Baltimore Jokes

Bob was sitting on the plane, waiting to fly to Baltimore, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, obviously in fear.

"What's the matter," Bob asked, "flying bother you?"

"No, I've been transferred to Baltimore. I've heard things are te... read more

They were real nice. Car started right up, and they even helped me with directions back to the interstate.

It's a riot

He had been a bad man his entire life and therefore the devil made sure to give him extra work in the hottest fiery pit of hell. After a week goes by, the devil stops by to see how miserable the man is, but instead finds the man happily going about his work. He asks the man:
"Why are you so damn ... read more

He's hesitant at first. He'd only been to America once before, and it was a favor for a friend. The oboist in his orchestra kindly loaned him the first season of The Wire, but the Count never watched it, as he'd never gotten around to buying a DVD player.

After an uneventful flight and some t... read more

Don't worry though, all the bookstores are safe.

So far they've caused 4 million dollars in improvements.

Probably not the best idea to burn down a cvs pharmacy. The entire city needs a chill pill.

The only thing they left were the work boots.

Real Maryland Crabs

The Pittsburgh Steelers

9-1-1

But someones already stolen it :(

Tonight they will see the National Guard play Call of Duty.

... so when I'm with my wife in Washington D.C., I'm Earnest, and with my girlfriend in Baltimore, I'm Frank.

They both like giving nickel rides to black men!

She beat him so hard the police gave her a job application.

in Baltimore with a box of frozen soft shell crabs and asked a stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator..
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haug... read more

Baltimore

And a lifetime ban from the Baltimore Zoo.

Baltimore has been on fire lately.

the only things left behind were sun tan lotion and father's day cards.

My girlfriend was next to me in my car the other day. We're driving through Baltimore and she says "Did you know Maryland is the third worst state to drive in?" over and over and over. About six miles later I get pulled over by a cop. The cop says "uhh sir? You do realize your girlfriend fell out of... read more

...and wanted to start a conversation with the lady cutting my hair. Maybe she likes birds, so I tried, "This morning when I opened my garage door I heard six different kinds of bird song in the first 30 seconds."

"Yeah, I guess." OK, she is not interested in birds. Maybe sports, "This weeken... read more

So what is he supposed to do? He's gotta send it. He hoofs it back to the post office, and shows it to his boss. The boss says, "come on man, send it to Chick Webb." So he does.

Chick Webb, the bandleader from Baltimore, sees the letter on his kitchen table and says, "Jesus! That can't be for... read more