The 69+ Best Solo Jokes

Why did Han Solo cry during his steak dinner?

Because it was Chewie.

Why wasn't Princess Leia married before she met Han Solo?

She was looking for love in Alderaan places

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Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?

...it was Luke warm.

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Bass Solo

A couple goes to see a marriage counselor. They say their marriage is on the rocks because they never speak to each other.

The counselor tries to get them to talk, but they just sit there with their arms folded and their mouths closed. He tries playing games. He tries tricking them. Nothing h...

What did Princess Leia say to Han Solo on their wedding night?

Into the garbage chute, flyboy!

Han Solo is chilling in his room when suddenly the light goes out.

He tries to fix the bulb, but after an hour of laborious effort, he gives up.

He heads over to Yoda's place to see if he can help. As Yoda opens the door, he spots a huge machine with flashing lights, beeping in the middle of the room.

"What's this?" he asks Yoda.

"A cloning m...

I saw Han Solo crying while eating his beef.

Later I asked why. He said it was chewy.

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This white dude gets engaged, and decides to take a solo vacation to Jamaica.

Before he leaves, he gets his fiancé’s name, Wendy, tattooed on his prick. He has the tattoo artist make it so, that when he’s flaccid, his tattoo would spell WNY. When he was erect, it would spell out her full name. He arrives in Jamaica, and is having the time of his life. While at one of the nude...

Luke Skywalker: "You smoke Han Solo?"

Han Solo: "No."

Luke Skywalker: "What about Chewbacca?"

Han Solo: "No, I don't do that either."

What’s Han Solo’s favorite gum?

Big League Chewie

Han Solo : Yoda, are you sure we're going in the right direction?

Yoda : Off course we are.

What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.

Longest Drum Solo

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 25 minutes and it was performed by a child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

What do you call flying solo in the mile high club?

A Hijacking.

My dad and I were invited for dinner at the house of the soccer player Hope Solo.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

What did Han solo do on Hoth?

He kept Lukewarm

I asked my daughter why Harry Styles left his band to go solo.

She said he wanted to go a different direction.

A regular golf course member is going for her regular solo 7:00am tee-off.

She makes a good putt to save par on the first green. As she walks along the long grass going to the second tee, she startles a wasp, and it stings her. Annoyed, but not wanting the event to ruin her day, she finishes her round.

When she gets to the clubhouse, she runs into the club pro....

Why did Han Solo become a vegetarian?

Because the last steak he ate was really Chewy.

Casinos make a lot of money from Han Solo

They never tell him the odds

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Darth Vader walks into his local record shop and asks for a copy of George Michael's debut solo album

The guy behind the counter says "I'm sorry, it's out of stock."

Darth Vader shakes his head and says "I find your lack of Faith disturbing..."

Why did Han Solo call Chewbacca a noob?

He made a Wookiee mistake

What did Han Solo say when he saw Luke Skywalker eating without cutlery?

“Use the Forks, Luke”

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What does a drum solo and premature ejaculation have in common?

You know what's coming but there's fuck all you can do about it.

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A dude walks into a restaurant and says,

"Where's the fucking manager you cock-sucker?"

The host is surprised and replies, "Excuse me, but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can."

The manager comes over and the dude asks, "Are you the fucking manager of thi...

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So she said "I love you" in the heat of the moment and I pulled a Solo

Oh shit, you said "I know"?

No.

You "shot" first?

No.

You didn't make a tantan reference did you?

No.

Well then what the hell is a Solo????

I looked down at my little Skywalker and told him "You're all clear kid let's blow this thing and go home"

Steve Winwood began his solo career in 1977.

He would have started sooner, but he was stuck in traffic.

The world record for a drum solo is 10 hours and 17 minutes.

It’s held by the kid who sat behind me on American Airlines flight 86 from DFW to Paris.

What did Han Solo name his clone?

Han Duo

How come witches fly solo?

Because there's no broom left for anyone else.

My wife cuddled up to me and said ‘Be my Han Solo.’

Now she’s not talking to me, cause I said ‘OK, Chewie.’

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Mickey and Donald were sitting in a bar(credit to u/KamehameHanSolo)

So Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck are sitting at a bar and Mickey sighs and says to Donald, "So Minnie finally decided to leave me."

"Good riddance, you're better off without her," Donald says, "Just last week you were telling me how crazy she is."

Mickey looks at him and says, "Donald, ...

Han Solo ordered a steak in the shape of a Wookie.

He sent it back to the kitchen because it was a little chewy.

What did Yoda said to Princess Lea after separating with Han Solo

" May divorce be with you "

How is Han Solo in bed?

He shoots first

Han Solo keeps taunting he'll steal cars...

...he's harassin' Ford!

I hate all 1970s Female Solo Artists

What a bunch of Pre-Madonnas

3 dirty Star Wars jokes

1) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he finally got inside Princess Leia?

