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Computer Programming Jokes

What is the most commonly used computer programming language?

Profanity.

Got a B in my computer programming class

Call that a C++

Im thinking about studying computer programming next year...

So i can C# in 2020

God judges Satan vs Jesus in computer programming war.

God tells Satan and Jesus they are supposed to create the perfect computer program.

Satan starts off strong and within the first fifteen minutes has the rough architecture of his program figured out and designed.

30 minutes in and Satan is cruising along. Satan is getting all the laye...

There are only two certain things in computer programming life...

death and syntax (end).

I almost bought a huge library out of old computer programming books...

...but the ascii price was way too high.

A husband and wife who own a circus walk into an adoption agency looking to adopt a child.

"Are you sure the circus is the best place for a child?" asks the social worker. "I mean, all those dangerous animals, the constant traveling..."

"The animals are trained," says the wife. "And we have a state-of-the-art 55-foot motorhome equipped with a large nursery."

"How will you ed...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Best Computer Science Joke!

A man and woman are in a computer programming lecture. The man touches the woman's breasts.
"Hey!" she says. "Those are private!"
The man says, "But we're in the same class!"

Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

But doing the same thing over and over again and actually getting a different result - that's called Computer Programming.

The Final Battle of Jesus and Satan

It's not well known but the final battle between Jesus and Satan is actually a computer programming battle. Armageddon arrives and the battle begins. Jesus and Satan are both tasked with the most complicated programming task ever given. This is the type of task even Linus Torvalds would declare i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Switched Inputs

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immedi...

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