Damn babe are you a Minneapolis police officer?

'Cos you're breathtaking..

An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

The most searched phrase on Google from the Minneapolis area right now is “How to make your own weapons”

Guess the cops have run out of ammo

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Minneapolis police cars are a lot like elephants....

...except elephants have their trunks up front and their assholes are in the back.

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during particularly icy winter.

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules, so the husband left Minnesota...

Have you heard the latest joke about Minneapolis?

It’s a riot

We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the…

Minneapolis

I ordered a soft drink in Minneapolis and couldn't believe how small it was

Guess that's why it's in mini-soda.

I was in Minneapolis last night…

…until Mr. Apolis returned home unexpectedly…

We all know where the Big Apple is...

But does anyone know where the Minneapolis

If New York is the Big Apple, then what is the Small Apple?

Minneapolis.

Uff da!

Four expectant fathers.

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room,   while their wives were in labour.

The nurse tells the first man,   "Congratulations!   You're the father of twins!"

"What a coincidence!   I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"

The nurse returns and t...

The Email

After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.



...

What city has many apples?

Many-apple-lis

(Minneapolis)

Have you heard about the woman who was fined $500 for bringing an apple back with her from France?

True story. She says she accidentally put the apple in her bag on the flight from Paris to Minneapolis and completely forgot about it until she was caught by a customs agent.

Apparently she was charged with harboring a Fuji-tive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Peanut Gallery

Somewhere back in the era of grainy black-and-white TV, there was a Saturday kid's show called "Riddle Griddle." It was hosted by Jimmy Valentine, who is now in the Minnesota Broadcasting Hall of Fame.

The show had bleachers where the kids sat, like the "Peanut Galleries" of Mickey Mouse and ...

An Orchestra in Albuquerque in July

A travelling orchestra had planned on being in Albuquerque in January and Minneapolis in July. However, their manager got the dates wrong and the group ended up doing a three-day run in an outdoor theater in Albuquerque in the middle of the July heat. The event was exhausting and by the third night,...

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