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Concentrating Jokes

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One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!"

The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation.
The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit."
The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method ...

What do you call a car concentrating on crossing a river?

Ford Focus

When I was younger, I had a tough time concentrating in school

My parents told me that if I didn't improve, they would have to send me to Concentration Camp

Today I learned that I can make an ice cube melt just by concentrating on it and thinking ''Melt.''

I have to admit that it takes a lot longer than I expected.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife are laying in bed after sex.

"I hope you don't mind me saying, sweetheart." Whispered the wife, "A bit more concentrating on my clitoris would be a nice thing."

"I think you need to shut your mouth." He replied.

"There's no need to be like that." She stammered, getting upset. "I'm only trying to improve things in...

Little Jimmy said to his big brother: "Look at this! On my juice box! It says it's made with 100% pure concrete!"

"No no no, Jimmy. Concentrate!"

"I am concentrating!"

Guy comes home from work, finds his blonde haired wife sitting at the kitchen table.

Shes looking at the table, and concentrating super hard. She is visibly frustrated.

Husband asks "What's wrong honey?"

She replies, "I've been working on this puzzle all day. Its supposed to be a tiger, I can't get any of these puzzle pieces to match."

Husband sighs, "Honey... P...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Golf

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker.

"Would the gentleman on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee please!!"

I was still deep in my routine, seemingly ...

A blonde is walking beside a railway track.

A brunette passes her on the tracks skipping and singing "21, 21, 21..."
The blonde eagerly asks "May I join you?"
The brunette nods, and says, "You may, but only if you can REALLY concentrate."
"I can do that!" exclaims the blonde happily. And so, they both proceed to skip along the middle...

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Two drunks at a party..

Two guys go to a party and get **very** drunk.

They are sat at a table beside the dance floor, and one of them sets eyes on a lady on the opposite side, sat alone.

"Man, she's really beautiful, I'd like to have a dance with her." says the first guy.

"Which one?" says the second....

Got asked to help unlock a PDF file today...

I said no way, we should be concentrating on locking them up!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to see a psychologist.

He sits on the couch and says, "Doc I've been having a lot of trouble concentrating at work."

The doctor pulls out his inkblots. "What do you see when you look at this?" Holding the first inkblot up to the man's eyes, the man squints and replies, "Sex."

The doctor holds up a second ink...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There were two men in a car going way over the speed limit...

A cop caught up with them and pulled them over. He walked up to the driver side window and asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The driver decided to play dumb and replied, "Gee, I was too busy concentrating on the road to check."

The cop, not in the mood for any attitude, ...

75 story hotel

Phil, Jim, and John were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a 75 story hotel. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear the elevators were broken, and they now had to climb 75 flights of stairs.

Phil said to Jim and John,"let's break the monotony of th...

I was driving my wife to work this morning when she suddenly pushed my hand from the gear lever

"What are you doing?" I asked
"Well," she said, "I've kept quiet for too long and I'm sick of you not concentrating on your driving - you do the steering and I'll stir the petrol."

So I’m at the dentist yesterday...

So I’m at the dentist yesterday, the dentist has a needle deep in my gums. As he’s concentrating, he casually says, “how are fat chicks and bricks alike?” I was like “au-ha-oa-iea” (his hand still in my mouth) He goes “welp, sooner or later their gonna get laid by a Mexican.”

True story.

The number game

A redhead is walking along a railroad track saying "24, 24, 24, 24," etc. A blonde asks "watchable doing?" The redhead just continues on without acknowledging her, so the blonde begins walking along the track repeating "24" as well. A train comes and the redhead stepped off the track. The blonde is ...

I was carefully measuring out a dab of Cannabis extract for my roommate, when she said,

"Did you remember to-- Oh, nevermind; you're concentrating."

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