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Job interviewer: So, how do you wish to explain this four year gap on your resume?

Interviewee: That is because I went to Yale

Job interviewer: Oh, that is impressive! You are hired!

Interviewee: Thanks! I really needed this Yob

The wage gap isn't real.

Men simply focus on getting the higher paying jobs like scientist, doctor, engineer. Meanwhile, women tend to go towards the lower paying jobs, like female scientist, female doctor and female engineer.

There’s such a gap between men’s and women’s sports.

The difference is nuts!

White House phone records on the day of the Capitol Riots show a seven-hour gap in the President's calls

Aides say he was merely taking a Covfefe break.

I know people take the age gap seriously but it's getting ridiculous

For example as a twenty-two year old I'll sometimes bring twenty-one year olds to the bar with me and it's nothing but mean and insensitive comments like they're too young to drink, and where'd you find 20 of them?

Interviewer: Can you explain these gaps in your resume?

Me : I believe those were caused by the space bar

Generation gap

A mum texts, “Hi! Son, what do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?”
He texts back, “I don’t know, love you and talk to you later.”
The mother replies, “It’s OK, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister. Love you too.”

Did you hear the one about the Stockbroker who got a job at the GAP?

He’s a shorts-seller

There were two friends who had to jump across two buildings…

The first friend jumped across no problem, but the second friend was scared of falling. The first friend pulled out a flashlight and said “Hey, I will shine a light between the gap and you walk across the beam”
The second friend replied with “You think i’m crazy? You will just turn it off halfway...

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Yo mama so gap-toothed...

She can floss with a dick!

Apparently there was a mass shooting at the Gap.

There were a lot of casual tees.

if someone is wearing a gap shirt ..

point to their shirt and say “there’s a hole in ur shirt!” when they look down, say “never mind it’s just a gap”

Used to know a guy who worked at the GAP. Spent half his paychecks buying clothes there.

He really sold himself shorts.

Why did Michael Jackson run to the Gap?

Because he heard that kid's pants were half off!

My friend went on a gap year travelling, and it's all he ever talks about. It's gotten to the point where I can't even discuss my problems with him anymore...

All he ever says is: "Oh, I've been there before."

In an effort to bridge the cultural gap with my Hispanic friends, I’ve been saying “muchos” a lot more recently

It means a lot to them

A guy was nailing his interview and the employer said "well application looks great but there's a 7 year gap since your last job, what happened?"

The guy says "oh I went to yale",
The employer: Oh great your hired you start Monday.

Guy: "Yay I got a yob!"

A GAP store in London opened a Baby GAP right next to it.

As I walked past I saw a generation gap.

A Swedish man shows up to a job interview

The interviewer says, "Mr. Gustafson, could you explain the 4 year gap in your resume?"

"I went to Yale", he replied.

"Outstanding! What did you go to Yale for?"

"Yacking off in the library"

A guy goes into a job interview...

And the interviewer is asking him the standard questions. The interviewer says "you've got a 4 year gap in your resume since your last job. Can you detail that for me?" The guy says "sure! I went to Yale for 4 years." The interviewer says "remarkable! You're hired!" The guy replies,

"Oh thank...

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The wage gap is sexist, because a woman gets 70 cents for every dollar a man makes...

... then the man is only left with 30 cents. That's messed up.

What’s the reason batman has a gap in his mask

So that cops know he's white

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Bridging the gap

Fellas,

If you want your wife to know what it's like to wait around doing nothing while she shops then have her sit next to you while you're browsing pornhub looking for the right video

Two guys in an asylum decide one night they're sick of living there, and decide to escape. They make their way to the roof, and just across this tiny gap are the rooftops of the town, glowing in the moon light. Freedom The first guy jumps right across but his pal didn't dare for fear of falling.

However, the first guy has an idea...
He says "Hey! I got my flashlight! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!"

The second guy just shakes his head and says: "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn off the light when I was halfw...

The Marriage,,,

Paula, a mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter
Janet's plane to land. Janet had just come back from abroad trying to find
adventure during her gap year. As Janet was exiting the plane, Paula
noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic
marking...

Bath night

A couple take in a beautiful young lady as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.......

"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said...

How to fix the wage gap.

Wagegap

Which designer fashion brand would never print their name on panties?

The Gap

A joke my dad has been telling for 45 years

My dad played high school baseball, and the second baseman, John, eventually grew up to be a very successful accountant and married his high school sweetheart. Over the next 25 years, John also collected rare and antique baseball cards, eventually accumulating the world's most expensive collection…<...

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A DEA agent stopped at our farm yesterday.

“We are going to need to search your land for illegally grown drugs.”

I said, “that’s fine, but don’t go into that field over there. You won’t like it.”

Agitated by this, the officer explodes saying, “do you see this god damn badge son?! This badge means I can go where I please, when I...

Mind your own business

A guy was walking past a mental hospital, when he heard all the patients shouting "13...13...13..."

Curious as to what was going on, he tried to look over the wooden fence, but it was too high. Spotting a small gap between the planks, he looked through and was suddenly poked in the eye by one...

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What do you call the gap between a pair of fake boobs?

Silicone Valley.

Little Mikey

Little Mikey Tomlinson loved his school. He lived in a little fishing village and his mom was the school teacher. The school had a tradition. If it was your birthday you got to choose the fish for lunch and any toy you wanted from the toy chest. For months he had his eye on a replica AC cobra hot wh...

The age gap in my relationship is somewhat questionable.

According to the police.

