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Three priests we’re traveling to Pittsburgh

The leader says to the first priest, take this money to the counter and get us three tickets to Pittsburgh and get the change in nickels and dimes.

The first priest heads to the counter and sees an absolutely stunning beautiful girl - wearing a tight thin t-shirt that reveals very clearly he...

I’m from Pittsburgh, originally — and just hang out with my mom for a little bit, you know?

Wanted to go home and hang out with her for a little bit, you know, help her out, cheer her up. But all my mom cares about now is the lottery and me running errands for her. Like, every day. Every day, it’s, “Anthony, go play my numbers. Go play my numbers, please. I don’t want to miss out today.” F...

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A man from Pittsburgh decides to do some sightseeing in Boston.

Needing some help with directions, he stops a native Bostonian on the street.

"Hey buddy, can you tell me where the Freedom Trail's at?"

"What kind of talk is that? Don't you know you never end a sentence with a preposition? Now rephrase your question and ask me again."

"Okay....

What do OJ Simpson and the Pittsburgh Steelers have in common?

They beat up on the Browns.

Pittsburgh, New England and Oakland have the same blood type

AB Negative.

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A pastor is headed to Pittsburgh

A pastor is headed to Pittsburgh for a convention with his associate preacher and they decide to take the train.

At the station, the pastor tells his associate to have a seat while he purchases their tickets.

After standing in line at the ticket counter for an extended period of time...

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Freudian slip

A man is sitting in the waiting area of a bus depot when another man sits next to him, shaking his head and gently chuckling. Unable to keep his amusement to himself, he turns to the first man and asks "have you ever had one of those moments where you mean to say one thing but you accidentally say s...

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A man with a black eye boards a plane

He finds his seat and sits right next another man with a badly bruised eye.

"Ha," says the first man, "funny we should be seated next to each other. How'd you get yours?"

"Well," says the second man, "you know that busty ticket lady at check-in?"

"Oh yeah, she was a real looker"...

He Knows You

A senior couple pulls up to a gas station:



Attendant: How may I help you?



Old Man: Please fill it up.



Old Lady: What did he say?



Old Man \[yelling\]: He asked what we wanted and I told him to fill it up.



Attendant: So, where ...

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Two long time friends are having a beer in a Pittsburgh bar.

One says "So this morning, when I was buying the ticket here, the woman behind the counter had the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen. Like they were huge and perfect. I just wanted to put my face in between 'em. When she asked me what I wanted, I was startled and blurted out 'I'll need one picke...

Hey guys, why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 began a racially motivated crime spree on April 28th, 2000 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which left five individuals dead and one paralyzed.

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Destination Pittsburgh

Three priests were heading to Pittsburgh. The youngest priest, knowing he was most connected to the secular world, offered to get the tickets.

Upon arriving at the counter, the noticed the cashier was wearing a low low top and a short short skirt. His heart fluttered a moment...

“Yes ...

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A man boarded a plane to Pittsburgh...

Sitting down, they both notice each other to have a black eye. Striking up conversation, one of the men speak up:

Man 1: "Hey, so I gotta ask. I mean we both have one... How'd you get your shiner?"

Man 2: "Well funniest thing, it was a slip of the tongue! Do you remember that attenda...

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Two men sit next to each other on a plane to Pittsburgh, both have a black eye...

Guy #1: "Funny that we both have a black eye. How did yours happen?"

Guy #2: "Freudian Slip. Walked up to the check-in counter, and there was this lady with those huge boobs. I wanted to ask her if I was at the right counter for the flight to Pittsburgh, but instead of "Pittsburgh" I said "Ti...

What noise does a sports car from Pittsburgh make?

YIIIIIIINNNNNNSSS
YIIIIIIINNNNNNSSS
YIIIIIIINNNNNNSSS

People form Pittsburgh are called Pittsburgers. Do you know what people from Hamburg are called?

Germans

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Two business men are flying first class on an airplane...

They are both wearing suits, carrying briefcases, and both of them have a black eye.

Wondering what the odds of their circumstances are, they start up a conversation

Man #1: “Hey buddy, kinda funny that we’re both dressed for business, flying first class, and we both have black eyes. ...

What does Pittsburgh have in common with Peter Pan?

The Pirates always lose.

how many Pittsburgh Steelers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just talk about how good the last six were

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A man needs 2 tickets to Pittsburgh...

A man needs 2 tickets to Pittsburgh, so he approaches the ticket desk and encounters a rather large-breasted women behind the counter.

"I need 2 pickets to Tittsburgh" he says.

"Excuse me?" the ticket lady says, slightly offended.

"I'm sorry," the man replies. "I've been messing...

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Pittsburgh

There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburgh.

Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass, well endowed, gorgeous, amazing woman.

The priests were all embarrassed and in new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get ...

