Why shouldn’t you hang your diplomas on the refrigerator?

Because a refrigerator shouldn’t have too many degrees.

What's the difference between a diploma and a roll of wallpaper?

When someone hands you a roll of wallpaper, you know you have a job ahead of you.

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Three very successful businessmen were sitting in a restaurant and discussed about their sons

First businessman goes to say "my son finished Oxford University, now he has his own company, he's rich and for his best friend's birthday he got him a brand new Lamborghini"


"Wow that's very impressive" they all agree


Second one says "my son, my pride and joy, he opened his ow...

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I'm majoring in reverse psychology...

... and I ask my advisor if I should take on a second major in reverse engineering. She says

"I don't know about that, sounds pretty difficult."

I think for a second and decide, "I'll do it!"

She shrugs and says, "Alright, don't say I didn't warn you." With that, she opens...

Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking, Surely I Can't Look That Old. Well.... You'll Love This One.

My Name Is Alice Smith, And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My First Appointment With A New Dentist.

I Noticed His Dds Diploma, Which Bore His Full Name. Suddenly, I Remembered A Tall, Handsome, Dark-haired Boy With The Same Name Had Been In My High School Class Some 30-odd Years Ago. ...

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I just got my diploma from my Skydiving class.

I had to repeatedly drop out to graduate.

For the final piece of coursework in my art diploma, I used my knife to cut a line across Mr Hamill and Mr Wahlberg just after they'd finished eating.

I scored full Marks.

there was a suspicion of university diploma forgery

There was a suspicion of university diploma forgery. The police went to investigate that. "There was no proof that any crime was commited," said the police officer, John Brown J.D., M.D., B.D., Ph.D.

Many people say a diploma is just a piece of paper. I as an educated person beg to differ

It's a piece of cardboard.

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Waving a Nazi flag at a Bernie rally

Is like waving a diploma at a Trump rally.

I’d like to return this. It’s unused.

Clerk: Sir, this is your diploma.

Me: Cash is fine.

Life is like a diploma

My parents keep telling me to get one.

What do you call a 6 feet tall circle that recently got his diploma from college?

A Graduated cylinder.

Time takes it's toll

So, I was sitting in the waiting-rom at my new dentist. While looking at the diplomas on the wall I noticed his name was familiar. Could he be the same John Andersen I went High school with at Riverside, back in "78? I used to have such a crush on him. He was the cutest. Tall, dark, charming and fun...

Toilet paper is nearly worthless, but you know what is even more worthless?

My high school diploma.

I have a PhD

Public Highschool Diploma

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So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle.

This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, ...

There was once a college math professor

While he was on tenure, he decided to continue taking classes in other subject areas because they were offered to him at a discounted cost. After 40 years of teaching, the professor decided to retire. Over his time working, he had amassed enough credits to have completed 180 different major programs...

What do you call a handicap sticker in Oklahoma?

A high school diploma.

I wanted to major in reverse psychology.

My dream school turned me down.

So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their stupid program. They sent me a diploma.

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Honest degree slogans

Diploma: Have fun with those loans, guys...

Associates: Man, fuck this.

Bachelor's: Middle class af

Masters: d i f f e r e n t i a t i o n

Doctors: You did it for the title, doc

Postdoc: The prospect of not going to school scares you.

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Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle

There once was a man who loved trains more than anything else in the world. Ever since he was a boy, he would play with his toy trains and dream of driving trains for a real train company.



So, when he turned 18, he packed his bags and waved goodbye to his family. He headed out the doo...

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