Job interviewer: So, how do you wish to explain this four year gap on your resume?

Interviewee: That is because I went to Yale

Job interviewer: Oh, that is impressive! You are hired!

Interviewee: Thanks! I really needed this Yob

Generation gap

A mum texts, “Hi! Son, what do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?”
He texts back, “I don’t know, love you and talk to you later.”
The mother replies, “It’s OK, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister. Love you too.”

Did you hear the one about the Stockbroker who got a job at the GAP?

He’s a shorts-seller

I know people take the age gap seriously but it's getting ridiculous

For example as a twenty-two year old I'll sometimes bring twenty-one year olds to the bar with me and it's nothing but mean and insensitive comments like they're too young to drink, and where'd you find 20 of them?

A sixty year old millionaire ran into an old friend in a jewelry store after a gap of several years and proudly introduces him to his gorgeous twenty eight year old wife.

The friend eyes her as she tries on a necklace in the tabletop mirror and whispers, "You lucky dog, how did you net someone like her?"

The millionaire leans in closer and whispers conspiratorially, "I told her that I was eighty."

interviewer: what is this gap in your employment history?

**me:** do you know what a "ronin" is?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo mama so gap-toothed...

She can floss with a dick!

The wage gap isn’t real

Men just go for higher paying jobs like doctor, CEO, lawyer ect. Where as women pick lower paying jobs like female doctor, female lawyer, and female CEO

A man is walking home with his wife when...

Another man runs past with a gate in his hands. The man thinks it looks like his gate but says nothing.

A few minutes later the couple arrives home and sees a gap in the fence where the gate should be.

"I thought that gate was ours!" Says the man

"Then why didn't you say anythin...

if someone is wearing a gap shirt ..

point to their shirt and say “there’s a hole in ur shirt!” when they look down, say “never mind it’s just a gap”

A group of gap year students meet in a bar in Thailand. [LONG]

A group of gap year students from around the globe meet up in remote bar in the mountains of Thailand. They get to drinking and getting to know each other. Mark was from the Scotland, John was from the US, Anya was from Russia, Roberto was from Italy, Sett was from Finland.

They start shari...

Used to know a guy who worked at the GAP. Spent half his paychecks buying clothes there.

He really sold himself shorts.

Two guys are attempting an escape from an insane asylum

Eventually they escape the main building but there are walls around the encampment so they get to a roof to get over the wall, they look at the gap between the roof and the wall and decide it’s too dangerous. the first guy says,
“Alright, we can’t jump across so I’ll just shine my flashlight over...

My friend went on a gap year travelling, and it's all he ever talks about. It's gotten to the point where I can't even discuss my problems with him anymore...

All he ever says is: "Oh, I've been there before."

In an effort to bridge the cultural gap with my Hispanic friends, I’ve been saying “muchos” a lot more recently

It means a lot to them

A GAP store in London opened a Baby GAP right next to it.

As I walked past I saw a generation gap.

Bath night

A couple take in a beautiful young lady as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.......

"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said...

Apparently there was a mass shooting at the Gap.

There were a lot of casual tees.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old funny joke about some some crazy bastards

See, there were these two guys in a lunatic asylum.and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more.

They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretchin...

Why did Michael Jackson run to the Gap?

Because he heard that kid's pants were half off!

What’s the reason batman has a gap in his mask

So that cops know he's white

A guy was nailing his interview and the employer said "well application looks great but there's a 7 year gap since your last job, what happened?"

The guy says "oh I went to yale",
The employer: Oh great your hired you start Monday.

Guy: "Yay I got a yob!"

A smart man and a not so smart man are locked in a room

A smart man and a not so smart man are locked in a room. One day they decided they didn’t like being locked up anymore, and wanted to escape. The not so smart one has to rely on the smart one to get out. So they made their way up to the roof through a series of vents. Once up on the roof of the buil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wage gap is sexist, because a woman gets 70 cents for every dollar a man makes...

... then the man is only left with 30 cents. That's messed up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DEA agent stopped at our farm yesterday.

“We are going to need to search your land for illegally grown drugs.” He said

“That’s fine, but don’t go into that field over there” I replied.

Agitated by this, the officer explodes saying, “do you see this god damn badge son?! This badge means I can go where I please, when I please,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unfortunate

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage.

Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bridging the gap

Fellas,

If you want your wife to know what it's like to wait around doing nothing while she shops then have her sit next to you while you're browsing pornhub looking for the right video

How to fix the wage gap.

Wagegap

"A woman's work is never done"

That explains the pay gap

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, "13... 13... 13..."

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting, "14.... 14... 14..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call the gap between a pair of fake boobs?

Silicone Valley.

2 Yetis meet on a dating app

2 Yetis matched on a dating app one day. One was American, the other European. In spite of American Yeti’s peculiarities and the yawning physical gap between them, they hit it off. Having gone back and forth for a little while, American Yeti asks European Yeti for a picture. European Yeti happily ob...

The age gap in my relationship is somewhat questionable.

According to the police.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was the first night for a newlywed couple. The bride was still a virgin because she heard how much sex can hurt if a man has a large dick.

