UPJOKE
spammerswindlercheatercompassioncon artistcon manblackmailervanityimposterdupecounterfeiterextortionistgreedshillphishing

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I had a call from a scammer the other day

Me: “Hello.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.”

Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.”

Me: “Oh jeez. How can I fix it?”>...

A pastor, a scammer, and a child molester

walks into a bar.

An American, An Indian and a Brazilian were arrested in Brazil

A Brazilian judge senteced them to rounds of whipping, but since the judge was merciful he decided to give all three of them one wish

The judge to the american: You're american, i dislike your people, too many guns and you're too fat, what's your wish?

The American: i want a pillow tie...

What's an internet scammer's favorite sport?

Phishing.

I’m writing a book about the advantages and disadvantages of being both an author and a scammer.

It’s called Prose and Cons

Why don't scammers carry wallets?

Because they don't keep cache.

I often get asked what it's like to work as both a writer and a scammer...

I just say that it has its own Prose and Cons

City Scammer

A scam artist from the city needs to lay low for a while an goes to a faraway village where nobody knows him.



He thinks to himself: "These people are probably not as smart as the city folk and I could probably get away with a few scams. It'll be easy pickings."



He goes ...

What do you call an Irish scammer that has leprosy?

A Leper Con

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If you pay money to scammers who email you to say they have video of you masturbating to porn, it will be for one of two reasons:

Either they saw you coming, or they saw you coming.

Watch out for those St. Patrick's Day scammers

Just had a guy try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said 'Made in China.

Obviously a sham rock.

I translated this joke from Arabic

An engineer school graduate opened a clinic. If he were able to solve the patient's problem he would charge £1000. However, if he couldn't treat the patient he would give them £5000.

The engineer was soon making more money than the real doctor's clinic nearby. The doctor was confused and deci...

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A Soda Called Sup

Back in the 80's, the Coca-Cola company sold Sup, a combination of Sprite, 7 Up, and a secret ingredient that was never revealed. It was a beloved beverage that was unfortunately discontinued within a couple months and without any intention of going back on store shelves. People started buying Sup l...

This takes place in a society where everybody is born really weak.

The more wealth you have, either through actual money or possessions, the more you would reach your maximum Power Percentage or for short, PP. Most people had around a 50% power percentage, parents would give some of their belongings to their kids at birth so they would be strong enough to walk, but...

Goose that gave golden eggs

A hunter was on his way back to the village holding a dead goose he caught. He met a scammer from another village on the way. The scammer decided to try his skills on the hunter. Scammer claimed that the goose was his goose that laid one golden egg everyday and now hunter must compensate him for his...

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