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Cosmetic Surgery Jokes

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.

Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

woman decides to get cosmetic surgery

She gets a face lift, a nose job and implants.


She was feeling a bit insecure about it after so on her first day out she goes to a restaurant. She asks the man behind the register what he thinks her age is. He guesses early 30s and she is delighted and says I am 43.


S...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Kardashian goes for cosmetic surgery...

So Kim goes to a cosmetic surgeon to get an ol' nip and tuck of her private parts. Getting rid of useless skin that’s attached to you is the 'in' thing to do these days, you know (no, I’m not talking about Kayne). Of course, she would like everyone involved in the operation to keep the affair high...

There's a new cosmetic surgery that makes you look like an Eskimo.

You might wanna look Inuit.

I'm not saying cosmetic surgery cured my depression

But it definitely put a smile on my face.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two blondes were discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.

The first blonde says, "I have to be honest. I am planning to get a boob job."

The second says, "Yea, I going to get my asshole bleached this week."

To which the first replies, "Whoooa, I just can't picture your husband as a blonde."

If anyone knows how to correct cosmetic surgery that's gone horribly wrong?

I'm all ears.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my wife to go shopping for a pair of great tits.

She thought I was talking about cosmetic surgery.

A middle aged woman suffers a heart attack...

... and meets God before being revived. He tells her not to worry; she's got at least 40 more years of life ahead of her.

Upon waking from surgery, she decides that with all that time left, and since she's at the hospital anyway, she'll get some cosmetic surgery... a face lift, a nose job, br...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So two women were eating lunch.

Two women were eating lunch and talking about cosmetic surgery. One said, "I'm getting a boob job." The other replied, "oh that's nothing. I'm getting my asshole bleached." The other woman then replies, "really? I can't imagine your husband as a blonde."

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