Extreme Jokes - 101 Hilarious Extreme Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

According to my therapist, I have extreme trouble verbalizing my emotions.

Can’t say I’m surprised.

Comparing Texas lawmakers with the Taliban seems a little extreme.

One is authoritarian theocracy armed by US weapons manufacturers that violently persecutes women and children in the name of religion and the other is the Taliban.

Interviewer: "I heard you were extremely quick at math"

Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I am"

Interviewer: "Whats 14x27"

Me: "49"

Interviewer: "that's not even close"

me: "yeah, but it was fast"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks “Do you sell condoms for extremely large penises?”

“Yes we do,” said the pharmacist. “Do you need to buy some?”

“No,” she replied, “but if you don’t mind I’m just going to wait here.”

Netflix is soon releasing an extremely realistic documentary series about the life of Abraham Lincoln.

The finale is shot before a live audience.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter announces that due to overcrowding, only extremely gruesome deaths will be admitted into heaven today, sorry for any inconvenience.

The first man comes up and Pete says, "How did you die?"

"Well, I's been suspicious that me wife been cheating on me, so I comes home early from work today to catch her, I does. She acts all innocent, she does. She says, 'Go ahead, search the apartment if that will make you feel better,' she ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Extreme Exhaustion

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart , male student said, "What about extreme exhaustion?", and the ...

A young, extremely perky woman gets into an elevator with an older man...

The woman smiles broadly and says, "TGIF"!

The man slowly turns to her and deadpans, "S.h.i.t."

The woman, thinking that he didn't hear her, slowly repeats "T.G.I.F."

He simply responds, "S.h.i.t.", just as slowly.

Exasperated, she laughs and says, "TGIF stands for Thank ...

Have you ever been extreme camping?

It's in tents!

I always assumed that China has extremely sophisticated spying technology that they use on their rivals.

Well, that balloon has burst.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 100 year old Japanese man is being interviewed for a newspaper piece about extreme old age

and the reporter asks "do you think there's any merit to the stereotype that people from this village live a lot longer than others?"

The old man thinks for a second and says "you know, I'm not sure. Let me go ask my dad". And the reporter, stunned, stammers "y-your dad? Where is he right now...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist just diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and extreme indecisiveness.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

A man notices a woman sitting at the bar in extremely tight pants.

He sits down next to her, while obviously looking at the pants and says, "how do you get into those?"
She smiles and says, "just pay me $50."

Ever since I worked on my extreme arrogance, I've become a better person.

Better than all of you together!

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.” Confused and extremely worried, I slowly opened the fridge door. The light came on, the beer was cold.

What the hell did she mean?

Did you hear the one about the extremely adaptable chiropractor to insects?

They were great at making adjustments on the fly.

A woman was pumping her gas on an extremely hot day.

As she pulled the nozzle from her car, some splashed on her arm and a random spark ignited the gas. As her arm was burning, she called for help to have someone try to quell the flame before it grew too high. To her luck, a couple police officers walked out from inside the gas station and immediately...

You Might Be An Extreme Redneck If...

You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of HER kids.

The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is out of your league b...

There are only two rules you need to follow to become extremely succesful in life.

1. Not revealing everything you know.

An extremely close landing on an extremely short runway..

A plane is nearing its destination. The pilot turns to his co-pilot and remarks: "That looks like a really short runway." The co-pilot looks at it and says: "Yes, captain, its really short." 100 meters from the runway, the pilot communicates to the passengers and crew: "Fasten your seatbelts, this i...

My friend told me he suffers from extreme paranoia...

I told him don't worry you're not alone

The All Lives Matter crowd is extremely upset.

To learn that All Votes Matter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cataracts are extremely rare in Japan.

Chevrorets and Rincolns, on the other hand, are quite common.

I went 'extreme' camping the other day........

It was in tents.

What do you call an extreme clown?

A Fundamentalist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from many men.

It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return....

What do you call an extremely clingy alien?

A personal space invader.

Putin is reportedly extremely angry about his bridge getting blown up

He needs to get over it

The extreme needleworking camp is this weekend!

Don't miss it.. it's sew in tents!

Knives are extremely advanced

They are all cutting edge technology

I don’t care what anyone says, Amy Schumer is extremely talented.

I mean who else can steal jokes from others, and still remain remarkably unfunny.

Books about earthquakes are extremely popular.

They're literally flying off the shelves.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man has an extreme headache...

...and after a few agonizing days he decides to go to the doctor to see what's wrong with him.
"Well I have terrible news" says the doctor "you have a very odd condition where your spine is constricting your testicles. If you don't remove your testicles your headache will never go away."
O...

What would you call an extreme case of gonorrhea?

