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Tanning Jokes

I’m opening a new tanning salon in Africa.

Im going to call it Tanzania. (Tans in ‘ere)

Just got back from the tanning bed

Guess that’s not what my wife meant by get some Sunny D.

I took part in the sun tanning Olympics

...I got the bronze

As a ginger person, I find tanning to be easy

I just go sit underneath the full moon.

From my dad: What do you get when a blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a brunette?

Your camera.

Two blonds walk into a tanning salon…

The receptionist asks, “Are you two sisters?” One replies, “No silly, we’re not even Catholic”.

Three light-skinned gentlemen walked into a tanning salon

They were looking to get their tan. The owner of the salon were happy to recieve them and asked them what tans they wanted.

The first gentleman said he wanted a light tan, so the salon owner led him to a tanning bed that was colored caramel.

The second gentleman said he wanted a gold...

Hair Salons, Tanning Salons, Gyms, Spas, The Clinique Counter...

All closed.

It's getting ugly out there.

Last week I competed in the World Tanning Championships..

I came out with a Bronze..

When they didn't accept my discount, I gave my local tanning salon a low rating...

It seemed a little shady to me.

My local tanning salon is offering an Easter special

You know, in case you've been in a cave for the last few days.

I was tanning on the beach with my son.

After a while, he looked at me and said, "You're look like a lobster."

"Uh oh, do I need some sun tan lotion?" I asked.

He said, "No, you're just really ugly."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two bananas were tanning when a piece of poop floats by..

So there were two bananas tanning on the beach when a piece of poop floats by. The poop yells " hey the waters great, get in". The banana turns to the other banana and says " do you believe that ".

What happens when a crematory and a tanning salon share a building?

A fifth degree burn

Why was sin lying on top of cos at the beach?

They were tanning.

PresidentTrump is completely right about coronavirus treatment.

If you eat chloroquine phosphate, drink a pint of Chlorox, shoot-up rubbing alcohol, shove a flashlight up your , and crash on a tanning bed, you will never get Covid-19.

A woman tanning on the beach sees Michael Jackson.

She says “Hey, get out of my son”

math joke

a mathematician went to a church where tanning was not permitted. he had justt been at the beach so the priest told him to leave. He asked: why? the priest answered:

cos tan sin

Yo momma so fat...

When she's tanning at the beach, Greenpeace comes with 3 busses to pull her back in the water...

If I were black...

I'd stand in front of a tanning salon and laugh at all the customers.


Source: Neal Brennan

Look on the bright side

would be horrible advice to someone trapped in a tanning bed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three girls decide to swim across a long lake.

They want to find out which swimming style is better. So they each choose a different stroke. The race starts and all three start giving it their all not paying too much attention to the others. The brunette uses the front stroke and comes in first by about 5 mins. The red head shows up doing the ba...
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