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Dislike Jokes

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Why Indian students are disliked abroad

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American History.
Teacher :- Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"


She saw a sea of blank face...

I really dislike people that never repost…

They just can’t take a joke.

Why do Soviet Russians dislike running so much?

Because they can never make it past the Finnish line.

Some people like playing Battleship, whereas others really dislike it.

It’s….hit or miss.

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I really dislike my boss.

He's lazy, has bad people skills, and doesn't know his asshole from a hole in the ground. I hate being self-employed somedays.

YouTube disabled the dislike counter.

I would say that everyone disliked that, but I honestly can't tell.

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey?

Because all proper tea is theft.

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I dislike my cat.

She's such a butt licker.

Why does fruit dislike being preserved?

The process is jarring.

Which anion has an ​​intense dislike of itself?

Sulfate

I dislike the colour purple

more than blue and red combined.

Which day of the week do you dislike the most

Sad today

I wrote down the names of everyone I dislike on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.

He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

Why does Matthew McConaughey dislike NASCAR

Because it's not all right, all right, all right.....

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What kind of drink does Hitler dislike?

Juice.

Why did Watson dislike Sherlock Holmes playing music at Baker Street?

As a Doctor, he was naturally against domestic violins.

What did the lady that dislikes flowers and children say?

I don’t like orchids or kids

Why I dislike this sub:

There's not enough cheese and bacon on it. I think I'll go to a different place for lunch next time.

Why did so many people dislike the constitution?

It was too negative, they should have changed con to pro.

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I don't only dislike being constipated.

I hate that shit.

I really dislike people doing Michael Jackson impressions

Whenever I see one, I turn 360 degrees and walk away.

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A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese.

His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese.'

'N...

I dislike my job as a waiter.

But it puts food on the table.

Why do WWI veterans dislike golf?

They always end up in the bunker.

Some people dislike parsley in their liquid dishes

but I think it's soup herb.

An English man and an Irish man are driving head-on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast

for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Englishman goes to the boot and fe...

A virus walks into a bar, and sits down. The bartender tells him, "We don't serve your kind here."

The virus is momentarily taken aback by this unexpected and blatant display of bigotry, the likes of which he's only seen in history textbooks.

For a brief moment, he considers the bartender. What kind of life experiences would shape someone into such a pathetic piece of garbage? What happene...

What does Bill Gates say when he dislikes something?

Bill Hates.

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Why did the window cleaner dislike his job?

It was a pane in the ass.

Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most?

The micro wave.

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Why does Hitler dislike strip clubs?

Too many Poles.

It’s Perfectly fine to dislike certain races

I like running the 5k personally, my friend runs the 10k and he’s like that better though

Why do mexicans dislike rust?

Because it is feo

Why do most people dislike anchovies?

Because they're a little fishy

Why do LGBT people dislike coding?

It's binary

As a vet i dislike working with ducks

They keep calling me a quack

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Why did Eva Braun dislike giving Hitler blowjobs?

Because he left a Nazi taste in her mouth.

I dislike the word "kidnapping"...

I prefer "surprise adoption".

What do you call a person who dislikes people who don’t have toes?

Lack toes intolerant.

Why did the anesthesiology students dislike their professor?

Because they were always putting everybody to sleep.

I don't know why people dislike roman Numerals.

I, for one, like them.

Tom Hanks was recently quoted talking about how much he disliked one of Stephen King's novels.

T. Hanks: I hate It.

My friend Bert disliked his name

... so he studied all the rules and laws about legally changing it. In case you have any questions about name-changing, feel free to ask him - he is now an ex-Bert.

Why do mathematicians dislike cloth rugs?

They prefer fur mats.

I've never really disliked pastries

But I hate Pai now

Why does Donald Trump dislike trees?

Because they're brown and don't speak English.

why do apple computers dislike love songs?

they are all done by Adele!

Why did the programmer dislike his job?

He wasn't getting arrays at work.

Why do indegionous people dislike snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

I always disliked my hair

but its growing on me.

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I was amazed to learn that one quarter of women dislike giving oral sex.

25%. Mind blowing.

Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders?

Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name "Sanders".

My friend told me he really dislikes "All Star" by Smashmouth.

I said: "Hey now..."

My son disliked the present he received from 50 Cent.

It was cheap and badly rapped.

Despite my major dislike of tattoos, my wife recently got one of a club, diamond, heart and spade

I just can't deal with it

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Why do people dislike the new iPhone 7 so much?

It can't do jack shit.

What’s the difference between somebody who doesn’t drink milk and somebody who dislikes amputees?

One is lactose intolerant, the other is lack toes intolerant

I like my internet like I dislike my women.

Not going down on me.

A church got a new pastor, who the music minister immediately disliked. Eventually, their conflict spilled out into the Sunday services.

The first week, the pastor preached about commitment and how we should dedicate our lives to serving one another. The music minister led the song "I Shall Not Be Moved."