Thunderclap

A short guide to extreme

Some couples like what they have. Others want to experiment. This is a quick and simple (and dirty) tutorial for some extreme [](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/) play in a young couple's bedroom.

As far as special equipment goes... well, it'll become obvious as you read.

Step ze...

Almost everyone at the North Pole becomes extremely anxious whenever Santa feels depressed

That’s when he’s most likely to elf harm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 men and their thirst for extreme!

2 men are standing on the ledge of a cliff... One man has a Budgie on his shoulder and the other has a parrot on his shoulder and a gun attached to his hip.

The first man with the Budgie, jumps off the cliff and as he falls the Budgie immediately flies away. The man plunges to the ground, mir...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my steak like

Extremely rare

I was a big fan of Extreme Vetting

Then I found out it isn't a show about skydiving into the desert to perform dog surgery.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An extremely wealthy man invited his high school friends to his big estate for a reunion.

Aside from being extremely wealthy, he is also extremely arrogant and prideful. As he welcomed his friends to his house, he gave them a tour of his estate, showing his cars, helicopters, private jets, and even his own yacht, all the while bragging about all his assets and wealth. Finally, at the end...

Man in Restaurant Sees Extremely Attractive Woman Sitting Alone...

so he decides to send her a nice bottle of wine. The waiter brings it and the lady looks at the bottle for a moment and sends a message back to the man.

It reads: 'For me to accept this bottle of wine you must have a Mercedes in your garage, a few million dollars in your bank, and seven inch...

What does a beatboxer do when he's extremely angry at some boxes?

He realizes he has anger issues.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always wondered how people evolved from plain vanilla to extreme.

No more wondering - I've found the missing kink.

Extreme sports

Five men walk into a pet store and buy a hen, a parrot and a budgie. The next day they head to the top of a cliff, where the first man grabs the hen and jumps off the cliff, falling to his death. The second man nervously clutches the parrot and proceeds to jump off the cliff with it as well, also re...

Holocaust Jokes are extremely insensitive

Anne Frankly I don’t find them very funny.

An extremely devout man prays to win the lottery

Every morning, meal, and night a devout man prays to win the lottery in order to spread the blessing to the people he knows are in desperate need of help. After years of repeating his prayer he finally passes and is allowed to ask God 1 question.

He faces god and says lord I've lived my life ...

What’s the difference between bad luck and extreme bad luck?

Bad luck is when your mother-in-law falls into a river.

Extreme bad luck is when someone saves her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests...

The last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so he stayed put.

Suddenly, however, he filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rationa...

What does an extremely small duck say?

Quark!

This sub is extremely environmentally friendly

It only uses recycled jokes

What is extreme sadomasochism?

Draw a whip on the wall and throw your wife against it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

is extremely selfish.

me. Right?

Don't you guys think abolishing The Police is a bit extreme?

At least let them have a farewell tour first.

I creating a new extreme outdoor/camping company

It's going to be Intense.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have an extreme hatred for toilets.

Whenever I need to use one, I lose my .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was on pedestrian crossing walking behind an extremely obese man.

when suddenly his phone began to be bleep. A voice next to me said “ me he’s gonna reverse “

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Englishman: "That your dog?"

Englishman: "That your dog?"

Welshman: "Aye"

Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?'

Welshman: "Dog don't talk.”

Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doing all right."

Welshman: (look of shock)

Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the We...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Mickey mouse it says you want to divorce Minnie because she was.........extremely silly?"

"No, I said she's goofy"

I scored extremely well on my socialist exam last week.

I got top Marx.

Machetes are extremely tech savvy

They can hack anything.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was extremely unfortunate

He was so unfortunate that he even have only one ball.

One day he gets on a plane. 15 min into the flight the plane starts quaking. The crew says "Unfortunately we are too crowded for this plane, someone needs to jump out for the greater good."

So they decides to draw lots. As he e...

Everyone knows I am extremely smart

After all I have a theoretical degree in physics

Jokes about extreme obesity...

...are morbid humor.

"You have a very rare and extremely contagious condition"

the doctor told his patient.

"We're going to have to put you in an isolation unit where you'll be on a diet of pancakes and pizza."

"Will the pancakes and pizza cure my condition?" asked the patient.

"No," replied the doctor.

"They're the only things we can slip under th...

My friend is a man of extreme luck. He won the Russian roulette 5 times in a row!

\*was

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

A man and a Dog, and the extremely unusual funeral...

A man and his wife are walking down the town main street. They are arguing, as they always do, about the efficiency of wearing masks during the pandemic.

However, they have to stop because of a funeral procession that is actively going on. The procession was extremely unusual... Everyone is w...

Your chances of meeting a unicorn are extremely low.

But they are still higher than the chance of you getting a girlfriend/boyfriend

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Interviewer: Your resume says that you are extremely literal.

