how politically correct things are these days. You can't even say the word stupid without people getting offended.

I started to tell a Polish joke to a group of guys and one of them said "Hey, I'm Polish and that joke offends me!" Fair enough I thought, no one likes to be stereotyped. So I swapped out the word "Polish" for "stupid" and started the joke over. Same guy got offended.

I hate it when British people talk about the big pile of trash in the ocean.

They shouldn’t talk about their country like that.

I hate loan sharks.

Much better to just buy them outright.

I hate people who steal other people's post ideas...

I really do.

I hate being patronised

Patronised means they speak with a sense of superiority and are condescending

I wrote down a list of everyone I hate on a piece of paper and my roommate use it to roll his joint....

He's now high on the list of people I never want to see again


I hate it when guys call their girlfriends their "partner in crime".
Like we get it dude she's underage

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate when people say the f-word

Stop saying *"he used the f-word"* . Just say fuck , it's not that fucking hard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man says “I sure hate having to deal with my wife”

His wife: “What the fuck, I’m right here!”

The man: “No, I meant my other one”

I hate the sound of my washing machine.

Its so agitating!

My wife hates it.

When I introduce her as my ex-girl friend.

Why do the citizens of Athens hate waking up early?

Because Dawn is tough on Greece!

It seems like people either love or hate the new Tesla truck design...

It sure is a wedge issue!

Everyone thinks that Canadians hate Trump

It's Trudeau

I hate being bipolar...

It's great!

What would a cow say if she hated something?


i hate it whenever i try to be nice and hold a door open for people

and then they just scream and fly out of the plane, like, what the hell?

A man really hated his wife’s cat. One day, he put the cat in his car and took it to the end of the block and let it go. When he got home he saw that the cat had beat him home.

Undeterred, he put the cat in the car and took it a few miles across the city and tossed it out the car again. Upon returning home, he was astonished to see that the cat had beat him home again.

Determined at this point, the man took the cat and drove him across the city, over the river, thro...

I finally quit the job I hated and have decided to do what I love


I hate people with superiority complexes...

I’m just so much better than them.

I hate immigrants...

If i could find a country that didn't take immigrants in I'd move there...

I hate that it's already no nut November

I'm going to have to jack it a whole lot to keep my mind off of cashews...

I hate jokes about German sausages.

They’re the wurst.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was younger I hated going to weddings.

It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me: "You're next." They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Why do skeletons hate Halloween party’s?

They have no-body to dance with

Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?

Because they don't get them.

I hate family reunions....

I see too many of my ex’s there

Everyone who hates speeding tickets

Raise your right foot

Why do plants hate math?

It gives them square roots

I hate Gravity

It’s always bringing me down.

Why do conservative data analysts hate vertically joining datasets?

Because they're anti-union

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate autocorrect on my phone......

It just text my mate,

"Fancy going for a wank, down the canal?"

It was supposed to say river.

Why does Orange County hate r/jokes?

Because r/jokes doesn't appreciate OC.

I hate when you open up to someone and they leave.

I was explaining to my psychiatrist that I am having visual and auditory hallucinations, and then he just vanished.

Kid: “I hate daddy’s guts!”

Mom: “then eat around them.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate having sex while camping

It’s fucking in-tents

What do Mexican people hate in their drinks?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate being a urologist.

My patients are always a bunch of dicks.

What phrase is 5 words long, makes you a part of a secretly hated society, is as infective as a virus and stays in your memory forever, but is only mentioned on occasion?

“I just lost the game”

I always thought I hated sitting on cold toilet seats

Until I sat on a warm one

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions?

I do.

A list of two things people in wheelchairs hate:

Stand up comedy


Is it really wrong to hate a certain race?

I don't mind doing a 5k but a couple friends want to do a 10k and I don't like them.

Why do demons hate fitness?

They don't like being exorcised.

Scotish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve: “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing"...

"Forty-five years of misery is enough”, he continued.

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”...

I hate spelling errors...

You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I didn't realize how racist my family was until I brought my black girlfriend home for Thanksgiving dinner

My wife and kids HATED her!

Why do Christians hate butchers?

They don’t condone beating meat

What kind of ghost hates millenials?


Who was the most hated classical musician?


I used to hate school as a kid

My mother would always tell me: you should enjoy school. One day, you'll have to work for a living.

No I won't mom, I'm gonna be a comedian.

I thought I would hate starring in a bukkake film,

but those guys really rubbed off on me.

Dont you hate it when people get ahead of themselves?

Edit:Wow thanks for the gold kind strangerr

Why does Donald Trump hate the new Canadian government?

Because it’s a minority.

Every book is a coloring book if you hate librarians.

Credit: Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers round.

It gets her Snickers in a Twix.

What day of the week do potatoes hate the most?


I dislike people who constantly make Harry Potter references and I hate the use of malapropism for comedic effect but...

I’ll admit I’m a bit of a hippogryph sometimes.

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