and he is getting debriefed on the world news of the day. The news is rather mundane and unexciting, but one of his aides states that 3 Brazilian people perished in a plane crash early this morning.
Dubya's reaction is pure shock and grief, he's shaking and can't control his emotions. ...
Putin summoned an aide and said,
“I know you spread jokes about me. It's impertinent." Aide:: "Why?" Putin “I am the Great Leader, Teacher, and Friend of the people after all." Aide: "I swear, I have never told anybody this joke."
Trump Finally Gets His Parade
One of Trump's aide says to him, "Sir, I had a dream you got your parade. It was miles and miles long winding through Washington DC. Joyful Americans lined the route, literally in the millions. People were laughing, cheering, playing in the street. You were riding in the most beautiful carriage." ...
An aide slides up to Trump and whispers in his ear discreetly
"Mr.President, one of your shoes is black, and the other is brown!"
, "Yes, I noticed it myself. I went to change but when I looked in the closet, the only other pair I had was also one black and one brown"
Vladimir Putin, surrounded by his aides and bodyguards.....
visits a modern art exhibition. "What the hell is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" he asked. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain."
"Ah-h… And what i...
A congressional aide asks the politician, “What should we do about this abortion bill?”
Politician: Shh. Just pay it.
A aide comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump
"Sir, three Brazilian solders were killed in Afghanistan last night." Trump looks absolutely devastated, nobody's ever seen him like this. He sinks back in his chair, saying OMG over and over.
Then he composes himself and says: "Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"
President's Aide: "Mr. Trump, the dry cleaners called and wanted to let you know...
You left two supreme court justices in your pocket when you dropped your suit off."
New hearing aide
A friend of mine got new a hearing aid and he was ecstatic over how much better he could hear.
"It's like night and day", he said. "I can't believe all the sounds I was missing"
I asked, "What kind is it?"
He answered "about a quarter to four"
Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.
Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its mea...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by ISIS in Syria.
The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.
The CNN Reporter said, "Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.”
The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger &am...
Partied so hard last night I spilled Kool-Aide on my cocaine
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A guy gets put in a nursing home by his son. He doesn’t know if he’s going to like it at first, but he decides to give it a shot for his son’s sake.
The first morning in the nursing home he wakes up with a hard on. Out of nowhere a beautiful nurse's aide walks in, bends over & blows him without saying a word. The guy gets on the phone with his son and says, "Son, I love this place! Thank you so much for putting me in this nursing home....
A lone sniper was just about to assassinate Donald Trump.
Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him. He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse" A shot rang out and Trump fell dead. As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse" 'I'm sorry" he said "I ...