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Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle.

One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys.

The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said," I think I'll get up an...

Amazon Employee in Seattle Confirmed to have Coronavirus.

Prime customers expected to have it by Tomorrow if they order within the next 1 hr and 21 mins

A Seattle Mariners fan, a Detroit Tigers fan, a Boston Red Sox fan, and a New York Yankees fan are climbing up a cliff.

They are arguing over who is most loyal to their team. It gets to the point where, when they are halfway up the cliff, the Tigers fan yells, "This is for Detroit!" He then jumps off the cliff and dies.

The three remaining climbers continue to climb until they are three-quarters of the way up ...

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Factual Headlines

Day 1: A famous priest arrives in Seattle airport gets accosted by a reporting asking, "Sir, what are your thoughts about Seattle prostitutes?"

The priest responded, "There are prostitutes in Seattle?"

*News headline the next day: "Famed priest asks about prostitutes upon arriving Seat...

Man in a helicopter

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, ci...

Here in WA state we had our first official Corona virus death near Seattle. Our grocery stores are practically empty from widespread panic. I really don't understand.

It's not going to last. It's made in China.

In the year 1897 a young man named Jonathan Quimby set out for adventure from the frontier city of Seattle. He'd risked his entire life savings to make the trek to the Yukon to prospect.

He started his journey full of excitement and hope. he'd purchased his nearly 2,000lbs of gear and supplies and two fine stock horses to help him carry it.

The voyage to Skagway was difficult. The seas were rough and Jonathan spent many hours at the rail, emptying his stomach into the frigid,...

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A number of years ago, the Seattle Symphony was doing Beethoven's Ninth under the baton of Milton Katims.

At this point, you must understand two things:

1. There's a long segment in this symphony where the bass violins don't have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page.

2. There used to be a tavern called Dez's 400, right across the street from the Seattle Opera House, rather ...

You know what they say in Seattle, if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes...

then shoot yourself in the face.


R.I.P. Kurt Cobain

Hey Seattle, wanna win the Superbowl?

"No thanks, we'll pass"

Think Santa’s moving to Seattle this year

Been seeing a lot of rein deer

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Seattle police just brutally beat a Chinese man after only asking his name.

“I have lost all faith in the local police.” Said the victim - Fuk Yu.

What do you call two rainy days in a row in Seattle?

A weekend

Q. What happened to the blind man in Washington?

A. He couldn’t Seattle!

What did the Seattle mayor say when he banned straws?

Alright everybody, this is the last straw.

A helicopter flying over Seattle,with all communication devices down.because of the fog and rain he lost his position.

Desperate the pilot writes on a piece of paper "Where am I?" and sticks it on the windshield. He sees a tall building and surrounds it. The people inside see the note and hurry to help the pilot and they write on the window: " You're inside a helicopter ". The pilot makes a loop and safely lands. Ev...

Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.

October through May, then June through September.

Its been really hot in Seattle lately, so I converted my dishwasher into an air conditioner the other day.

How? I handed my wife a hand fan to keep me cool.

The Email

After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.



...

So she's the marrying kind

On a recent flight from New York to Seattle an elderly lady stands up and shouts, "Is there a doctor here?"


A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her, "I am. What is the problem?"


She replies, "Do you want to meet my daughter?"

In a helicopter somewhere over Seattle

There was a helicopter pilot lost over Seattle on a particularly cloudy day. He finally comes up next to an office building and holds up a sign to person in the window. The sign read "WHERE AM I?" The person in window responded with their own sign, which read "IN A HELICOPTER".

The pilot imm...

Don't ask me!

A tourist visiting Seattle is sick of rain and asks a boy - Does it ever stop raining here?
Boy - How do I know? I am only eight.

Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team.

“I blame the general manager,” said the first fan. “If he signed better players, we’d be a great team.”

“I blame the players,” said the second fan. “If they made more of an effort, we’d score some points.”

“I blame my parents,” said the third. “If I’d been born in Seattle, I’d be suppo...

What an answer

A pilot is flying a small single engine plane with a lot of really important execs on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 10m, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. ...

Is Satan a Seahawks fan?

A curious man died one day and found himself waiting in the long line for his after-life judgment.

As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of Heaven while others were led over to Satan who threw them into a burning pit. Every so often, instea...

Two men are sitting in a bar

'Hey, when were you born?' asks the first man.

'3rd of February 1961,' replies the second.

'Interesting, that's when I was born too! Where were you born?'

'In Seattle.'

'That's weird, I was born in Seattle as well,' exclaims the first man. 'Where did you go to school?'...

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Bill Gates in an airport lounge

I was in the VIP lounge last week en route to Seattle. Whilst in the lounge, I noticed Bill Gates sitting on the chesterfield enjoying a cognac.

I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle with me but she was running a bit late. Being a forward type of guy, I approac...

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A moth is sitting in the psychiatrist office...

So a moth is sitting in the therapist office, and the therapist says, "So, how's work?" And the moth says, "Oh it's great, just wonderful, just got a promotion which came with a nice raise, they moved me up to the 15th floor and now I have the greatest view of Seattle anyone could ask for." And so t...

What do you call a dirty puddle on a slab of cold concrete in dim, gloomy light?

A sunny day in Seattle.

Jerry died and was in line for the Pearly Gates...

As people approached St. Peter he directed them either into heaven or over towards Satan standing by the fiery pit of Hell. Jerry noticed that every once in a while Satan threw some of the damned around the edge of the pit. This intrigued Jerry, so when he was next in line, Jerry asked Peter, "What'...

A horse learns the guitar

So there once was a horse that wanted to learn how to play the guitar. So he goes around looking for someone to teach him, and soon he finds someone to teach him. After a white, the horse get REALLY good at playing the guitar so he tells his friend Duck about how he learned the guitar.

So the...

Did you hear about the shepherd that retired to the Pacific Northwest?

He was sheepless in Seattle.

A blind tourist asks for directions...

A blind tourist asks a fella for directions.

He says, "Where can I find my way to Seattle?"

The fella looks at him, up and down, he hands the blind tourist a compass and said "Just follow the needle. "

The blind tourist replies sarcasticly, "oh haha, thaat's hilarious." and wal...

A mid 30's guy is grocery shopping, and a 20 something blonde catches his eye.

She looks very familiar, but he can't remember where he met her. When they moved closer, she said to him, "Hi - I think you're the father of one of my children."

The guy freaks out. He says, "I've only cheated on my wife 3 times - in Vegas 5 years ago, in Orlando 4 years ago, and in Seattle ...

A preacher recently died...

His name was Mike Thompson. He left behind his wife of 40 years Alice.

Meanwhile, another Mike Thompson from Seattle was away on business. His wife Allison was awaiting an email from him regarding when he was coming home because they had a wedding to go to that Friday and it was going to be ...

The difference between weather and climate.

Weather is the atmospheric conditions in a location at a given time, example, rain in Seattle.

Climate is weather over a period of time in a location, example, rain in Seattle.

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heard this from a friend not sure how popular it is...

Ron and Josh headed out to their favorite bar in Seattle for a night of drinking only to realize that the prices had been raised tremendously. Ron turned to Josh, "This is ridiculous. I'm not paying that." Josh replied "I heard jet fuel gets you really fucked up. If we can sneak into the airport we ...

Poor Bob in Hell

Poor Bob dies and his spirit heads up to Heaven. But at the Pearly Gates, he's told that he hasn't been good enough, he has to go down to Hell instead. So he does, and when he gets there, there's a long line of spirits waiting to be processed into Hell.

Bob watches for a while and sees th...

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