The second week, the pastor preached about tithing and how important it was for the congregation to contributed to the chu...

A new survey shows that 99% of Americans dislike Donald Trump

I knew Trump was a part of the 1%.

Why did the priest dislike geometry?

It's sin-ful.


[self made joke]

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My girlfriend disliked my obsession with Japanese food

Sushi left me.

I've never dated a South African girl who I've disliked.

Every time I meet one, we click almost immediately.

I just love the feeling you get when someone you dislike is wearing slightly uncomfortable shoes

Ah shoddenfreude

I used to dislike the idea of having a beard ...

but it slowly grew on me.

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ?

It saves so much time.

Why is North Korea disliked by South Korea?

It's because they are a Seoulless nation.

What's the only type of music that the balloon dislikes?

Pop.

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I found out that a girl who I thought disliked me actually thinks I'm super cute, like a puppy.

Her exact words were "You little son of a bitch"

People want to help hippos and conserve them, while others dislike hippos for attacking humans.

Why are people so hippo-critical?

The PPSH-41 is a soviet gun, which a lot of people disliked. It cost too much to reload with a fire rate of 1000 bpm, and had horrible recoil and aim.

Now, this gun is widely unpopular, but it had one upside: in the russian alphabet, “PPSH” consisted of three letters, pronounced “Pa Pa Sha”. In russian, papasha means “daddy”, and so the popular nickname for this gun was “daddy”. My older sister was shot by one during her time in the army, and luck...

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Done. He was born and raised in the town of Moroccan. Done wasn't very smart, and he was always teased by his peers when he expressed his desire to become a doctor, especially by a disliked and harsh-tempered teacher who would yell at him, "You drive me ...

I meet these genie.

He asked: “Who is the person you dislike the most?” I told him that it would be my mother-in-law. He explained to me that I get three wishes but whatever I wish for my mother-in-law gets double of.

My first wish: “I want one mansion.” My mother-in-law gets two mansions.

My second wish:...

There was this engineer who died and went to Hell.

He disliked Hell, so pretty soon he went to work improving it. He installed air conditioning, elevators, bathroom air fresheners, escalators, and all sorts of gadgetry. One day God calls Satan:

"So, how are things down there?" asks God.

"Great!" Satan replies, "we now have air conditio...

Mahatma Gandhi's sass

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him. Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected…. there were always “argum...

I can't stand rock climbing...

It's not the climbing I dislike, it's the people encouraging me. They drive me up the wall.

I see why Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween,

They must dislike random people coming up to their doors.

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Two friends are walking through a forest...

A cat and a rooster - lifelong friends - are walking through the forest and starting to get hungry. Eventually they come to a stream and notice some food on the other side. While the stream isn't very wide, it is fast moving, and there is no easy way to cross.

The rooster is so hungry at ...

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Doctor walks into a restaurant to try some new dishes

"Hello, what do you like to have today?" Asked the waitress

"Just give anything" said the doctor.

The waitress brings out a double cheese burger with fries.

The doctor took a bite and dislikes it.

"The burger is full of grease, too much fat and fries are just extra carbs...

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what the most useless thing ever?

a dislike button on a youtube comment

An old lady in London...(a true story)

Around a week ago I was waiting in queue behind an old lady at KFC. She placed her order, paid in cash, and all was well until she received one of those new plastic £5 notes as change from the cashier.

She vocally expressed her dislike about the presence of animal products in the new £5 bills...

Why do the French like eating snails?

Because they dislike fast food

I was surprised to discover that machine gunners are unpopular.

They've been disliked for sentries.

How are flat chested women like spiders?

If you dislike either one, you're a-rack-no-phobic.

A man finds a bottle

A man was walking along the beach when he came across an old glass bottle with a cork in it. Curious, he pulled out the cork, and with a loud bang and a cloud of smoke, a genie appeared.

Excited, the man asked "Does this mean I get three wishes?"

"Yes," said the genie. "But all my wis...

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Define Homophobic

having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against homophones and homonyms

My Name ist short

An employee from a different Branche visits.

Coworker: "you should know that the Boss Here is called featherstonehaugh. He dislikes being mispronounced so try to remember it. My own Name is 'short'."

Employee: "my name is short too, it's 'Long'."

Life has never given me lemons

It has given me anger issues, anxiety, stress, a love for alcohol, and a serious dislike for stupid people

If the Naruto runner isnt in rewind,

420 BILLION DISLIKES

I asked my wife what three things she finds most irritating.

She said, "well, I really dislike Sunday drivers. I'm not particularly keen on loud, abnoixious children. But mostly, I really hate it when I have to repeat myself!"

"Oh, yeah, absolutely!" I replied, "You can say that again."

What do children learn from Green Eggs and Ham?

If someone you strongly dislike really really wants you to eat something strange for no apparent reason, you should try it.

I see children like I see bongo drums

They're slightly irritating but it's fashionable for the rich to bring them back from Africa

Why do dogs hate outer space?

Because they strongly dislike vacuums.

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