UPJOKE
credulitycompassionvanitygreedshilldefraudtrustswindlerchiselerchisellerdefraudergougergrifterscammercon man

Con Artist Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rapist and con artist get caught by the sheriff in a small town.

The town doesn’t have much money to take care of prisoners so the sheriff gets an idea. He decides he’ll charge money to let the townspeople punish the crooks and use the money to keep them in jail for as long as he can. The sheriff figures even a short stay in jail will be plenty after a little “ju...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OC] These con artists tried to sell me a glass dildo.

Fortunately, I could see through the hole-fucking thing.

Where does a con artist stay when camping?

The answer is in the content!

A perv, a con artist, and a facist walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What can I get you, Mr. President?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Con artist warning!

A warning to all the guys:
Two girls have been reported to steal men's wallets.
They use the following scam:
The girls wait in the parking lot of a big superstore. Once they have spotted their victim, they will ask him for a ride to the city.
One will get on the passenger seat, the other...

Why do ghosts make terrible con artists?

Because you can see right through them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While a Teacher was educating her class on how to recognize con artists she noticed one of her students looking down

She pauses her lecture and walks next to the desk of the gloomy child.

"Dear what seems to be the problem?" She asks

The student looks up and says "my mother is in the hospital and my dad is in the police station"

"Oh dear god, you should be at home instead of school! Here I'll ...

What do you call a con artist panda?

A bamboozler

What did the con artist say about his old tent?

This is original con tent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rapist and con artist gets caught by the sheriff in a small town.

But he gets released because sitting presidents can't be indicted.

Why did the stonemason break up with the female con artist?

She took him for granite.

What do you call an economist who sells fake paintings online?

An E-con artist.

Never trust people who sketch facial composites for police reports.

They're con artists.

Growing up I wanted to famous for painting prisoners...

But my mother told me I couldn't; she said there's no good money in becoming a con artist.

A police officer was facing a dilemma.

A handful of individuals were brought into the precinct, each with different amounts of cash and gold stuffed in their pockets. Some were professional heisters, others were just average con artists.

He was asked to distinguish between both groups based on how much they had hidden in their po...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jake goes to an auction and bids the highest on Dave's painting of a Horse eating grass.

The painting is to be delivered to Jake's house by next day.

Jake receives the painting next day and uncovers it. To his surprise, the so called painting is just a empty white paint board. There was no art on it.

Jake, paying $100,000 for the painting, panics and calls Dave to get some...

I've never bought anything from creators at convetions.

I don't trust con artists.

Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election.

If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.

A grade school teacher was asking students...

...what their parents did for a living.

Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!"

Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!"

Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a professional con artist!"

The teacher couldn't believe what she had just heard, so she...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.