I was walking past a farm and a sign said, “Duck, eggs.” I thought, “That’s an unnecessary comma…”

– and then it hit me.

Whats the difference between a cat and a comma?

One is a pause at the end of a clause, and the other, well he has claws at the end of his paws!

Commas can really change the meaning in a sentence.

For example:
Ben is in a hurry.
Vs
Ben is in a comma.

My four favorite things

My four favorite things are chicken pot pie and omitting commas.

28 consonants, 3 vowels, a question mark and 1 comma went to court.

They're awaiting their sentence.

If not using commas was a crime

would it result in long sentences?

Learn the use of comma, save a wedding.

Do your best man.

Do your best, man.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is a comma just a well hung period?

Or is a period just a comma with a micropenis?

I've got another example of the importance of Oxford commas:

I passed a headstone the other day which read, "Here lies Tyler Goetz, a lawyer and a good man."

 

I just can't believe the three of them agreed on such ambiguous syntax.

My 3 Favorite Things

My 3 favorite things are the Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A comma is important in a sentence

For example...

I was helping my uncle jack, off a horse.

I was helping my uncle jack off a horse.

Did you know that a single comma can insult a head of state?

Trash is Putin, the garbage bin.

My friend was in a comma

The doctor said "Do you mean coma?" and I replied "No, it's just a short rest."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The comma button on my keyboard has an intermittent fault.

It doesn't work for short pauses.

Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma walk into a bar.

They both had a great time.

Commas matter

Let's listen to the doors.

Vs.

Let's listen to the commadoors

A man has been found guilty of overusing commas

The judge warned him to expect a very long sentence.

After years of saving, I finally have a comma in my bank account!

$ -1,250

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are 3 things I like

Fucking dogs and not using commas.

If I had a puppy I'd name it comma.

Why? Because of its small pause.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A question mark walks into a bar?

Commas are important people

Unless you consider them human, too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My nickname in the North Pole is 'comma'

I had sex with Santa's wife and separated the clauses

The real joke is in the commas

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he sa...

Now that we know how capitalization change a sentence's meaning, see what's a comma can do

"I'm back."

"Welcome back."

______

"I'm back."

"Welcome, back."

Now that's what I call a PUNctuation joke.

A comma is the difference between

"Yesterday, I met the strippers, Donald Trump, and Hillary Clinton."

and

"Yesterday, I met the strippers, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton."

The inventor of the Oxford Comma has died.

Tributes have been lead by JK Rowling, his wife and the Queen of England.

What do you call a convention for English teachers?

Comma-Con

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman's husband had been slipping...

in and out of a comma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times... When I got fired,...

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for /r/riddles but I think its more a joke

Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws

commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.