UPJOKE
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Teat Jokes

In the teats and comdoms factory.

The mayor is visiting a new factory where they make teats and comdoms. When they are near the machine that makes teats it sounds like

"fffff pop,
fffff pop,
fffff pop..."

The mayor asked her assistant to explain it.

Assistant: Well the "fffff" is when the latex gets inflat...

Cow without teats

udder nonsense

Pair of teats

Little Johnny's parent's ask him what he wants for his birthday.
> I want a pair of teats!

His parents are shocked, so they decide to wait another day before asking him again.


The next day, they ask him and he enthusiastically shouts
>I want a pair of teats!

<...

The best milk cows have seven teats

Because they lactate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 dogs were very curious about how humans did sex so they hid under the bed when the owner brought home a girl

Dog 1 : Did you see that? She has only two teats?

Dog 2 : Yeah, and his tail is wagging in the wrong direction!!

What’s the most common type of owl?

The teat…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Funny.

A labourer applies for a job on a farm.

The farmer asked him if he had experience and what he was particularly good at.

The labourer gave him his CV and said that he could actually communicate with animals.

The farmer wanted to test him and took him to the chicken shed.

O...

Ole buys a new cow

Sven asks Ole "how's dat new cow?" Great he replies except when I pull her teat she farts. Did you get her from North Dakota? I did, how did you know? "My wife's from there!"

It is really tough being a dairy farmer.

You make money by the skim of your teat!

A young cow runs crying to her mom...

A young cow runs crying to her mom...

"Momma, a bull came down to mate with me!"

Momma: "No need to cry my child. It's perfectly natural."

"But momma he insisted on sucking on my teats because it gets him in the mood!"

"He did What? How dairy!"

I was just washing up in the kitchen with the back door open, when an owl suddenly flew in, dried all the pots, put them away and flew off.

it was a Teat Owl

North Dakota

A dairy farmer from South Dakota had a favorite dairy cow. She was old, and one day she passed away. Saddened, but wanting another cow to give his family milk he sought out another cow in the local paper.

He found a listing from a dairy farmer in North Dakota a few hours away, and made arrang...

The homeless man and the farmer.

A homeless man is traveling from town to town and sees a farm, he finds the farmer and asks if he can work for some money. The farmer being a nice and charitable man agrees. He says, "clean out the horse stables, feed the pigs, and collect the eggs from the hen coop, and I'll give you 50$ when you'r...

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