What operating system did the ancient Egyptian Pharaohs use?

Ubuntutankhamun

What Operating System does the Infinity Gauntlet use?

ThanOS

Which operating system does Varys run his spy network on?

Unix; it was decided for him.

What's a narcissists' favorite operating system?

Windows Me

I'm using an operating system to wipe out half of the population in this universe...

It's called ThanOS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 operating systems walk into a bar

The first says "I'm Windows. The most popular, everyone likes me and I don't mess about. I'll have a pint of lager."

The second says "I'm Mac OS. I'm the favourite of artists and hipsters, and I could never settle for a boring lager like Windows. Give me your hoppiest artisanal IPA!"

T...

What is Iron Man's least favorite operating system?

ThanOS

My operating system just deleted half my files.

I knew I should’ve never installed ThanOS.

Why did the CPU kill the operating system?

It was executing instructions.

What operating system do they use in Germany?

Mac os Nein

Did you hear about the new computer Operating System called "Than" that selectively terminates half of all running programs?

We really needed "ThanOS" and it probably did nothing wrong.

Did you hear about the new operating system for people with herpes?

It's all open sores.

What is it with Germans and old operating systems

I keep hearing them say "DOS is good"

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven,

where Saint Peter gives him a nice, modern six-bedroom house with a pretty garden and a tennis court. Pleased with his lot, Bill quickly settles into the afterlife.

One day he is out walking when he bumps into a man wearing a fine tailored suit.

"That's really nice," says Bill. "Where ...

I had to call tech support for my computer the other day.

Tech Support: “It seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.”

Me: “So?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all ot...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The young woman who submitted the tech support message presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.

The query:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 unin...

A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot.

The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, "The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars."
"Why does that parrot cost so much?" the man wondered.
The owner replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer."
The man asked about the next parrot on the perch.
"That on...

Brilliant idea for a start-up

Imma build a new operating system which, when the disk gets full, randomly deletes half your files.

Gonna call it thanOS.

Phone troubleshooting

Recently had a phone for Christmas, a Pixel phone of which kept crashing. I tried everything, I tried to see if the protective casing was the issue, attempted to isolate the issue but to near no avail, I even sideloaded it with another version of android

Now I have found that the issue is tha...

What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer?

A co-operating system.

11 Geeky Jokes

1. What does a subatomic duck say “Quark”.

2. Why did I divide Sin by Tan, Just Cos.

3. Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

4. Why can’t you trust atoms, they make up everything.

5. A pen...

Stallman, Torvalds and Knuth have a conversation.

Richard M. Stallman, Linus Torvalds, and Donald E. Knuth
engage in a discussion on whose impact
on the computerized world was the greatest.
Stallman: "God told me I have programmed the best editor in the world!"
Torvalds: "Well, God told *me* that I have programmed the best operating sy...

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