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Get Through Jokes

Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college.

I don't think I can ever repay you.
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There's one soup you have to like to get through a snow storm.

As long as you love Miso. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
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Why cant Egyptian crocodiles get through the 5 stages of grief?

They keep getting stuck in de Nile
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How long does it take to get through a labyrinth?

A minotaur two.
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This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A young couple doesn't have enough money to get through the month.

They try everything to earn some income. They put their furniture up for sale, but no one wants it. They ask friends and family for help, but no one supports them.

In despair, he says to her: "Unfortunately, I don't see any other way... You have to prostitute yourself, that's our last option!...

How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest?

Ewoks
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Blonde Wife

One winter morning during breakfast a husband and wife in Northern Minnesota were listening to the radio.

They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."
...
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How did the photon get through baggage check at the airport so fast?

It was traveling light.
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This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Why didnā€™t the elephant get through TSA?

Because itā€™s a fucking elephant

Guaranteed way to get through the covid19 quarantine and barely notice or remember it.

Tune to any local tv station and take a shot every time a commercial says ā€œuncertain timesā€.
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How did the serial killer get through the woods?

They used a psychopath.
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My girlfriend is how I get through tough times.

Been dating her for 5 years and I always keep her picture in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties in life I take out my wallet and stare at her picture. And it comforts me knowing that if I can survive being in a relationship with this psychopath I can survive anything
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What happened to the fly when he tried to get through a screen door?

He strained himself.
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How do crazy women get through the forest?

They take the psycho-path.
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I've been clean for 47 days now.

It's weird showering everyday but at least I have the heroin to get through it.
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I used to think that alcohol would help me get through my problems

It didn't help me solve anything. it was really just a solven't.
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How do Southerners get through customs so quickly?

They do declare!
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What's red, black, white, and can't get through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.
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What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through a Jimmy Fallon sketch without laughing.
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As an Australian student coming to America to study, I found it hard to get through customs...

"G'day, I'm here to study at uni."

"Which university are you going to, son?

"Yale, mate"

"I SAID WHICH UNIVERSITY ARE YOU GOING TO, SON?!?!"
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This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."

The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?"
"Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied.
"What happened?" inquired the pastor.<...

I think it's wonderful that some people can get through life relying on nothing more than their gut feelings.

But it must be extra excruciating for them if they get shot in the stomach.

"Oh no! I've been shot! I had a feeling this would happen."
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A lady in college complains about how it's taking so long to get through school. I tell her I know, I went for 8 years.

I'm still happy I stopped going after the 8th grade.
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Heard a Dr. on TV say to get through the boredom of self isolation we should finish things we start and thus have more calm in our lives.

So I looked through the house to find all the things Iā€™ve started but hadn't finished...so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz.



Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite...
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My wife keeps ignoring me, so I asked my friend what I should do to get through to her, and he said to listen to my heart.

I donā€™t think ā€œbeatā€ was the right choice.
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A schoolyard bully asked all of his usual victims to get together and be waiting for him so he could get through all of his beatings quickly this time, but none of them showed up.

End of joke. There was no punchline.
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This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him

"You stupid jerk! You cannot do anything to me", the lioness looks at the lion hearing that and gets surprised of his lack of reaction.

The monkey goes on "Imma fuck your momma you stupid lion!", the lion keeps ignoring the monkey, so the lioness asks "honey are you going to allow this peasa...

Why don't you see brown envelopes in the mail anymore?

Because everyone knows white mails get through the system faster.
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