I saw a book on Amazon titled “How to Solve 50% of your life’s problems.”

Naturally I ordered two copies.

You know, for a song titled, "Piano Man..."

The guy with the harmonica sure won't shut the hell up.

I wrote a book titled ‘Do Not Touch’.

Sales have done very well, except for the Braille prints.

A women took a nap on New Years Eve...

A women took a nap on New Years Eve.

When she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do you think it all means?”

He replied, “Aha, you’ll know tonight!” At midnight, her husband handed her a small gift-wrapped pres...

Did you hear the one about Schroedingers failed early experiments with ice boxes?

He titled his paper “Ice Ice Maybe”.

I got a book titled ‘A Guide to Surgical Procedures’.

I opened it up and the appendix was missing.

Did you hear the joke titled 'from seconds to minutes'?

It's about time.

I was really excited when I picked up a book titled “69 Mating positions”.

Turns out it was about chess.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

IF YOU SEE A LINK TITLED “JAMES CHARLES NUDE”, DON’T CLICK ON IT.

#IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR KEYBOARD ON PERMANENT CAPS LOCK.

I wrote a movie script.

So there's this dangerous threat to the planet, and humanity has to work together to defeat it.

But there's a group of people who are activly trying to sabotage mankind and cause their downfall.



The movie is titled: **UNVACINATED**

An English lady, while vacationing in Switzerland, fell in love with a small town and the surrounding countryside.

She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Nsfw)Went to pornhub the other day there was a lot of videos titled "bbc destroys teen"...

I don't know why the British Broadcasting Corporation is destroying the lives of teens..but I for one think it shows lack of journalistic integrity.

In 8th grade english class I wrote a script titled "The Pun"

The very first set description in the script said that the stage was to be painted over with random words and phrases.


When I handed in the assignment, my teacher came up to me and asked: "Why is your script titled 'The Pun' and why is the floor covered with phrases?"

"Because m...

I've just finished writing a script for a film I titled "American Schools"

Shooting starts soon.

A woman living on a shtetl in Poland goes to see her rabbi

"Rabbi!" she says. "My son Avram has a very strange fear - he is afraid of kreplach!"

The rabbi says, "Kreplach? He's afraid of the meat dumplings we make for Rosh Hashanah?"

She nods. "Yes. I've tried to tell him there's nothing to be afraid of, but whenever he sees kreplach he runs o...

They are working on a new movie to be titled Constipation

No idea when it's going to come out

China's national anthem is titled 'March of the Volunteers'

But most people are forced to sing it.

I just read an article titled, "100 Things To Do Before You Die"

I was quite surprised that, "Yell for help!" wasn't one of them.

My favourite thing to do is to walk into book stores and say “Hello! I'm looking for a book titled ‘How to deal with rejection without killing’.”

“Do you have it?”

I just received an email titled $50 TO SEE JUSTIN BIEBER LIVE

I'm really the wrong person to email for these kind of ransoms.

I bought the book titled "How to beat procrastination" to fix my procrastinating habit.

It's been 5 months already and I haven't opened that book yet.

I'm writing a musical titled "Pun"

It's a play on words.

I've just finished reading a brilliant book titled, "How to avoid getting ripped off".

Best $600 I have ever spent!

NSFW My wife went to see a murder mystery film titled "Glory holes and murder"

When she came back home, she looked really wide eyed. "I said you look shocked"
She said "yes, a surprise ending, but I never saw it coming..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saw the movie titled Constipation?

I bet you didn't because it isn't out yet.

/crappy joke , I know ;-)

I wrote a research paper on tuberculosis titled “TB”

Instead of a grade next to the title the professor just added a “D.”

So I guess that means it’s still to be determined....

NBC is contemplating a new TV series titled "Airline Tragedies."

They are putting the pilot together right now.

I want to make a music playlist titled: "Sausages"

Cause every song on it is a banger

IRS is disbanding!

I just received a letter from them titled "Final Notice".

I was browsing through a section in the bookshop titled "Advertising for Idiots."

It said "Buy one and get a second one for the price of two."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We had student's contest for the best short story of the first sex experience. The obvious winner was titled:

"Home Alone"

After hours of working on every syllable of this masterpiece, I bring you a haiku I've titled "Truth in hindsight"

The sky is blue

The grass is green

Jetfuel can't melt steel beams

Just got a scam email sent to me..

It was titled "Squadron 42 Update"

Yesterday I gave my food to a beggar.....

....and today the beggar gave me a book titled "HOW TO COOK".

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