UPJOKE
strifedisagreementdisagreeconfrontationdisaccordquarrelfeudsquabblemistrustdisunitydistrustanimositybitternessdiscontentunease

So I was on discord and this guy tells me

I have an 11 kill streak.

So I asked on which game

He said, no I don't play games, I'm a police officer.

How many Discord users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They prefer dark mode.

Not sure why Microsoft wants to buy Discord for $10 billion

When they could just download it for free

I made a discord account for my puppy

So he gets groomed for free

What is a discord moderator’s favorite musical chord?

A minor

My friends always ask me why I always stay invisible on Discord

I just reply that I love my GF and I always wanna be like her.

r/jokes has a discord and you need to join!

Over 20k members! Come see reposts in real time!

https://discord.gg/jokes

Bruh

I added my mom on discord and it said, one mutual server: P*rnHub Discord.

What social media platform do fetuses use?

discord

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old joke I read while searching for jokes on Discord with friends the other day. Not mine, but good regardless.

A businessman is getting ready to go on a long business trip across the country. He knows his wife is always getting horny, so he decides to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn’t much like the idea of her having sex with someone else.

So he went to a stor...

A chat server has been opened for world leaders to talk to one another,

and the world has fallen into chaos and Discord.

Once upon a time, in the magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song,...

My friend was testing his mic for Discord, I told him to get a Scope

So he wont have Troubleshooting

r/jokes has a discord and you need to join!

Because I am getting pretty dam sick of y'all agreeing with each others.

If there were a cord that insulted people...

It would be called a discord

What do you call a discord moderation bot?

Doesn't matter, hard to moderate discord

What's a bungee jumper's least favorite app?

Discord

A northern man goes on a date with a southern woman during his vacation to the south.

Southerner: What do you and your friends do in your free time?

Northerner: We love to play the well known game called Club Penguin. Our favorite activity is to spend hours together on the iceberg.

Southerner: I play Club Penguin too!



As the two people from different regi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A partisan joke for election day

Jacob, Jonah, and John aren't getting along very well in Heaven, and one day God gets tired of it and kicks them out. "I'm sick of you guys bickering. You don't appreciate the gifts I gave you. I want you guys to do something amazing. Work together and do something for the record books! As soon...

Do you know which app is best fit to be used in the delivery room?

Discord!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Discordian Enlightenment

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.

One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "Go to the dilapidated...

In the City of Loafington, there lived a superhero named Wonderbread.

Wonderbread was, predictably, a superhero with bread-themed powers. He could beat up a gang with a baguette, trap someone in a giant pita, or cushion someone's fall with swiftly-rising dough. He was beloved by all in the city, for his escapades had the lovely side-effect of feeding the entire city f...

I realized I am old.... I don't know what Discord is...

So I altavista'd it and apparently it's like ICQ..

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.