How do you turn an idiot into a nutritionist?

tell them you're vegan

My nutritionist told me to only eat foods if I could pronounce their ingredients

I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry.

A nutritionist tells an anorexic patient, "You are what you eat."

The anorexic person yells back in an offended tone, "So you're saying that I'm nothing?!"

What do a nutritionist and a final boss in a video game have in common?

They both enjoy a full health bar.

My nutritionist told me to avoid Trans Fats

I'm gonna miss Tumblr so much.

A nutritionist throws a party

A few minutes in, the doorbell rings. One guest walks up to the door and says,"It's Thomas from work!"

"Well," replied the nutritionist, "In-vitamin."

A nutritionist is giving a speech at a conference on eating healthy

Red meat is terrible for your metabolism, soda rips apart your gastric wall. Fast food is almost all fat and sugar but there's one food that is the worst of all. Almost all of us eat it sooner or later and the negative effects can last for years after a single consumption. Does anyone know what this...

What should you do if a nutritionist knocks on your door?


(Note: this only works with an American accent).

I got dumped by a woman that was a nutritionist.

She said, "Come back to me when you know what's good for you."

A woman wants to lose some weight

A woman wanted to lose weight so she joined a gym. She hired the best personal trainer the gym had.

After a few months of working out with him she still had not lost any weight. The trainer believed it was because she was still eating unhealthy at home. He suggested she hire a nutritionist t...

Young Forever

Nutritionists say people who eat less tend to be younger in appearance. It is true. One of my friends hadn't eaten for 10 days, he's forever 25 years old now.

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