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Yankees Jokes

I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won.

I replied, "Yeah, man, you're free."

To the couple that left their 9 children at Yankee stadium for the day

Please come pick them up. They're beating the Yankees 11 - 2.

A Seattle Mariners fan, a Detroit Tigers fan, a Boston Red Sox fan, and a New York Yankees fan are climbing up a cliff.

They are arguing over who is most loyal to their team. It gets to the point where, when they are halfway up the cliff, the Tigers fan yells, "This is for Detroit!" He then jumps off the cliff and dies.

The three remaining climbers continue to climb until they are three-quarters of the way up ...

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Three sports fans leave a bar...

(Insert teams A, B and C as you like. This is how I know it.)

Three baseball fans walk out of a bar. They turn a corner and see a pair of legs sticking out from behind a bush. They push the bush aside and find a woman dead and completely naked. They call the police and as they wait, they deci...

Scotsman at a Yankees game

So a Scotsman goes on vacation to NYC, and decides to take in a Yankees home game, as he didn't understand baseball and wanted to learn more.

So he settles into his seat and the game starts. In the top of the second inning, he sees the pitcher walk the batter.

The Scotsman, not unders...

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Yankees Dankee Go Wankee

I had to go see my doctor today because I’m having an unusual problem. I say to him, “I’ve got a problem, every time I finish masturbating I sing the American national anthem”.

The doctor said, “Don’t worry, a lot of wankers sing that”.

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Why do the Yankees want Mr. Miyagi on their team?

Because he can catch fly balls with his chopsticks.

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The US, England and Ireland are presented with a question. Why is the head of the penis larger than the shaft?

The US funds a study for 6 months at $20 million, and concludes it is to give the man more pleasure during sex.

The British, not to be outdone by the Yankees, spend 3 months and half the money, and concludes it's to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

The Irish, not to be outdone ...

Trump's favorite baseball team is the Yankees

Except during the draft, then it's the Dodgers.

Baseball

A Braves fan walks into an Atlanta bar and spots a guy wearing a New York Yankees cap. “Drinks for everyone here, bartender!” shouts the Braves fan. “Except for Mr. Yankees!”

The Yankees fan smiles and says, “Thank you!”

Infuriated, the Braves fan orders another round of drinks for ev...

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What do rednecks from the South & assholes from Boston have in common?

They both hate the Yankees!

How many yankees fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll just stand in the dark talking about how good the old one was.

The New York Yankees Officially Sign Adrian Peterson

They needed a good switch hitter.

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Jerking off is like baseball

It starts with the phillies, then yankees, then you have white sox

So this black guys stopped me on the subway and asked "did the Yankees win?"

I looked him in the eye and said "Yes, it's ok, you're free now"

Bill & Hillary are on the mound of Yankees Stadium

Before one of their games. Bill picks up Hillary and heaves her towards home plate.

As the SS run over to help her up, One of their handlers screams at him, "Mr. President! You were supposed to throw the first *pitch!*"

I was walking down the street one day in New York City when I was approached by a black guy. He asked me "Did the Yankees Win?"

I said "Well yeah, you're free"

What are Pee Wee Herman's favorite Baseball Teams?

The Expos and The Yankees

I was walking in the Bronx when a black guy stopped me and said, “Hey man, did the Yankees win?”

I said, “Yes, Of course. The South is still fighting over confederate statues though.”

A fellow from the Midwest has to spend Christmas in the deep South.

He's there on business, and he misses the snow. He tries to cheer himself up by walking around looking at a Christmas crèche ( a tableau representing the Nativity scene ). He's shocked to see that the three wise men are dressed as firemen, in hats and boots and slickers. He asks a passerby why in th...

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Firemen

In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene " that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quick Stop " on the edge of tow...

An American walks into a bar. He finds an Iranian man sitting at a table.

He asks the Iranian man, "Are you one of those Ians?".

The Iranian replied, "What do you mean, Ians?"

"Indians, Iranians - all are the same."

The Iranian paused for a while. After that he asked the American, "Are you one of those keys?".

"What do you mean, keys?"

"...

So a New Yorker wishes to join the Taliban...

And they take him to their leader.

"Do you accept Allah as your God and Mohammad as your prophet?"

"Yes!"

"Will you jihad for the glory of God and his prophet?"

"Yes!"

"Do you believe that after you die, you will join your brethren in God's paradise where rivers of...

Three men are in a bar

Three men are in a bar, talking about the Red Sox. "I think they'll win it all this year," said the first man. "No way, the Yankees are too good", said the second man. "Well, I've converted to several versions of Christianity and still belong to all of them!" declared the third man, before walking o...

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Two Asian men are drinking in a bar...

And a Caucasian man walks in, carrying a shotgun. He takes a look around and then shoots one of the Asian men dead.

Horrified, the bartender shouts: "Why the fuck did you do that?!"

The man replies: "Well, yesterday when I returned from work, this guy was on my bed, with my wife, both ...

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Two men walk into a bar

one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and piss into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."

The bartender laug...

In love and war.

A couple is going through a bitter divorce. The mans prize possession: baseball collectibles valued at $10000. Everyone knows, his spouse is entitled to half, in lieu of splitting his prized collection, he offers 8k cash. Out of spite she denies the offer and insists the collection be split. She too...

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The long-distance eyesight competition

A world championship eyesight competition is taking place in Japan. After several days, the 3 final runner-ups have to prove to the world, the audience and the judges who has the world's best long-distance eyesight.

The first guy steps up into the podium. He looks toward the West and squints ...

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