To make his bride feel at ease, the groom said to her, "OK, I am going to go outside and slowly show you my dick through the door. Stay calm, there is nothing to be afraid of".

So he walked out, leaving the door slightly ajar and then stuck a little bit of his dick through the gap and asked, ...

NSFW Age gaps in relationships

If there's grass on the field play ball, if not wet it down and play in the mud.

Why Were the Police called to the GAP?

.....they heard there were a couple of Casual-Tees

Two men break out of a mental institution.

Two men steal flashlights and break out of a mental institution. They find themselves on the roof of the building with orderlies closing in. The men look and see there is an adjacent roof they might be able to jump onto. The first man runs and leaps over the gap, landing on the roof of the next buil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The S’wan (long)

A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, run by a few gruff sisters.

Being good Catholics in a small Newfoundland seaside town, such oddities rarely found their way to their front door. T...

Ticket please

Three engineers and three accountants are in the queue to buy a train ticket.

The three accountants buy a ticket each; three in all. The engineers, however, buy one ticket between them.

“How are you…?” ask the accountants.
“We know what to do,” reply the engineers.

And all si...

You Might Be An Accountant If

you deduct Exlax as "Moving expenses".

you have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.

while watching the movie Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.

getting to sleep is an exciting event that you look forward to all day long.

your idea of trashing your hot...

April and June were dating...

The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.

As time went by, June got the impressi...

A man is sitting alone on a train.

A man is sitting alone on a train, whole carriage to himself. It's raining heavily outside and there's a gap on the ceiling right above the man's head, pouring water into the carriage and soaking him wet. The inspector comes in collecting tickets, sees the man in this miserable state and asks "Excus...

I got called a peadophile today

Im 39 and my girlfriends 19, we are not bothered about the age gap but it’s horrible when your in a restaurant and someone called you a ‘peado’ and a child groomer when your trying to enjoy your meal.


Completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian, an American and a englishman is discussing.

The Russian shows off by saying that the russian fleet can reach all around the world in one line without a single gap.
The American answers: ha that's nothing if our air force takes off all at once we can block out the sun entirely.
They then both look at the Englishman who simply says: I kno...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman listen’s in on her 4 year old playing with his train set

“All those getting off, go on fuck off, and all those gettin on fucking hurry up”

The woman smacks his bum and sends him upstairs till he’s learned his lesson.

2 hours later the boy comes back down, says sorry to his mum and carries on playing, Mum listens in:

”all those depart...

Job interview

A man is applying for a job and he has a very good resume

Interviewer: You have the qualities we are looking for and your resume looks great and we want to hire you. However, there is a 5 year gap in your resume. Can you tell us what you were doing during that time?

Employee: I went to...

A man came in to give his application to the manager.

But the manager asked, “Why is there a four-year gap in your application?”

And the man responded, “Yale.”

The manager hired him and the guy said, “Thanks. I needed a yob.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hillbilly Stripper

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.

He performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He t...

A man is walking past an insane asylum.

As he passes the yard (which was surrounded by a high fence), he heard many voices from within chanting “seven, seven, seven” over and over again. He’s very curious as to why the patients could be chanting this number so he looks through a gap in the fence planks to have a look. Before he can see an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Couple talking a walk

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. As they walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak.
He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback ...

The differences between a Girl friend, and a Girlfriend

Is the gap between them

At a job interview,

Interviewer: There’s a gap in your CV. What were you doing in 2020?

Me: I was washing my hands...

I noticed a nuclear fusion reactor the other day in my backyard.

While in my backyard the other day, I noticed a large gravitationally confined plasma thermo-nuclear fusion reactor. Being an engineer, I saw that it was radiating huge amounts of energy at very high velocity in the form of incredibly high frequency transversely polarized Maxwellian electromagnetic ...

I visited Kenya...

I was in Kenya for holiday and decided to visit a poor village. There I met a married couple who told me about their everyday life. The wife told how she makes clothes for a living and makes 1.75 dollars a day. The husband was a farmer who only made 2 dollars a day.

It broke my heart. I felt ...

"Doctor, I think my wife has a hearing problem. "

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think my wife has a hearing problem. She doesn't seem to hear what ever I tell her."

The doctor replies, "Oh, is that so? Well, let me try to help you. Just try this method when you get home today. Stand around 50 feet from her and ask her somethi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is speeding down the highway

while driving her convertible sports car. She flies past a billboard, behind which is parked a highway patrol officer. Startled by her outrageous velocity, the cop flicks on his lights and siren and pulls out from his hiding spot, tearing up asphalt to close the gap.

She notices his approach...

Marketing 101

A professor explained about marketing to MBA students.
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party, you go to her and say I am rich, marry me. That's direct marketing.
2. You attend a party and your friend goes to the girl to tell her, he's rich, marry him. That's advertising.
3. The same g...

Its the year 2500 and students are in history.

A student asks the teacher why is there a gap in the textbook between 1990 and 1999 and the teacher answers “because only 90’s kids remember.”

Jesus says he loves me...

but I'm worried about the age gap.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.