Toilet paper is nearly worthless, but you know what is even more worthless?

My high school diploma.

I have a PhD

Public Highschool Diploma

What's the difference between a diploma and a roll of wallpaper?

When someone hands you a roll of wallpaper, you know you have a job ahead of you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle.

This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just got my diploma from my Skydiving class.

I had to repeatedly drop out to graduate.

For the final piece of coursework in my art diploma, I used my knife to cut a line across Mr Hamill and Mr Wahlberg just after they'd finished eating.

I scored full Marks.

There was once a college math professor

While he was on tenure, he decided to continue taking classes in other subject areas because they were offered to him at a discounted cost. After 40 years of teaching, the professor decided to retire. Over his time working, he had amassed enough credits to have completed 180 different major programs...

What do you call a handicap sticker in Oklahoma?

A high school diploma.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Honest degree slogans

Diploma: Have fun with those loans, guys...

Associates: Man, fuck this.

Bachelor's: Middle class af

Masters: d i f f e r e n t i a t i o n

Doctors: You did it for the title, doc

Postdoc: The prospect of not going to school scares you.

Oldie But Goldie - Don't Lose Your Pen!

* Lost your pen = no pen
* No pen = no notes
* No notes = no study
* No study = fail school
* Fail school = no diploma
* No diploma = no work
* No work = no money
* No money = no food
* No food = skinny
* Skinny = ugly
* Ugly = no love
* No love = no marriage
* No...

there was a suspicion of university diploma forgery

There was a suspicion of university diploma forgery. The police went to investigate that. "There was no proof that any crime was commited," said the police officer, John Brown J.D., M.D., B.D., Ph.D.

Life is like a diploma

My parents keep telling me to get one.

Many people say a diploma is just a piece of paper. I as an educated person beg to differ

It's a piece of cardboard.

A physician goes out to a bar with her husband.

A physician goes out to a bar with her husband. Much to her chagrin, it turns out to be wet t-shirt night. After a few drinks her husband gets caught up in the moment and goads her:

"Hey honey, why don't you go up there and shake your money makers!"

The woman replies: "I don't think so...

What do you call a 6 feet tall circle that recently got his diploma from college?

A Graduated cylinder.

"My first appointment with a new dentist!!"

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old. Well, you'll love this one....

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma, which had his full name.
<...

Why do University of Alabama graduates place their diplomas on their rear-view mirrors?

So they can park in handicap spots.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle

There once was a man who loved trains more than anything else in the world. Ever since he was a boy, he would play with his toy trains and dream of driving trains for a real train company.



So, when he turned 18, he packed his bags and waved goodbye to his family. He headed out the doo...

I wanted to major in reverse psychology.

My dream school turned me down.

So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their stupid program. They sent me a diploma.

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