So I was on discord and this guy tells me

I have an 11 kill streak.

So I asked on which game

He said, no I don't play games, I'm a police officer.

How many Discord users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They prefer dark mode.

Not sure why Microsoft wants to buy Discord for $10 billion

When they could just download it for free

r/jokes has a discord and you need to join!

Over 17k members! Come see reposts in real time!

https://discord.gg/jokes

My friends always ask me why I always stay invisible on Discord

I just reply that I love my GF and I always wanna be like her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old joke I read while searching for jokes on Discord with friends the other day. Not mine, but good regardless.

A businessman is getting ready to go on a long business trip across the country. He knows his wife is always getting horny, so he decides to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn’t much like the idea of her having sex with someone else.

So he went to a stor...

My friend was testing his mic for Discord, I told him to get a Scope

So he wont have Troubleshooting

What do you call a discord moderation bot?

Doesn't matter, hard to moderate discord

Do you know which app is best fit to be used in the delivery room?

Discord!

What's a bungee jumper's least favorite app?

Discord

r/jokes has a discord and you need to join!

Because I am getting pretty dam sick of y'all agreeing with each others.

Circle

why did the shapes kicked circle out of their discord server?

Because circle was all edge, no point

Once upon a time, in a magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Discordian Enlightenment

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled.

One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "Go to the dilapidated...

If there were a cord that insulted people...

It would be called a discord

A northern man goes on a date with a southern woman during his vacation to the south.

Southerner: What do you and your friends do in your free time?

Northerner: We love to play the well known game called Club Penguin. Our favorite activity is to spend hours together on the iceberg.

Southerner: I play Club Penguin too!



As the two people from different regi...

What do you do when a scientist is sick?

If you can’t helium, you might as well barium!



I stole this from some dude on the discord, her username is Amalgamate_UnderplayChara. (On discord)

Whats the best flashlight ?

Discord light mode

In the City of Loafington, there lived a superhero named Wonderbread.

Wonderbread was, predictably, a superhero with bread-themed powers. He could beat up a gang with a baguette, trap someone in a giant pita, or cushion someone's fall with swiftly-rising dough. He was beloved by all in the city, for his escapades had the lovely side-effect of feeding the entire city f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A partisan joke for election day

Jacob, Jonah, and John aren't getting along very well in Heaven, and one day God gets tired of it and kicks them out. "I'm sick of you guys bickering. You don't appreciate the gifts I gave you. I want you guys to do something amazing. Work together and do something for the record books! As soon...

I realized I am old.... I don't know what Discord is...

So I altavista'd it and apparently it's like ICQ..

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