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Two guys are sitting at a bar and both have black eyes

They laugh about the situation, and one guy says to the other, “What happened to you?”

“Well”, he says, “I was at the airport and I go up to the counter to find this gorgeous, chesty woman working. And instead of saying, ‘Hi, I’d like two tickets to Pittsburgh’, I accidentally said ‘Hi, I’d l...

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So a man and his wife fly to Pittsburgh to see their old friend.

The man's wife hasn't been talking and has been giving her husband some nasty looks, so when she excuses herself to the restroom, the friend asks the man what's wrong.

"So, we're at the airport, right?" he begins. "Well, the lady behind the counter is this young blonde. And she had a *huge* r...

I had an Uncle Pete, he lived in Pennsylvania all his long life...

...although he was technically Jewish, he was really an atheist, but when he hit 85 he thought he should get religion in his life, in case there was a Heaven - I guess he wanted to hedge his bets.

Anyway, he goes to his Rabbi, who says "Peter, I don't want you picking Judaism because it's the...

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Two men with black eyes are sitting at a bar

One turns to the other and asks “how did you get your black eye?”

The other man replies “I need a ticket from Boston to Pittsburgh, and the cashier selling the tickets had large, firm breasts. I tried not to think about them when I ordered my ticket but when she asked me what I wanted I said ...

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Freudian Slip

One friend says to the other "Wow dude, i have to tell you an embarrassing story"
"Sure..What is it?"
"Well, I just had the worst freudian slip experience. I recently had to go on a business trip to Pittsburgh and when I went to the counter in the airport to buy the ticket, the lady working ha...

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Two guys sit down on a train...

Two men sit down on a train, in the same cabin, and begin reading the newspaper.

When they look up, they make eye contact, and both realize, they each had a black eye.

Both men start to chuckle, and decided to exchange stories

Guy1: "...Yeah, I really got it."

Guy2: "Me ...

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Freudian Slip

A man is waiting in line at the bus station. He finally makes his way to the attendant and notices she is well endowed and certainly showing it. He avoids looking at her breasts and promptly states "I'd like a picket to Titsburgh." Realizing his mistake he grows red with embarrassment. After purchas...

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Freudian Slip

Two men are sitting at a bar together, one with a black eye, having a pint. Eventually the unbruised one asks his friend about the eye.

"Ah, I had a bit of a Freudian slip this morning. I needed to buy two train tickets to Pittsburgh, and the girl behind the counter had ENORMOUS knockers. ...

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A Cheating Wife!!!

A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair, and he intended to catch her in the act.

For $100, the cabby...

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Two Pickets

Two drunk Steelers fans were left in Cleveland after a game with no ride home. The first drunk decides that they can just hop a Greyhound bus and be home in no time. He stumbles to the ticket counter and the most beautiful, busty woman he's seen all day was working. He politely asks "can I please ha...

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A guy with a black eye boards his plane

As he sits down in his seat, he notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes...mind if I ask how you got yours?"
The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a 'tongue twister accident'. See, I wa...

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Two men are sitting next to each other on an airplane...

One man is visibly flustered. The other man leans over and asks, "Hey, is there something wrong?"


The other man replies, "Well, I'm a bit embarassed. When I was purchasing my ticket this morning, the ticket girl had the most wonderful pair of breasts. I was distracted and instead of askin...

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A man and his friend are having coffee one morning when the friend brings up the definition of a Freudian slip...

A man and his friend are having coffee one morning when the friend brings up the definition of a Freudian slip. The man asks what this "Freudian Slip" is and his friend describes it as this: "It's when you mean to say one thing, but another word comes out. For instance, the other day I was trying to...

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Freudian Slips

2 construction workers are standing at the pub. One of them says, 'Oh man, I made the worst freudian slip the other day!' The other one says, 'Why? What happened?' The first man says, 'I was buying a plane ticket to Pittsburgh, but the woman working the ticket stall had big boobs. I was going to say...

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Two salesmen walk into a train station

The old salesman sends the younger one up to get their tickets

Behind the counter is a stunning beauty with big tits and a beautiful smile

The young salesman stammers "I'd like two Pickets to Tittsbugh...I mean two tickets to Pittsburgh please"...she laughs, hands him the tickets and h...

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Freudian slip.

So this guy says to his mate that he had a Freudian slip recently. The friend hasn't heard of this before and asks him what he means. So the first guy says: "well it's when you mean to say one thing but instead you say what's on your mind- it's better if I give you an example: The other day I was...

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Two men with black eyes at a ticket office

One man asked the other how he got his black eye but was embarrassed to tell the story, as was the first. So they agreed that if one was to tell the story so would the other.

The first man said "I got my black eye because of a Freudian slip."

"A Freudian slip?" asked the...