Me: Holy . My resume is talking now?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The FBI have a job opening for an extremely undercover position

Over 50000 people apply, and they manage to rattle it down to a final 3. They are then given their final task, they will be put in a room with their wife, and they must kill them, and they give each of them a gun which they tell them to use.

The first man goes in, and they here sobbing, after...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call the extremes in the political spectrum?

Political Rectums

Example sentence: It’s impossible to have a civilized discussion with Tim, he is too far right/left up in the Political .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Told my doctor that I was extremely constipated

He told me that I was full of

Bored at work so I wrote my first joke. It’s extremely dumb but maybe it’ll make someone laugh.

An extremely wealthy family owned countless successful companies, bought out competitors and even purchased new ventures if they looked promising enough. Nothing was too big or small, and nothing was off limits.

The family consisted of a mother (Linda), father (Robert) and 3 sons (Robert Jr.,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife and I were featured on Extreme Couponing last year.

Our episode of Hoarders airs next week!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Drunk driving is extremely gay.

You just can't think straight.

I saw a sketchy looking guy walking on the street with six smoke machines. So I called the cops.

He must be part of some extreme mist group.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class.

“Let’s set some parameters,” the professor said. “What’s the opposite of joy?” he asked one student.

“Sadness,” he replied.

“The opposite of depression?” he asked
another student.

“Elation,” he replied.

“The opposite of woe?” the prof as...

After an extremely tense argument with my girlfriend, the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Things got a lot worse when I saw the grenade fly towards me.

Working at the unemployment office is extremely stressful

Even when you get fired you still have to come into work the next day.

Punch lines are extremely one-dimensional

Punch areas and punch volumes have more depth.

A woman with extremely hairy armpits decides to wear a sleeveless dress.

She enters a bus and, finding no seats, is forced to hold the railing on top with the other standing passengers.

A drunk man was standing next to her. "I really admire you ballerinas, you know.“

Confused, she responds," Why would you think I'm a ballerina?“

“It's obvious, " says...

Due to extreme heat, I experienced a brownout last night.

I knew I shouldn't have tried that ghost pepper sauce.

An extremely bright star walks into a bar.

He shines so bright he nearly blinds everyone inside.

"Are you kidding?" The bartender asks in annoyance.

"No," The star replies. "I'm Sirius."

How did the extreme campers describe their living conditions?

Intents!

I'm digging this extremely irresistible woman

They really do bury them six feet underground.

When I stayed over at my girlfriend's house, her extremely conservative father wouldn't let us sleep together.

Which was a shame, because he is very attractive.

I like my men how I like my coffee...

Extremely hot and capable of severely injuring my throat

I am extremely picky about what I eat.

Everything I eat must absolutely be describable with a word that begins with "F". It must also must also end with "D". And finally, it should have two "O"'s in it. I simply will not eat anything that does not meet my minimum criteria.

I recently made an impossible escape room and I’m extremely proud!

It’s called Student Loans.

If you think about it, Futurama was an extremely progressive show.

Truly ahead of its time.

My friends all say I'm extremely condescending...

...that means I talk down to people.

Little Johnny is in 1st grade, but extremely smart.

One day his friend asks him how he’s so clever.

Little Johnny answers: Simple, I use association.

During this, their teacher is listening and thinks this is a big word for a first grader so the teacher decided to test him.

Teacher: Johnny I heard you telling your friend about...

My girlfriend broke up with me because I am extremely handsome and too many girls want me

She said something else about my chronic lying disorder but I wasn't really listening

Becoming pigeons can be extremely time consuming...

It took a pig eons to become one.

List of Extremely Stupidly Funny Jokes

Comment the stupidest, funniest joke you know!

My physicist girlfriend says I'm extremely attractive!

In the 'having enough mass to produce a strong field of gravity' kind of way.

Woman visits a bank on downtown NYC...

...and asks for a short-term $10,000 loan. Banker asks her for collateral, and she hands him the keys to her Mercedes. She says she's going on a vacation, and will return the following week to repay the debt and retrieve her car.

Week later, she picks up the vehicle and pays back the loan, pl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You have to be extremely careful around everyone nowadays

I was walking down the street yesterday and a guy walked towards me and pulled out scissors. I'm so very happy I was agile enough to reach into my pocket and pull out a rock. If I had pulled out paper, I would have lost!

Why do I support extreme racist political parties?

Because their aims are white up my street

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into his doctor’s office with an extreme pain in his backside

Seeing his clearly in pain, the doctor asks him to bend over. After a few seconds the doctor exclaims, “You’ve got a piece of lettuce hanging out of your !”

Grimacing, the man said, “Doc- that’s just the tip of the iceberg!”

I went on an extreme camping trip last week...

It was in tents.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.