Why Were the Police called to the GAP?

.....they heard there were a couple of Casual-Tees

NSFW Age gaps in relationships

If there's grass on the field play ball, if not wet it down and play in the mud.

A man is walking home with his wife when...

Another man runs past with a gate in his hands. The man thinks it looks like his gate but says nothing.

A few minutes later the couple arrives home and sees a gap in the fence where the gate should be.

"I thought that gate was ours!" Says the man

"Then why didn't you say anythin...

My Grandfather really liked Fall Out Boy

I never understood why, considering the age gap between him and the band. Every week, I’d go sit with him on his porch and we’d listen to the band, jamming out to some sick tunes and laughing our hearts out at each other’s awful singing. Unfortunately as time passed, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’...

A smart man and a not so smart man are locked in a room

A smart man and a not so smart man are locked in a room. One day they decided they didn’t like being locked up anymore, and wanted to escape. The not so smart one has to rely on the smart one to get out. So they made their way up to the roof through a series of vents. Once up on the roof of the buil...

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It was the first night for a newlywed couple. The bride was still a virgin because she heard how much sex can hurt if a man has a large dick.

To make his bride feel at ease, the groom said to her, "OK, I am going to go outside and slowly show you my dick through the door. Stay calm, there is nothing to be afraid of".

So he walked out, leaving the door slightly ajar and then stuck a little bit of his dick through the gap and asked, ...

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Unfortunate

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage.

Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up...

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Hillbilly Stripper

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.

He performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He t...

"A woman's work is never done"

That explains the pay gap

April and June were dating...

The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.

As time went by, June got the impressi...

I got called a peadophile today

Im 39 and my girlfriends 19, we are not bothered about the age gap but it’s horrible when your in a restaurant and someone called you a ‘peado’ and a child groomer when your trying to enjoy your meal.


Completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

You Might Be An Accountant If

you deduct Exlax as "Moving expenses".

you have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.

while watching the movie Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.

getting to sleep is an exciting event that you look forward to all day long.

your idea of trashing your hot...

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A woman listen’s in on her 4 year old playing with his train set

“All those getting off, go on fuck off, and all those gettin on fucking hurry up”

The woman smacks his bum and sends him upstairs till he’s learned his lesson.

2 hours later the boy comes back down, says sorry to his mum and carries on playing, Mum listens in:

”all those depart...

Two men break out of a mental institution.

Two men steal flashlights and break out of a mental institution. They find themselves on the roof of the building with orderlies closing in. The men look and see there is an adjacent roof they might be able to jump onto. The first man runs and leaps over the gap, landing on the roof of the next buil...

2 Yetis meet on a dating app

2 Yetis matched on a dating app one day. One was American, the other European. In spite of American Yeti’s peculiarities and the yawning physical gap between them, they hit it off. Having gone back and forth for a little while, American Yeti asks European Yeti for a picture. European Yeti happily ob...

Ticket please

Three engineers and three accountants are in the queue to buy a train ticket.

The three accountants buy a ticket each; three in all. The engineers, however, buy one ticket between them.

“How are you…?” ask the accountants.
“We know what to do,” reply the engineers.

And all si...

Job interview

A man is applying for a job and he has a very good resume

Interviewer: You have the qualities we are looking for and your resume looks great and we want to hire you. However, there is a 5 year gap in your resume. Can you tell us what you were doing during that time?

Employee: I went to...

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The S’wan (long)

A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, run by a few gruff sisters.

Being good Catholics in a small Newfoundland seaside town, such oddities rarely found their way to their front door. T...

I noticed a nuclear fusion reactor the other day in my backyard.

While in my backyard the other day, I noticed a large gravitationally confined plasma thermo-nuclear fusion reactor. Being an engineer, I saw that it was radiating huge amounts of energy at very high velocity in the form of incredibly high frequency transversely polarized Maxwellian electromagnetic ...

Marketing 101

A professor explained about marketing to MBA students.
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party, you go to her and say I am rich, marry me. That's direct marketing.
2. You attend a party and your friend goes to the girl to tell her, he's rich, marry him. That's advertising.
3. The same g...

"Doctor, I think my wife has a hearing problem. "

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think my wife has a hearing problem. She doesn't seem to hear what ever I tell her."

The doctor replies, "Oh, is that so? Well, let me try to help you. Just try this method when you get home today. Stand around 50 feet from her and ask her somethi...

A man is sitting alone on a train.

A man is sitting alone on a train, whole carriage to himself. It's raining heavily outside and there's a gap on the ceiling right above the man's head, pouring water into the carriage and soaking him wet. The inspector comes in collecting tickets, sees the man in this miserable state and asks "Excus...

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A woman is speeding down the highway

while driving her convertible sports car. She flies past a billboard, behind which is parked a highway patrol officer. Startled by her outrageous velocity, the cop flicks on his lights and siren and pulls out from his hiding spot, tearing up asphalt to close the gap.

She notices his approach...

The differences between a Girl friend, and a Girlfriend

Is the gap between them

A man came in to give his application to the manager.

But the manager asked, “Why is there a four-year gap in your application?”

And the man responded, “Yale.”

The manager hired him and the guy said, “Thanks. I needed a yob.”

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A Russian, an American and a englishman is discussing.

The Russian shows off by saying that the russian fleet can reach all around the world in one line without a single gap.
The American answers: ha that's nothing if our air force takes off all at once we can block out the sun entirely.
They then both look at the Englishman who simply says: I kno...

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A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane.

They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and...

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