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Classic Freudian Slip

Two guys are chatting over a beer. One of them tells the other,
"Man, I had the most embarrassing thing happen to me a few weeks ago - a classic Freudian slip - I was at at the airport and I swear, the gal the behind the counter had the biggest rack I've seen in a long time, and so, instead of s...

What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore?

The Pittsburgh Steelers

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A man approaches the ticket counter at a train station, and notices that he and the attendant have matching black eyes...

The man approaches the ticket counter, and says "Hey, look at that buddy, we've got matching shiners! How'd you get yours?"

The ticket attendant replies, "Oh man, it's the damndest thing... this beautiful woman came up to the counter just SPILLING out of her shirt. Instead of saying 'Here's ...

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3 guys on a plane

3 guys on a plane who had never met, found themselves sitting next to each other on row of seats on a flight to Pittsburgh. After they had all sat down and got a chance to look at each other, something was strangely coincidental ... they each had a black eye.

The guy sitting in the isle seat ...

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The problem with Freudian slips

Two men were sitting around chatting, when the topic of slips of the tongue came up.

The first man said: "The other day I was at the airport, and the girl at the desk was a gorgeous redhead with a D-cup in a *very* tight sweater. What I meant to say was: I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh. Wh...

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A Picket to Tittsburgh

I was at the local bus station to buy a ticket to Pittsburgh. While I was in line to purchase my ticket, I noticed the woman working behind the counter was stunning and had enormous breasts. I have always clammed up whenever I speak to women, let alone a gorgeous woman with a great rack, so I silent...

An old man stumbles into a bar after having had a few already...

Once inside, he slides up to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. "To the class of '55!" he yells, holding the glass aloft. Next to him, an old drunk raises his glass, "To the class of '55!"

"Where you from?" asks the first man of the second after they both toast.

"I'm from Pittsburgh...

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Pass the Marmalade

Two friends are in a bar having a drink and discussing their long working week.

"So on Tuesday, my secretary tells me I have to make a last minute flight to Pittsburgh for a conference. So I rush to the airport. The woman at the ticket desk was extremely attractive and I was so flustered that...

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My go-to joke, thought I'd share.

A man and his friend are sitting at a bar, talking about embarrassing moments. The man says to his friend:

"Man, I messed up the other week. I was at the train station, trying to buy a ticket, and the ticket booth operator was this gorgeous woman, I'm talking 10/10 here. So I go up to her, an...

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Two CEOs were meeting for lunch...

...when one asked, "Hey! What happened to your secretary? The one with the big breasts?"
The other CEO responds downtrodden, "She quit. Got upset by something I said. Now she's suing me for sexual harassment!"
"What did you say?", said the one.
"Well, you know when you say one thing, but yo...

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My girlfriend asked me to fuck her where it smells and make it hurt

So I punched her in the head and drove her to Pittsburgh

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So, a rapist, a sadist, and a pothead walk into a bar and order a beer...

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive backfield here."

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There are three priests at an airport...

Three priests are traveling home from a trip to the Vatican. They have yet to purchase tickets when they get to the airport, so the youngest priest volunteers to purchase them for the rest of the group.

As he walks up to the counter, he notices that the lady working there has a very large bo...

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3 guys are in an elevator at a stuttering convention...

The doors open and a beautiful woman get in. She turns around and says “I’ll give each of you a blowjob if you can tell me where you’re from without stuttering.”

The first guy says “Well, I’m from P-P-P-P-Pittsburgh.” She says “Sorry, next.”

The second guy says “I’m from M-M-M-M-Montan...

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Why Pro Athletes Can't Have Regular Jobs... (long but good)

1 Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the
kids to copulate me."


2 New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, which...

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2 men are talking about Freudian slips...

... one says to the other, "I made the worst Freudian slip the other day. I was trying to buy train tickets from this beautiful female conductor. She had these really huge breasts, so I meant to say 'I would like two tickets to Pittsburgh', but instead I said, 'I would like two pickets to Titsburgh....

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There are two men sitting on a plane next to each and they both have black eyes...

They begin talking and of course the black eyes come up. First man says " It's a funny story... I was going to buy my ticket and when i stepped up to the window, I saw the most beautiful blonde with the biggest rack I had ever seen. I got flustered and mixed my words up. I meant to say, I need one t...

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Two guys who both have a black eye are sitting next to each other on an airplane...

Two guys who both have a black eye happen to sit next to each other on an airplane. So the one guy asks the other: "How come you have a black eye?"

Well you see, I had this family emergency and did not have time to buy a ticket, so I went to the airport hoping to buy one at the counter. Whe...

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A priest a rabbi and a minister end up in Boise, Idaho.

A priest, a rabbi and a minister need to get to a religious conference in Pittsburgh, PA. They decided to fly as a group.

The Priest wanted to take care of the arrangements. He walked into a travel agency, and explained to the owner that he'll need tickets and a hotel. A very attractive wom...

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Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.
<...

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