Because it was Luke warm

2) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he was eating Princess Leia?

Because she felt chewy

3) Did Han do the right thing when he confronted Leia about these?

No, that nig...

What was Han Solo's reaction after eating a Momo?

Hmm... Chewie.

What happens when Nurgle has an affection for Han Solo?

Nurgle would try to Wuhan....

Han Solo goes to a restaurant and orders a steak. The waiter asked how tender he’d like his steak to be.

Han said “Make it Chewie.”

Did you hear Han Solo will be running next years London Marathon?

He says he reckons he'll be able to finish in less than 26 miles

C3PO, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo are taken prisoner on an alien planet

The Millennium Falcon had to make an emergency stop on an uncharted planet. The trio is greeted by a hostile alien race and placed in a horrendous prison.

After some time they are taken in the night to some kind of tribunal where they are told that all outsiders are regarded as evil demons an...

Han Solo was very depressed when his son went to the dark side. All of his friends were wondering . . .

Why’s Han so low?

What did Han Solo’s last name change too after he married Leia?

Han Duet.

Watching Solo die was my favorite part of The Force Awakens....

Han's down.

It's amazing that Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins both went solo back in the day

There was a real Exodus from Genesis

Kylo Ren: I've always hated being an only child

Han: You're not an only child. You're a Solo child.

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An apprentice mortician is doing his first solo.

It turns out to be a 95 yo woman who died of natural causes. The head mortician thinks it should be a simple one to start, so he leaves the apprentice to his work and heads to his office.

About an hour later, the apprentice comes and asks him for help.

“What is it?” The head morticia...

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus...

He puts the octopus down on a barstool and tells everyone in the bar,

"this is the world's most talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument you can find - in fact, i'll bet $100 that nobody here has an instrument that this octopus can't play."

Somebody in the bar pulls out a g...

Grampa popped by for a visit, solo. He seemed a bit bored.

*“Grampa, whatever happened to that lady friend of yours?”

“She died.”

“Why did she die?”

“Gonorrhoea.”

“Grampa, people don’t die from gonorrhoea!”

“They do if they give it to me.”*

Why did the skeleton hit the party solo?

He had no body to go with him.

Sad saxophone solo

The policeman takes back his breathalyzer

\-How did you do that?

A Young Vulture is sick of eating dead things and wants to be a vegetarian...

So he asks his parents whether they can start incorporating some vegetables into their meals.

His father is ashamed of him and says 'No'.

So the young vulture asks if he could bring a carrot to dinner and his mother and father tell him that he is a disgrace to the family and to put the...

With the last decade's drought of big-screen solo superheroines, you could say...

...the industry's been waiting for Gadot.

I'll show myself out.

What do you get when you perform a bad vocal solo to a crowd of mosquitoes?

Malaria.

What song does Han Solo play when he flies away from Cloud City?

Bailando

What did Han Solo say to the Keebler elf who complained he couldn't understand Chewbacca?

Sorry friend, that's the way the Wookiee mumbles.

Why did Han Solo get an 'F' in Statistics class?

Because he kept telling the teacher, "Never tell me the odds!"

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A bloke walks into an extremely posh restaurant, sits down and waives the waiter over. "I want to see the cock-sucking, mother-fucking boss now," he says.

The waiter is naturally a bit taken aback and replies "Excuse me, sir, would you refrain from using that kind of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can."

The manager comes over and the bloke says "Are you the chicken fucking manager of this bastard joint?" "Yes sir, I am", ...

"When drums stop...very bad."

An English explorer was trekking through a remote jungle with a local wise man he had hired as a guide. Two days into their journey, far from civilization, they began to hear the faint, slow beating of drums in the distance.

*Dum. Dum. Dum. Dum.*

The Englishman said to the wise man, “I...

In a way, Han Solo was a bit like a modern Icarus.

They both got too close to the son.

The inventor of the Red Solo Cup had died.

His body was found under the sofa in the living room three days after his death.

What do you call a terrible performance of Han Solo: The Musical?

A rebel without applause.

Did you know Han Solo had an employment agency?

Han Jobs

A horse is sitting at home, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the m...

A man walked into a bar with his pet octopus.

He went up to the counter and bet everyone in the bar $50 that they couldn’t bring the octopus a musical instrument that it couldn’t play.

One man pulled an old guitar off the wall that hadn’t been tuned in years and gave it to the octopus.

The octopus took the guitar, tuned it right ...

"You must be an engineer"

A man is flying solo in a hot air balloon and he discovers that he is lost. He lowers altitude until he can see a guy walking through a field.

He says to the guy, "Hey, where am I"?
The guy replies, "You are in a hot air balloon about 8 feet above farmer Jack's field."
The balloon ...

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A young man volunteered for the military during WW2.

He had such a high aptitude
for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola skipping boot camp. The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.
On his fi...

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