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Cincinnati Jokes

Cincinnati Bengals allowing 2,500 fans into the stadium for the first game.

Word is, now they’re looking for 2,000 volunteers to attend the game.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Freudian Slip

Tim needs to get to Cincinnati. He decides to take a train. When he walks up to the ticket counter the woman behind the counter had huge breasts. He tells her " I would like Cicket to TITSanati, um I mean a Ticket to Cincinnati." The woman blushes and laughs it off. Tim gets his ticket and boards t...

Did you know that Cincinnati is known as the "The City of Seven Hills"?

Unlike most cities, it's not a continuous grid. It's several geographically distinct areas ringing downtown. It's pretty bewildering when you first visit, but eventually you start to learn your way around and you appreciate how unique and beautiful the area is with so much change in elevation.
...

The Cincinnati zoo is putting in a new shooting range for it's employees.

Ooh, sorry I misread that. They are just getting a new gorilla.

A Poem

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Stop memes about Harambe

-Cincinnati Zoo

What does the Cincinnati gorilla story tell us?

It's the first time that black-on-black crime made national (even international) news.

The CEOs of United Airlines and Cincinnati Zoo want to sit down in a bar with the bar owner.

They can't find a seat but there is a booth on a wall with 3 gentleman in it.

The CEO of United Airlines says "watch this", clicks his fingers and a couple of goons come in, and roughly pull the first gentleman out of the seat.

The CEO of Cincinnati Zoo says "that's nothing", clicks hi...

FRESH HARAMBE OF BELL AIR....

In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where I spent most of my days,Chillin out hangin out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood,I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper...

An apartment building is on fire and a woman screams out the window for help.

“Just jump out the window,” a man yells. “I am a baseball player. I can catch you.”

“Wait,” she says. “What team do you play for?”

“The Cincinnati Reds,” shouts the man.

“Ehhhh,” shrugs the woman. “I will take my chances with the fire.”

Sorry Cincy

Cincinnati ,Oh(AP) -A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Cincinnati courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.


The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping...

Bengals Anthrax Scare

Cincinnati, OH Monday, November 11, 2019 – Anthrax Scare At Paul Brown Stadium

Cincinnati Bengals football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.

Coach Zac Taylor immediately suspended practi...

When I die...

When I die I want the Cincinnati Bengals to be my pall bearers just so they can let me down one last time.

On the anniversary of Harambe's death...

the Cincinnati Zoo should have special deals all day. Discounts for Harambe.

Why doesn't Columbus Ohio have a professional football team?

Because then Cincinnati and Cleveland would want one too.

My Grandfather has the heart of a lion!

And a ban from the cincinnati zoo

How are Harambe memes keeping up?

Cincinnati Zoo keeps trying to shoot them down.

A man wakes up from a five year coma...

Doctor: Sir you've been out for a long time and I'm afraid I have some terrible news.

Patient: Oh I don't mind as long as I get to see my favorite gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo

Everyone knows what Sin City is

But nobody knows that Cincinnati is twice as bad

What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead gorilla?

There aren't any dead babies at the Cincinnati Zoo.

Graft 101.

A Mayor in a small town is trying to secure bids to repair the town's Main Street Bridge. He finds three contractors - one from Cincinnati, one from New York, and one from Washington, D.C. - and invites them all to town to bid on the job.

The Cincinnati man arrives first, inspects the job si...

(Long joke) A man is dying of a rare disease...

This disease has left his body covered in large, bright, yellow, pus-filled craters and has grown exponentially worse over the course of a few months. The man is told by numerous doctors that there is no cure to his life- threatening illness and he doesn't have much time to live.

A Make-A-Wi...

The jungle book has been adapted into a live action play

But after the show at the Cincinnati zoo all other showings have been cancelled.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is helping his daughter with a history paper

A man is helping his daughter with a history paper, when suddenly she asks: "Hey dad, can you tell me about 2016?"

Father: "Oh honey, are you sure you want to write about that?"

Daughter: "Yes! Nobody seems to want to write about it for some reason."

Father: "Well, if you insist...

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