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Thesis Jokes

"Thesus, your entire thesis is plagiarized from another researcher!"

"That's impossible! I copied it one line at a time!"

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In my thesis, I was gonna prove that Brits often pronounce "th-" sounds as "f"

Turns out it was a shitty idea.

The Rabbit's Thesis

Story :

Scene: It's a fine, sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"

Rabbit:"My thesis."

Fox:"Hmm. What is it about?"

Rabbit:"Oh, I'm wri...

I am writing a thesis on how plants create oxygen.

There is only text and no photos-ynthesis.

My kid's doing his masters' thesis on ancient Egypt plumbing design

He's a Pharaoh faucet major

I finally finished writing my thesis on constipation.

It was a real struggle to get it out.

I looked at my thesis at the library

I noticed several pages were missing. So I asked the librarian "Hey, what's up here? There are several pages missing from my thesis!"

The librarian said "Well, your thesis got sick. So we had to perform an appendectomy on it."

I decided to do my thesis on procrastination 40 years ago.

Maybe I should start it next week

A man got cured of lycanthropy and defended his doctoral thesis on the same day.

Now he is looking for a post dog position

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather.

The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch," said the fox.

"Wait," replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days."

"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"Well, I am just finishing my thesi...

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My wife wrote a thesis on my penis

My wife wrote a thesis and she wanted to show it to me. “Honey, can I read this to you?”

“That’s great of you to write about me, but I’m sorry, I’m busy right now,” I said.

“It’s not long,” she replied.

“Alright, fine, what’s this thesis on my penis?”

“Oh, that was it.”

A graduate student and thesis advisor walk into a bar.

The advisor orders a full draft. They sit in awkward silence for a full year.

Pavlov's birds

An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it ...

Where did the mackerel get the references for its thesis?

From the fish sauce.

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What's the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?

One's a leopard doctor of tax economy, the other's a lepidopteral taxonomy

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I finally submitted my thesis about people with a fetish for clocks.

It's about fucking time.

I've been doing my psychology PhD thesis on the mental health and wellbeing of little people. After 4 long years and multiple studies, I've concluded...

6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.

A graduate student submits his thesis to his advisor...

A few days later, the advisor returns in with a single note: Needs Improvement.

So the student makes a few changes and resubmits it. Again, the advisor returns it with the single note: Needs Improvement.

This time, the student pores over it, double checks every word, adds every referen...

A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time." Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?" ...

Time traveler talks to a mathematician

The time traveler says, "Hello, in my grad school I have learned that it is impossible for any number which is a power greater than the second to be written as the sum of two like powers such as x^n + y^n = z^n for n > 2."

"Show me how you proved it," the mathematician says.

"Indeed...

For my PhD thesis, I wanted to write the best researched paper about General Relativity

But I ran out of time so I failed.

Did you know the inventor of Reese's Pieces has a master's in biology specializing in monkeys?

He did a Rhesus thesis.

My friends have set me up on a date tonight, they told me she's a paleoanthropologist and wrote her thesis on Pleistocene man.

I really want to make a good impression so I've been watching every episode of Morph I can find.

How should you give credit to a parent who helped you write your thesis?

Mention their name in parenthesis.

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I’m writing a masters thesis on the social hierarchies of Ancient Middle Eastern Kingdoms. It’s a pretty serious paper so I want to lend it some levity by adding a joke about eunuchs.

I’m just not sure if I’ve got the balls to do it.

Everyday biology pun

What do you get when you mix picture day with writing a biology essay?



photos-and-thesis

Since it's Easter...

A Christian university student was working on his thesis late one night, praying that Jesus would watch over him and make sure he wasn't doing anything stupid. Around 2:00 AM, he got really tired, so he immediately powered off his computer and went to bed. When he woke up in the morning, he thought ...

A rabbit says to a fox, "I'm writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes"

"Come on, you know that's impossible! No one will publish such rubbish." says the fox

"Well, follow me and I'll show you." They both go into the rabbit's dwelling and after a while, the rabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face.

Then comes a wolf. "Hello, what are we doin...

A professor asks a graduate student what he's working on these days.

"I'm writing a thesis on the survival of the class system in America," the student said.

"Oh, that's interesting. I didn't know there was a class system in America."

"No one does. That's how it survives."

a long fish story

An ichthyology student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How are the studies going?" the bartender asks. "Really great. In fact, right now I'm working on my thesis to explain why koi fish always swim in groups of four," the student replies. "Why do they do that?" the bartender asks. "Well, in the...

I know someone who faked his degree in botany.

He wrote his thesis on artificial Christmas trees.

In order to write a good essay about trees..

..you'll need to write a good photosynThesis.

A hippoptamus has brought his dissertation to defend before the doctoral committee.

The first professor picks up the dissertation and leafs through it. "Hm, interesting," she says. "Follow me, if you please." She leads the hippo and the rest of the committee out to her car which they pile into and drive to her house. She takes them to her reading room. She sets the papers down on a...

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I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes.

I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.

.

.

.

.

I'll see myself out.

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A young liberal arts student walks into a bar...

A young liberal arts student walks into a bar. He sat down and ordered 2 beers.

An Asian guy sitting on his right hand side stared at him and went: so, how does it feel to be in the mid 20s but still live with your parents?

The young liberal arts student was instantly surprised. "Yes...

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My friend's a psychology major.

He's writing his thesis on the psychology of sexual fetishes. It's not ready yet, though- he still has some kinks to work out.

So an engineer, a psychologist, and a physicist are called into a dairy farm that is low on production...

They're each given a day to inspect the farm, then they each deliver a thesis on how best to increase production.

The engineer goes first; he says that if each stall is decreased in area by 40 inches, housing capacity could be doubled.

The psychologist then says that if the walls were...

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