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Botox Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just found out you can get Botox for your ballsack to get all the wrinkles out.

Pretty nuts, right?

Why don't coke-heads get botox?

They never want to decrease their number of lines.

Remember when Botox was a taboo subject?

Now when you mention it, nobody raises an eyebrow.

I got Botox and I asked the doctor “how many years younger will this make me look?”

He said “zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who also got Botox.”

The woman who injected her 8-year old daughter with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody.

The child didn't look surprised.

What do you call a man who has done botox?

Philip.

I told the women at work that botox doesn't make anyone look younger.

Nobody looked surprised.

Critics say Botox is too expensive...

...but I spoke to fifty people who just paid for the treatment, and none of them looked surprised.

Botox is overrated.

It’ll never make headlines.

Botox turns 17 this year

Don’t look surprised

Sandy, an older women in her fifties, has a near death experience...

...later, on the operating table. She sees God who tells her not to worry she has at least another thirty years to live.


Sandy decides she’s anyway in the hospital and she had another thirty years to live, she should make the most of it. She has plastic surgery on her face, Botox and bre...

They promised to botox my whole face...

...but it was just lip service.

What's a Botox Doctor's worst fear?

A Wrinkle In Time

A woman's husband dies of cancer when she is only 40 years old.

She prays and prays and one night God comes to her and tells her since she is so kind-hearted he will answer any question she asks. She tells God she always wanted to know how long she would live, and God replies that she will live to be 90 years old.

The woman decides that since she has so ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mrs. Parker and Baroness Von Hildebrand

There's this woman, let's call her Mrs. Parker. She is on a flight from Frankfurt to London. She's tired, she's had a long day. She gets on the plane, goes to her seat in economy class, window seat. She makes herself comfortable and tries to get some sleep.

Another woman comes and sits next ...

You know what’s weird about cosmetic procedures?

When people get plastic surgery, everyone looks shocked. But when people do Botox, nobody even raises an eyebrow.
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