My grandma had dementia in her later years and would tell me this joke every time I saw her: When your appendix is removed it’s called an appendectomy. When your uterus is removed it’s called a hysterectomy. What’s it called when you have a growth removed from your head?

A haircut. (And she’d laugh every time! I miss her terribly.)

Did you hear about the cow that had a hysterectomy?

She was decaffeinated

A Texan is in London, and looking for Razor blades

“Y’all got any American razor blades in here ?” the Texan asked the English pharmacist.

“All I see are these stupid Wilkinsons.” 

“Sir,” the pharmacist patiently replied, “Wilkinson has been producing the finest surgical instruments, weapons and razors since before Waterloo.” 

...

I get so bothered by people who use words without knowing what they mean

it always gives me a huge hysterectomy on the side of my head.

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed razor blade?

She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift.

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