An aide slides up to Trump and whispers in his ear discreetly
"Mr.President, one of your shoes is black, and the other is brown!"
, "Yes, I noticed it myself. I went to change but when I looked in the closet, the only other pair I had was also one black and one brown"
A politically-appointed medical research director had been busy pushing recruitment for round after round of hydroxychloroquine tests. After another poor result, a White House aide walked in. "Doctor, the President has demanded another HCQ test. Can you do it?"
The director sighs, rubs his temples, and sits back in his chair. "No. Quite frankly, I don't have the patients."
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?"
"We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
"Yes", she says, "I remember it well."
OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a...
Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.
Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its mea...
When the construction of the chief's new house was completed, he hosted a feast to thank these who aided him during the construction.
During the feast, everyone congratulates him and said: " You're extremely competent to build houses like this one here."
His wife heard the compliment and spoke for her husband: " Well, the credit isn't all my husband's, the credit goes to these who contributed! "
After the feast, ever...
A aide comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump
"Sir, three Brazilian solders were killed in Afghanistan last night." Trump looks absolutely devastated, nobody's ever seen him like this. He sinks back in his chair, saying OMG over and over.
Then he composes himself and says: "Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
More an anecdote than a joke, but still telling....
As Japan invaded Manchuria, the Chinese general called in his aide for daily reports.
On day one, the aide said, "Not good. More than 2000 Chinese dead, just seventeen Japanese dead."
The general dismissed him without a word.
Next day, the aide somberly reported, "1700 Chinese ...
Trump hears Obama got a smaller crowd than him
"Really? What was he doing?" Trump asks gleefully
"Ordering breakfast at McDonalds drive thru." His aide said.
A senior West Wing staffer told Trump that...
...he had a dream, and in that dream Trump got his huge military parade after all, complete with hundreds of thousands of cheering, flag-waving people lining the streets.
"Was I smiling?" Trump asked.
"I don't know," the aide replied. "It was a closed casket."
So Donald Trump was talking to one of his aides, and off on one of his usual rants
“We need less immigrants! Less Mexicans! Less Colombians! Less Guatemalans! Less Puerto Ricans!”
Finally the aide couldn’t take it anymore, leaned in and said quietly: “fewer.”
“I told you not to call me that yet!!”
Trump asks his aides how the press has rated his performance yesterday..
His assistant opens the newspaper to a headline: A complete ****show! - four stars, mr. President!
A congressional aide asks the politician, “What should we do about this abortion bill?”
Politician: Shh. Just pay it.
Russian emergency !
Russian President Putin called President Trump with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried.
"My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!"
"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within t...
Two presidential aides are having coffee in a back room at the White House. “Sometimes I wish we worked for the pope and not the president,” one of them says.
“Why?” asks the second aide.
“Because then we’d only have to kiss his ring.”
George W. Bush is sitting with his aides...
and he is getting debriefed on the world news of the day. The news is rather mundane and unexciting, but one of his aides states that 3 Brazilian people perished in a plane crash early this morning.
Dubya's reaction is pure shock and grief, he's shaking and can't control his emotions. ...
Love at Last!
George, age 92 and Edith, age 89 are all excited about their decision to get married.They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. George suggests they go in and he addresses the man behind the counter.
"Are you the owner? "The pharmacist answers, "Yes". <...