A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday.

This joke would be funny if it had a punchline wooden tit?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plastic surgeon was offering discounts on breast implants.

The sign read:

A sale of two titties

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants...?

One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimer's research....

This means by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.

God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”

With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s disc...

What do you call the cleavage between breast implants?

Silicon Valley

You hear about the girl-ghost who got accused of getting breast implants?

So rude. Everyone knows she’s got super-naturals.

The Tempur-pedic Mattress company has come out with a line of breast implants...

...They're mammary foam.

I asked an Italian plastic surgeon what he uses for breast implants

He just replied "Si"

My blonde friend got breast implants

I used to call her " little Connie", now she's just "Silicone"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apple breast implants

Apple is working on smart breast implants, which can adapt their shape and texture to suit your lifestyle. The iTit can be used charge your mobile devices while browsing, as cupholders, and even as a self defence device. Future app updates will include anti jiggle functions, as well as an automated ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Alabama family pay for their daughter’s butt implants?

It was a decision they could all get behind

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife tells her husband that she wants breast implants

Her husband says, "Why on earth would you want to do that? You look gorgeous exactly the way you are."

"But I'm not HAPPY!" the wife complains.

The husband replies, "Well, I want you to be happy. But we don't need to spend a ton of money on implants. All you need to do is rub some toi...

She was wearing a t-shirt that said Guess

So I asked her ... Implants?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the woman who stole the pair of breast implants arrested?

Identitty Theft

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My X-ray experience

Just went for an x-ray and the radiologist asked if I had any metal implants.



I replied: nothing much just balls of steel.

I heard about people using cedar instead of silicon for breast implants, but think about if it happened to you, it'd be super weird,

Wooden tit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about that group of women suing their plastic surgeon for faulty butt implants? Apparently their cheeks wont stop smacking together now...

It's a real ass claption lawsuit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two breast implants were arguing. After very insulting comment the other replied:

”That was so low, now you’re making an ass of yourself.”

OC. Using my time on the train productively. Sorry.

Breast implants are like potato chips.

You can't have just one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tech company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants.

A company spokesperson declared this is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their boobs without listening to them.

Getting breast implants is an experience you'll never forget.

Those mammaries will stay with you forever.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife thrust a picture under my nose. "What the fuck is this!" she asked. "Well," I calmly replied, "It appears to be a photo of me fondling your sister's massive breasts... But you do know that's not real, don't you, babe?" "Really? she said, calming down.

"Obviously" I replied, "They're implants".

Implantable Headphones

The past few years, people have been circulating articles saying that we'll all have to get chip implants under Obamacare. They reference the book of Revelation and say it's the mark of the beast. But I got to thinking; in-ear headphones get annoying and over-ears aren't that portable. So in the fut...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a crack house that sells breast implants?

A booby trap.

What do you call trendy internal prosthetics?

Hip implants

What's the difference between a dirty area where people wait for buses and a crab with breast implants

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a freak of nature able to somehow talk to humans about such matters

Jabba the Hutt hosts a piano playing competition.

So, several hundred musicians from across many galaxies gather in order to compete. Jabba is also competing, of course, and the song he picks to play is the Faerie's Aire. Now, he gets cybernetic implants just so he can play a complicated piece, but he believes that his piece alone played at a fairl...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.