UPJOKE
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If anybody wants any copies of Orthopedic Monthly...

I have back issues.

Do you know what type of jokes Orthopedic Surgeons like?

Humerus ones!

I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help with my posture,

but I stand corrected.

Did you hear about the guy who robbed an orthopedic surgeon?

He made a marrow escape.

What do you call the person who makes orthopedic foot braces?

A hobbler

My orthopedic surgeon came to see me after my hand surgery

he told me he thought my hand would recover nicely and i'd eventually become a rich man.

I asked him how he knew this and he said "I could feel it in your bones!"

Traditionally, orthopedic surgeons were strong and dumb.

But now they have power tools.

Mom and daughter action

A guy saw a lady at a bar. She was definitely attractive, but he could tell she was a little older, orthopedic shoes, wrinkles creeping up around the mouth and eyes. But after a few drinks these things faded away and he went and talked to her.

After a few drinks together they decided to head ...

I was having lower back pain from having to stand all day at work and my wife suggested I try orthopedic footwear.

I told her it wouldn't help but she insisted.

I stand corrected.

I watched a movie called "The Adjustment," about a Chiropractor who quits, goes back to school and becomes an famous Orthopedic Spine Surgeon. I didn't really like it.

Too much backstory.

A surgeon cut off the wrong leg at my hospital today!!!

The orthopedic surgeon at the local hospital I work at accidentally cut off the wrong leg of an infected diabetic patient. After he realized he cut off the wrong leg he couldn't leave the the other infected leg attached. So he had all of the administration and attorneys meet him in the operating ro...

What do you call a fish that is good for your bones?

An orthopedic sturgeon.
:D ?

Dr. Feelgood

I was using this new telemed procedure with my General Practitioner this morning and he wanted to give me a routine physical. Everything was going just fine and dandy until he showed me how to test my reflexes by tapping on his knee with a little hammer.

Unfortunately, I only had a 15-pound s...

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Trade cute Doberman Dog for orthopedic hand.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:

**NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN:**

Please be advised that anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a full Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider wheth...

Observation

The orthopedic surgeon Betty worked for was moving to a new office, and the staff was helping transport many of the items. Betty sat the display skeleton in the front of her car, his bony arm across the back of her seat. She hadn’t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares o...

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