UPJOKE
mineralmetalminingironmineralsiron oresmeltingcoppergoldkronerockrefiningnickelminesmine

Ore Jokes

Trump says to Pence, "China's mining too many ores"

Pence: What are you going to do?
Trump: Order more tariffs to make them mine less.
Pence: Mine fewer.
Trump: Shhh, don't call me that yet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER."

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

Wow, this vein is full of ore!

That's probably why he died.

Ford should manufacturer a sedan called the Ore

It would be the four-door Ford Ore

My wife bought me some iron ore for Christmas.

She seems to have misunderstood when I asked for a slag.

Have you heard of the kid who died breaking ore?

He was so young. Only a miner.

A man asks a blacksmith to refine some ore....

The blacksmith says "put the ore on the bench, then beat it. I'll do it once I've finished up at the grindstone". The man says to the blacksmiths assistant "that was rude" and the assistant replies "what can I say, he has an axe to grind".

A miner is selling raw ore...

He's approached by a blacksmith who says, "I'll take it."
The miner questions, "Which one?"
Blacksmith replies," Either ore."

BADUMTISSSS

What's the best thing about sleeping with a geologist?

The ore-gasms.

Steel producers are grappling with the high price of iron...

...they say it's a terrible ore deal.

(An ore-ful joke, I know.)

Girl, are you an iron-bearing ore?

Because when I smelt you, I got taken to a whole other level of civilization..

I just found an enormous ravine so full of precious metals, I immediately came in my pants.

It was a *huge* ore chasm.

What is quantum metal smelted from?

Either ore

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A general approaches hitler

“Sir, our mining operations are overwhelmed, we aren’t able to ship what we produce. We are simply producing far too many tons of ores!

Hitler responds: “Just mine less”

A grammar nazi interjects: “Mine fewer”

Why is buying raw iron such a pain in the ass?

I don't know. It's just a real ore deal.

A man was out on a fishing trip

When suddenly, he dropped one of his oars into the water, frustrated that he couldn't get the boat moving, he decided to seek help.

He saw someone with two beautiful women on his boat who also had a spare oar. "Excuse me, may I borrow one of your oars?" he yelled.
The man appeared offended...

What do you say when you break up with an electrician?

Watt is love?

Baby don't hertz me.

Don't hertz me.

N-ohm-ore.

N-ohm-ore.

I wrote this joke just for this sub, because people wrongly complain there are never any original jokes here: What's a ferrous particle's favorite constellation?

*Ore-ion*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler is speaking to his advisers...

He was surrounded by all of the lead managers and advisers of his entire Reich. His main adviser told him how amazing and efficient Germany was.

"All of ze industries are over performing and creating enough resources for ze new world. Except perhaps ze mining industry, sir. Zey are performin...

I heard they want to subvert the culture of the mining industry by phasing out the word 'mine'

They want to call it an ore well.

The dentist said that he could knock me out with gas, or he could use a big metallic rock.

I said ether/ore.

It took me quite a while to iron out this joke

There once was a greedy ore mining magnate who wished that everything he touched would turn into iron. He was careful to always wear gloves except when making huge loads of ore, except for one day when a mosquito landed on his knee. Not thinking, the magnate slapped his leg with his exposed hand. Hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the mining museum last Saturday

I was in ore.

So my great uncle louie…

So my great uncle louie worked his whole life in the iron mines outside of Pittsburgh.

The work is hard, but It's harder to meet women in that industry. Except the day he found a beautiful rock at work and started bringing it around town and to family gatherings.

My great uncle Louie w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gus the Accountant

Gus has been doing accountancy for like 35 years and he's sick of it.

So Gus decides he wants some adventure in his life, so he's going to become a prospector.

Everyday he studies geology, he learns how to drive a big truck and operate an excavator and he starts selling up everything h...

Deciding whether to buy gold or silver...

...is an either ore situation

I went for a tour of a mine the other day

I was in total ore

My father was a commercial miner his whole life, but he only mined silver and gold. On his deathbed, I asked him what his favorite metal to mine was... he said

“Either ore.”

German Mining Company

German miner, "herr supervisor, we're working so many hours and we're so efficient that within a year we will run out of ore to mine."

Mine Supervisor, "this is a problem. A very bad problem."

Miner, "what do you suggest we do?"

Supervisor, "Mein Fuhrer."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler is chairing a Nazi economic meeting.

The Reich’s Commerce Minister is delivering a tremendously boring report on minerals, and Hitler is about to nod off. “We are mining too many ores that are useless to the war effort. We need to mine less,” the minister says.

The Reich’s Chief Engineer, who is a stickler for grammar, is irrita...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] What do male pornstars and miners have in common?

They both specialise in drilling 'ores.

Why are indecisive miners the worst?

because all day they deal with ores.

The Robot Family.

It's a big night for XR-573, the patriarch of the robot family. Not only are all three of his sons going to be over for dinner for the first time in years, but all three of them have brand new fiancées! XR-573 and his wife Z7-271 are both very excited to see their children and learn all about their ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chemical Analysis of Women

Item: Chemical Analysis



Subject: Women



Symbol: Wo



Discovered by: Adam



Atomic Weight: Average expected as 150lb, but there are known isotopes ranging from 100lb to 250lb.


Occurrence: Surplus quanti...

You should kill me for this but...

Did you see the engraving under the mineral sculpture of the famous punner's head? It said, "Wordplay Ore Bust"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hideous little orc is in the kingdom's capital, looking to acquire medicine for his sick mom.

Nobody can stand the sight of him, with some even threatening violence of he doesn't leave.
He finds and alchemist's medicine shop at the market and tells him about his mother's illness.

"Ah, but of course!" says the alchemist, "It's clearly a case of Sakiara Fever. It's not very common at...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fishing with Jesus

A guy is out in a canoe fishing with Jesus when while reeling in a fish he gets a little excited and knocks the ores overboard. Oh shit now what are we going to do? Relax say's Jesus I got this, and gets out and walks over to the paddles, grabs them and walks back to the canoe.Later on in the bar th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Leprechaun Thief

I met a Leprechaun once, in a pub in Ireland. He was just minding his own business when I sat down on the stool next to him and ordered my drink.

"Your favourite Stout, please.", i said to the bartender. The Leprechaun turned his head and sized me up.

"You're a proper lad", he quipped....

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.