UPJOKE
counsellorcounselpsychologistadviseradvisorpsychiatristconsultantsupervisoradvocatecounselor-at-lawlawyerpediatricianattorneyphysiciandoctor

Counselors Jokes

The crown prince of Saudi Arabia is talking with his counselors.

One of them asks, "What are your current plans?" The prince says, "I'm going to starve to death a few hundred thousand people in Yemen and dismember one journalist." The counselor asks, "Why the journalist?" "See, no one cares about the people in Yemen."

How many substance abuse counselors does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

How many depression counselors does it take to treat a patient who've seen the same joke thrice in a day?

I will let you know when I recover.

Be afraid, very afraid

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked,

\- "Mrs. Jones, do you know ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bubba and Cooter sign up for college courses

Bubba goes into the counselors office first. The school counselor offers Bubba several different courses including logic 101....

Bubba:What is logic?

Counselor: Well, let me give you an example! Do you own a weed eater?

Bubba: Yup.

Counselor: Then I can as...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple goes to marriage counseling

A couple goes to marriage counseling for one last effort to save their marriage. The counselor asks what the main problem seems to be.

"We disagree on everything. We basically have nothing in common"

The counselors thinks for a second and says "Well this is easy enough. Let's find som...

Youth Slang

Kids are always coming up with the strangest slang. Remember "on fleek" or when "dank" stopped meaning dingy?

I was working as a counselor at a summer camp one year. The kids came up with a new one and proceeded to absolutely run it into the ground. One day in the cafeteria, one of the ner...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

City Hall

The city counselors were discussing how to increase public attendance and participation at City Hall meetings. One counselor suggested bringing in a famous hypnotist-entertainer. The officials agreed, the hypnotist was engaged, and leaflets were printed and distributed.

A month later, City H...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pickled Penis(NSFW)

A woman and her husband were experiencing marital problems, to the point where they were no longer having sex. After visiting several counselors the problems were not resolved. The woman grew desperate, and was afraid to ask her husband for sex. In her desperation she visited a Gypsy, and explained ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.