UPJOKE
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Keeping fruit juice in the freezer

It's impopsicle!

So I’m standing here waiting for fruit juice when my buddy asks where we are.

I told him we’re in the punchline.

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One time I was at a party and noticed a large group of people patiently waiting their turn to fill their cups with some sort of fruit juice cocktail. Gesturing towards the gathering, I asked one of them "What is this?"

"This is the punch line"

Father and son are drinking fruit juice. ....

And after seeing how the juice is made....

Son: Is there any machine where we put in juice and it gives out fruit?

Father: Ofcourse there is!!! You are the fruit of that machine!

[Request] Jokes about fruit juice? I know it's random ^^ sorry

I've been tasked with finding jokes/puns or even short skits about fruit juice (for school).
Thanks in advance for your replies :)

My joke about a sequence of people awaiting their turn to get some fruit juice, got me banned from /r/jokes...

...because I put the punchline in the title...

I was at a party and there was a big bowl of mixed alcohol and fruit juice, with a long line of brain surgeons, rocket scientists, and Nobel prize winners all queuing up to drink it...

...I thought what a great punch line.

What travels faster than the speed of light?

Hi-C fruit juice drinks.

A man accomplishes his life-long dream of becoming a stand-up comedian

However, he does not find any success in the field. His jokes are poor and quite predictable. So, after a couple of weak performances, he quits comedy. Frustrated, he punches at a punching bag, and finds it weirdly satisfying. So, he decides to take up a career in professional boxing as a means to f...

"I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life...

...What they don't tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning you juicer."

-Kyle Dunnigan-

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What is the difference between jam and jelly?

Jam is made from whole or cut up pieces of fruit with sugar.

Jelly is made from only the fruit juice and sugar.

Did you think I was going to say "I can't Jelly my dick up your ass"?

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Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...

A bumblebee and a honeybee meet on the corner.

The bumblebee says "Hey, little bro, how's it going?" and the honeybee says "Oh, so, so bad. It's been a horrible summer, hardly any flowers, and there's next to nothing in the hive."

"I can give you a hot tip," says the bumblebee. "Go half a block south, then fly over the house to tbe back y...

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly?

Jam is made from crushed, pureed fruit and Jelly is made from fruit juice that gels when cooked.

What'd you think I was gonna say? Get your head out of the gutter.

A chemist went to see a doctor

"Doctor, I don't feel thirst and keep finding myself always dehydrated". "Drink 8 glasses of fluid a day as a guideline" adviced the doctor.

"Can I count in fruit juice?" asked the man. "Since they do contain a bit of sugar, don't forget to supplement the fluid intake with H20 too" replied th...

I went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached me and asked...

MAID: -What would you like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?

ME: -Tea pls.

MAID: -Ceylon Tea, Indian Tea, Herbal Tea, Kericho Gold Tea, Bush Tea or Green Tea?

ME: -Ceylon Tea pls.

MAID: -How do you want it, black or white?...

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Just got back from an r/jokes themed party.

It was terrible. Almost everyone was a twin or a triplet so it felt like I kept bumping into the same people over and over, and whenever somebody knocked on the door everyone just asked who it was rather than actually answering it. To top it off, when after waiting 45 minutes I finally got to the f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes...

"Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?"

"Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry"

A girl from a strict family.

There was a girl from a very strict family. Her father absolutely hated fruits and no one in the family was allowed to eat them. As far as the girl knew her Uncle had died from choking on an apple which is why they were banned.

All through her school years she longed to taste any fruit, s...

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