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Engineer and an Academic on a plane

An engineer is getting an 8 hour business flight and next to him sits an academic. The engineer is tired and had a crammed week of line side meetings, design meeting, improvement meetings etc. he just wants to get some sleep as its a night flight and he is back in the office in the morning, so forms...

Two Irish guys walk into a pet shop

Seamus heads straight over to the back of the shop, knowing what he's looking for, and Finton follows shortly behind.

"Dats dem up der!" Says Seamus, pointing at high up bird cage. "Oi'll tek two a dem budgies up der," He says to the shopkeeper, "an wouldya put em in a pepper bag?"

So...

The human cannonball at the circus decided to quit...

"But you can't quit!", cried the ringmaster. "Where am I going to find another man of your calibre??"

They call me the Mary Poppins of artillery...

I deliver...

Super-calibre-ballistic-expedient-explosions

The Moscow State Circus are sad to announce...

The passing of their Human Cannonball.
A spokesman said they hoped that one day they might be able to find a replacement, but aren't sure they'll ever find another man of his calibre.

A man walks into a bar waving his gun around

A man walks into the bar waving his gun around yelling, "I have 45 calibre Colt 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife!" A voice from the back of the room called out, "You're gonna need more ammo!"

After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire…

"But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your calibre?"

Human Cannonball

Following the tragic death of the human cannonball at the local fair, a spokesman said, "We'll struggle to get another man of his calibre".
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