UPJOKE
british columbiacanadaseattlecitysan franciscogeorge vancouvertorontovancouver islandchicagobaltimoredallasminneapolisdenvermelbourneorlando

Vancouver Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beautiful blonde boards a plane to Vancouver...

As soon as the plane takes off, she leaves her seat in the economy section, heads to first-class, and sits in an empty seat.

A flight attendant notices, and approaches the woman. "Excuse me, ma'am, may I please see your ticket?"

The woman hands her ticket to the attendant. The attend...

A little girl says to her mother: "Mummy, when you were away at work a strange lady came around"...

"Not now," says Mummy. "Wait until Daddy gets home."

So they wait until Daddy gets home, and then Mummy says "Now dear, what were you saying about Daddy and the strange lady?"

And Daddy starts to say something but Mummy says, "You keep quiet - I'll be talking to my attorney in the mo...

What did Victoria say to Vancouver?

I'll BC-ing you later.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex workers in Vancouver, Canada are being given early access to the Covid vaccine. NSFW

Now, who's dick do I have to suck to get vaccinated?

An unemployed guy sees an ad in the paper that says "Photographer wanted for Miami-based luxury bikini line". Thinking it to be a joke, the guy calls the number in the ad.

"Hello," he says. "Is that photographer ad a joke?"

"No," says the voice on the other line. "One of our photographers died suddenly last week, and we're looking for a new one."

"Cool! I've been looking for a new job for a while, and this seems like it could be a very fine job for me."<...

Canadian Humor

A couple moves from Vancouver to Newfoundland. The wife has a wooden leg and needs it insured in her new location so they go to a local insurance agent who quotes them $39 (sorry I know it should be Canadian dollars). They are astounded as it cost almost 2,000 in Vancouver and inquires why so cheap ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Canadian Opera Company has announced that it will play a special concert series at the Vancouver Art Gallery.

They say that this will be the first time the COC has played in the VAG.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a race between a brunette, a redhead and a blond to swim

There was a race between a brunette, a redhead and a blond to swim from the mainland to Vancouver Island, doing only the breaststroke.

After about 14 hours the brunette staggered up on shore and was declared the winner.

About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up to the finish line ...

What's the quickest way to discard an old bike?

Put a lock on it an place it in downtown Vancouver.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A company was looking to hire someone for an important position so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of Canada.

In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours, and the one with the best answer would get the job.

The question was:

A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the m...

A bank robbery . . .

A hooded robber burst into a Vancouver bank and forced the tellers
to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Vancouver customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.

He then looked aro...

Two famous explorers decided to trek across Canada...

They planned for months to make it the perfect trip, and they each had the support of their respective governments. Each explorer was to make a daily video call to their country's #1 news station to update them on their trip, in return for funding.
The explorer from Poland set out, and he met th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

right by the beach ... [long] [slightly nsfw]

So I'm at the beach with my buddy, on Vancouver Island. We're just sitting on the rocks smoking some joints, meanwhile down on the sand there's girls in bikinis laying on their towels getting some sun. We see this guy walking along the beach talking to the girls.

He's wearing a big colorfu...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.